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My 4.5 yr old asked how babies come out of mommies
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amother




Taupe


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 1:13 am
I have home births, so all of these hospital/doctor answers are jokes.
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essie14




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 1:21 am
If you lie to your kids they will never trust you again. Fact.
You can be vague, you can add more details as they become older but if your kid EVER remembers that you said a baby comes out of the mouth, your children will never ask you anything again and get their information elsewhere.
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amother




Amber


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 6:09 am
I had all of mine via c-section besides for one, my oldest. Therefore, when she asked me I told her that I have a surgery and she knows its true because she sees how I walk afterwards. And I'm lucky she believed me when I told her that Hashem sends a stork to the hospital with a few babies and I get to pick the cutest one. That works until a certain age. Then I just say the surgery sentence.

I didn't appreciate my mil informing her at a young age that when having a baby it's like you're constipated and push to have a bm, that's how you push a baby out. Ever since until not so long ago she was happy to be constipated so she could see what it means to have a baby Banging head Can't Believe It
Thank you mil
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salt




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 6:24 am
amother wrote:
I had all of mine via c-section besides for one, my oldest. Therefore, when she asked me I told her that I have a surgery and she knows its true because she sees how I walk afterwards. And I'm lucky she believed me when I told her that Hashem sends a stork to the hospital with a few babies and I get to pick the cutest one. That works until a certain age. Then I just say the surgery sentence.

I didn't appreciate my mil informing her at a young age that when having a baby it's like you're constipated and push to have a bm, that's how you push a baby out. Ever since until not so long ago she was happy to be constipated so she could see what it means to have a baby Banging head Can't Believe It
Thank you mil


If you're going to lie, I prefer the malach story than the stork Smile
At what age do you switch to the surgery explanation? Do you just tell your kids that actually you were joking when you said the baby is brought by a stork, and really the doctor cuts me open to get the baby out. How do they react to that?

But seriously, what's wrong with saying there's a special hole that opens up for the baby to come out.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 6:26 am
"What do you think"
Go from there.
Also it's ok to do kiddy talk (what Anglos call "lies") as long as you set the truth before they're adults... (no, normal kids don't resent parents as grown up for this, only online)
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amother




Amber


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 6:44 am
salt wrote:
If you're going to lie, I prefer the malach story than the stork Smile
At what age do you switch to the surgery explanation? Do you just tell your kids that actually you were joking when you said the baby is brought by a stork, and really the doctor cuts me open to get the baby out. How do they react to that?

But seriously, what's wrong with saying there's a special hole that opens up for the baby to come out.


So far the other kids haven't said anything. They accepted the stork and baby choosing story. The older they got, they did ask me if it's true and I just told them that there's a baby in my stomach and when Hashem decides it's time to be born, I go to the hospital and the baby is born.
There's really no need to give details.
As Ruchel said, you gotta find out what they know and work with that. Too much info and it's too overwhelming. Like my daughter who was happy to be constipated so she could experience a pushing.
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amother




Slateblue


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 7:03 am
Storks??? Seriously?
Ladies I’m already a grandmother. I have many sons & a few daughters.
I always gave the same response.
A mommy has a special hole between her legs & when a baby is ready to be born Hashem makes a special neis that the hole opens big enough to let the baby through. They ask if it hurts & im honest on that point too explaining that it’s a good pain.
I’ve also had some c sections & I explained those births.
How the baby got into mommy’s tummy is explained simply as well (usually they ask about 6). Mommy & Tatty marry & Hashem makes a neis & takes a part of mommy, Tatty & Hashem to create a baby which grows for 9 months.
Why would anyone think it’s ok to lie? And why the secrecy?
I remember being 3yo & asking how babies are made being told that for a girl you take a pink tablet & a boy a blue one & I clearly recall thinking that my mother is lying.
Not a nice thought.
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rzab




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 7:32 am
You know how you have a hole where you pish from and another where you poop from. Girls have a third hole where the baby comes from.
Simple. Honest. Matter of fact.
They don't usually ask more follow up questions until they are older.
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simba




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 7:54 am
No.. a stork, pills?? Don’t ever lie to your children. I won’t argue being vague and age appropriate but outright lies is not ok. It’s actually an aveira to lie whether or not it is your child.
Babies come out of a hole that stretches for baby to come out when it’s time. I’m trying to figure out what could be wrong or to much about that at any age?


