No Pesach plan whatsoever

amother

Plum

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 12:45 pm

We live in a tiny old dingy apartment with a large family. I'm due Erev Pesach iyh.
We don't have the means to move nor do I know of a larger apartment available in my area.
I don't see how we can stay in this smaller than small space, Especially over Yom tov, especially with a new addition.
I also don't feel up to cleaning and cooking for yom tov when I'm just recuperating from birth.
We can't afford hotel at this point. Help wouldn't do much when we don't have where to live.
I have no clue what to do for pesach...

amother

Slategray

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 12:49 pm

amother wrote:

Where do you live?

ra_mom

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 12:49 pm

Wishing you good health and a solution for a bigger home quickly!

As for pesach, just do the minimum. Clean the house like you do every week. Do deep pesach cleaning in the kitchen only. Arrange for friends to come by and pick up the kids for play dates and to take them to the park. Maybe some neighbors wouldn't mind inviting some of the kids over for a meal or two, knowing you are post partum. This way they air out and you get some breathing space too.

B'shaah Tova!

amother

Aubergine

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:10 pm

It seems as if pesach is the least of your problems. let's say you want to went to a hotel for pesach and then you had to come with your new addition to the same small house how you going to figure that? I don't find making pesach not as overwhelming because I don't let it overwhelm me.I clean my house to the best that I can no toothpicks no nothing. And then a simple yummy food. Nothing wrong with making a basic Yom to if you just had a baby. Also look into people who sell food for yontov that you can buy ready made food.

thunderstorm

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:14 pm

Are you in a temporary living space? You are obviously bringing home a baby to this tiny apartment. Were you planning on moving? Your post comes across as if these are not conditions you are able to live in. Making Pesach should not be that much different if you live there all year long. Why would you need a bigger apt just for Pesach?
You should have DH and maybe a temporary cleaning woman help you right before Pesach. In the meantime you can do some organizing and getting rid of extras now when topi still have a couple of months. Less clutter makes it easier to clean.
Cooking should be very basic this year. I've had years where we had large pots of chicken soup with veggies and chicken from the soup for many Yom Tov meals, especially the sedarim, roasted chicken bottoms, Kugel , mashed potatoes and salads and stews cooked in a crockpot. Your DH will have to do more physical work but discuss it with him NOW. He should be fully prepared as to what's to come. You will need an extra pair of hands. A smaller apartment is actually a lot easier to clean. Btdt.

watergirl

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

Watergirl, not all husbands can clean & cook. If my DH would cook, we would all be starving. And DH works from early morning till late at night, he does not have a minute to clean.

I hear you and I know that. But it truly sounds like this is a special circumstance and there arent too many other options. When there are no other options, the busiest and worst in the kitchen needs to roll up their sleeves to clean when they are home and sprinkle garlic powder on a chicken and put it in the oven.

(Eta) I’m not sure what your standards are but this is not the year for chumra filled spring cleaning and fancy meals. Its halachic cleaning and simple as possible.

Last edited by watergirl on Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:37 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Natural

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:17 pm

amother wrote:

If you're looking for sympathy, you got it.

If you're looking for solutions, well, the baby will be small, so you're not going to be in worse straits than you are now.

Start thinking about going all Marie Kondo on your place. Get rid of things that you don't absolutely need. Kids' projects? Save one or two, take pictures of a few more, and toss. Old clothes? Toss. Junk? Toss. Toys and games with missing pieces? Toss. Get a bin per kid, and tell them to get all the toys and games they want into it. (I would add one "family" bin for games that lots of kids play together, so no one kid is stuck making room for them.)

Buy bed risers for any older kids, so things can fit under the bed.

Is your landlord due to paint? Now is the time, since you've got all the junk gone.

Hire a cleaning service for the rest. Its a lot cheaper than going away. With a small apartment, its likely under $200.

Now, buy a cheap set of plastic shelves. This is for your Pesach stuff. No need to clean and empty cupboards. Everything goes on the shelves.