Last edited by simba on Sun, Feb 03 2019, 9:51 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Ginger


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 7:57 am
rzab wrote:
You know how you have a hole where you pish from and another where you poop from. Girls have a third hole where the baby comes from.
Simple. Honest. Matter of fact.
They don't usually ask more follow up questions until they are older.


I think we said something like this. Adding that sometimes a doctor needs to take the baby out if the emergency exit by doing a surgery on the imma's tummy, because all my Kids were born by C-section.
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 8:16 am
When my DS was 4.5 he figured out that a baby was on the way (Mommy - you're big and fat - is there a baby in there?).
When I confirmed his suspicion the first thing he said was "I really want to come with you to the hospital to see how the baby comes out".
Can you tell from the story so far that the stork / malach / neis line was not gonna work?
I told him that the baby comes out of an opening in the private area and only the doctor sees it.
That explanation worked for him.
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oneofakind




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 9:50 am
Lying doesn't pay. It makes you look stupid and untrustworthy and not somebody approachable for sensitive discussions.
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nchr




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 10:41 am
Unpopular opinion here, but I'd have no problem saying yes they come out of her mouth.
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saralem




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 10:54 am
I told my kids that Hashem makes a neis. When they asked why I go to the hospital, I told them that Hashem has the doctor help with the neis. Surprisingly they were ok with this for quite a while.
I also feel that this is the most truthful answer. If birth isn’t a neis, what is?
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 11:14 am
nchr wrote:
Unpopular opinion here, but I'd have no problem saying yes they come out of her mouth.


Can you explain why you would choose this over all the other available options?
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amother




Papaya


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 11:30 am
Hashem made a special opening in a mommy near her bottom for the baby to come out.
Can't show wouldn't be tsnius and can't show it only opens when the baby is ready to come out.

matter of fact
true
age appropriate
enough info
can be built on as child gets older and may ask more or for repeat confirmation
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amother




Apricot


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 11:47 am
Speaking from years of experience. Keep it simple and age-appropriate . Keep it short and only answer the question that the child actually asks. If he asked "how does the baby come out," say "through an opening that Hashem made for babies to get out." If he asks a follow up question, answer that. If he asks to see it, explain it's private. But most likely he won't ; none of mine ever asked that.
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amother




Jade


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 11:59 am
So I remember asking my mother when I was 4 or so. She simply replied, through the v-gina. And that was it! I remember thinking it was kind of weird, but it had the ring of truth, and I accepted it without any follow up questions. And my mother is a total prude, for some reason she had a hard time talking about periods (certainly never discussed s-x), but she had no problem telling me that.
For the poster who says she is ok with telling her kid a baby comes out through the mouth...you are setting up your kid to be a laughingstock if they ever repeat that tidbit to a friend.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:06 pm
You need to hear what they are asking and not answer more. I have a stepdaughter who kept dreading the day that her oldest DC asked whether I was her "real" mother. One fine day, he and I got on to the subject of "babies in tummies," and he asked me "savta, did you ever have a baby in your tummy?" My stepdaughter braced for the BIG TALK about divorce. I said "yes, aunt dd2 lived in my tummy." And off he went to play with his trucks.
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essie14




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 03 2019, 12:13 pm
nchr wrote:
Unpopular opinion here, but I'd have no problem saying yes they come out of her mouth.

There are so many ways to tell your child truthfully without being explicit. Why in the world would you outright LIE to a child?
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