Forget elaborate food. Pesach is the time for simple, delicious fare. Who needs kugels when you can steam your veggies, and pan fry some chicken with spices. Done in no more time than your usual dinner. (DH or older kids don't like it? Grab an apron and step on in.)

B'shaa tova.

Anon because some of this is the advice I tell everyone.

ShishKabob

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:17 pm

Some people manage a pesach baby like this.
They clean their kitchen a few weeks before for pesach, some do it before purim. They kasher and they turn over their kitchen for pesach. They start cooking in bulk and freeze the entire yom tov before. They label everything very carefully. Then when they are done, They pack it all away and go back to chometz. I don't know if this would work for you, but it has for some.
Good luck! and lots of energy and menuchas hanefesh and an easy birth and recovery!

amother

Powderblue

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:30 pm

ShishKabob: I would rather live the entire Pesach on matza and potatoes than clean and kasher my kitchen twice. Cooking is actually the least important part of the prep. Be extra frugal now so that you can afford some takeout on Pesach. And so what if you don't eat as "fancy" this year as in the past? Who says you need to eat fleishigs at every yom tov meal? Although I was due with my third after Pesach (she was born on chol hamoed) I did everything possible ahead of time as far as cleaning and kashering is concerned just in case she was early. If your husband has any days off this year, he should ask to have some for before Pesach. Hopefully some of your children are old enough to really help you.

amother

Plum

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:49 pm

I truly appreciate your responses. All these options were already chewed over. Staying in this tiny old apartment doesn't work. We need to move so we can have menuchas hanefesh, breath and bring in another add child in our home.
Pesach adds to our dilemma.
I don't feel I can bring in pesach in this tiny space. It's not just the cooking and cleaning, it's the overall situation that escalates pesach and with another addition that we don't have where to place in this house.
(We already have two children sleeping in our bedroom).
I don't have family to leave my kids or receive help from them.
DH works from early morning till late evening. He cannot take off from work at that time.
My kids are not big anough to help.
We don't have the means for going away.
It's not realistic to cook and clean now.
I don't feel I'll be bleach to shlep out the entire pesach to the Catskills with a newborn.
There are no apartments in sight to move besides for our dire financial situation.
I feel like we're out of options or solutions.

ShishKabob

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:56 pm

Don't give up op! the situation does sound bleak, but every child is born with their own mazel. Hashem should send you your yeshua bkarov. Don't try to even think of how your yeshua will come, Hashem doesn't need your imagination, but please daven and believe that Hashem can and will help you out of your current matzav! Wishing you lots of bracha and hatzlocha and coping skills and lots of money and resources for a wonderful yom tov and birth and beyond!

pesek zman

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 1:57 pm

Respectfully, there are always options. None of the options would be ideal but you can make them work. It definitely sounds like a tough situation with the timing being very challenging: no one will take that away from you. But if you came in here looking for solutions or ideas, you’re getting them. If you’re looking for sympathy (and no ideas) then say so.

SingALong

Mon, Feb 04 2019, 2:01 pm

Firstly hugs to you! You should be resting now and it’s really hard worrying about how you’ll manage when baby gets here!

I had prepesach babies twice when I made Pesach at home, so I can give you some tips to make it easier.

Like posters above wrote do Pesach cleaning basic Halacha, no churros.
As far as cooking, get the double crock pot. I use it every single day Pesach. Night before Erev yontiff I threw in chicken, onions, potatoes, squash and carrots and basic spices if you use. All my kids had a decent supper before Seder. Every morning I put up another pot of chicken and veggies. Other pot I do something different like squash in tomato sauce or a soup or meatballs, etc. also pre yt you can also put stuff in each night, when you wake up put it into a container and freeze. Then you’ll have less peeling and chopping veggies on Pesach with your newborn. I use the crock pot liner bags so I had minimal cleanup.

As far as space, I also vote for decluttering now as much as possible it will make your life so much more manageable when baby comes along! I don’t know what you have set up now ( how many kids, rooms) but would it work to get bunk bed with a trundle? I have that in 1 of my smaller bedrooms where 3 kids sleep together and that’s a huge space saver.