Home

Tuition Assistance and SAHM's
  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


jerseygirl




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:09 pm
Curious what others think of this:

If you are receiving tuition assistance while being a stay at home mom, there should be a certain amount of hours that are required to assisting those mothers that are working. My kids were out sick last week and have vacation this week.

I am fine and this is less about venting and more about brainstorming. It is extremely hard for mothers to deal with all of these days off from the school and then additional sick days when kids are sick.

For a community that has a tuition crisis, the ones that are benefiting from the tuition break should be assisting those that are working in order to help bring money into the school. By assisting, I mean offering to watch a kids on a vacation day or issru chag, have a place to go if running late from work, etc.
Back to top

amother




Amber


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:15 pm
I agree with you in theory. I don't know if practically this system would work, but, yes, I do think that would make sense.
Back to top

amother




Brunette


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:25 pm
jerseygirl wrote:
Curious what others think of this:

If you are receiving tuition assistance while being a stay at home mom, there should be a certain amount of hours that are required to assisting those mothers that are working. My kids were out sick last week and have vacation this week.

I am fine and this is less about venting and more about brainstorming. It is extremely hard for mothers to deal with all of these days off from the school and then additional sick days when kids are sick.

For a community that has a tuition crisis, the ones that are benefiting from the tuition break should be assisting those that are working in order to help bring money into the school. By assisting, I mean offering to watch a kids on a vacation day or issru chag, have a place to go if running late from work, etc.


How does this bring money into the school? Your plan would be helping out working mothers, but how would it translate to more money for the school?
Back to top

jerseygirl




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:28 pm
I think there are mothers that don't work because "someone has to be home for my kids on vacation, sick days, etc."

If there was a support system in place, it would be easier to get and keep a job.
Back to top

amother




Brunette


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:30 pm
jerseygirl wrote:
I think there are mothers that don't work because "someone has to be home for my kids on vacation, sick days, etc."

If there was a support system in place, it would be easier to get and keep a job.


I would think, based on my community, that the majority of people work either because of financial issues, or because they enjoy working outside of the house. I doubt there are many who base such a decision on vacation or sick days, though I can be very wrong here.
Back to top

SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:31 pm
amother wrote:
How does this bring money into the school? Your plan would be helping out working mothers, but how would it translate to more money for the school?


OP's working brings in money to the school, because she is able to pay more tuition than she would otherwise be able to pay. So her question is whether those who are receiving tuition assistance should be obligated to help her out as needed, since her working in part funds their assistance.

OP, would you really want some random person you don't really know watching your kid if she's sick? It would be nice if your friends who are home offered to help out, but I can't see it as a requirement.

In any case, my experience was the opposite -- SAHMs wanted "playdates" with my kids on holidays, which I understood as them wanting my sitter to watch their kids. Which was fine if my kids wanted a playdate with their kids.
Back to top

mha3484




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:34 pm
This only works under certain circumstances. I feel like what people pay really should be between the committee and the parents. There are a lot of privacy concerns involved in what people are doing with their time all day and just because you dont work does not mean you have the time to watch someone elses kids. It kind of encourages people to be yentish.

My husband is the stay at home parent because he spends a lot of the day taking one of my kids between two schools and a lot of therapy appointments. Its a full time job in and of itself and we have other kids who need to be cared for too. I tell this honestly to the tuition committee, they give me a reasonable number and we pay it which is how it should be.
Back to top

mig100




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:42 pm
jerseygirl wrote:
I think there are mothers that don't work because "someone has to be home for my kids on vacation, sick days, etc."

If there was a support system in place, it would be easier to get and keep a job.


I have not taken a poll. though id guess- this is not terribly uncommon especially if women are the secondary source of income and husband works inflexible demanding job. if they are not working a high paying job- a big chunk of their salary is already going to the babysitter. on top of that - the aggravation of always making arrangements and wishing they can be with their kids on midwinter vacation, chanukah, sick days etc- can definitely lead women to stop working.

I also think its good idea in theory- not sure how would work practically. it would ONLY work on VOLUNTEER basis. if women have to do this- then they are basically working for free- in that case it would make no sense for them. they can work a flexible job -like be on a substituting list and get paid.

I also dont think it should be depended on the tuition break. it should be a voluntery programs that any sahm or those who work flexible short hours- can volunteer to be on a list that can be called to babysit. some sahm may be happy to help out. others may have more than their hands-full with many different situations. it makes no sense to force anyone.


Last edited by mig100 on Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

amother




Mustard


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 2:49 pm
I'm a SAHM who doesn't get a tuition break so I think I'm a pretty impartial person. If I decide I want to stay home because I can't handle working and being there for my family or because I'm dealing with mental health issues I would not want to watch a bunch of other people's kids. Personally if I was required to babysit over vacations I would find that incredibly stressful. You might say oh well, working is also stressful but still.
Back to top

aliavi




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:17 pm
Maybe the point of the thread should be something like if people choose to have less income by not working, requiring more financial assistance, they should have required volunteer hours? I could get on board with that line of thinking, but it really should be up the the committee because it’s subjective.
Back to top

southernbubby




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:31 pm
If the school assigned a certain value to certain activities, such as $20 per hour for lice checking, and that could be used to pay for tuition, then child care could be done by SAHMs in lieu of some of the tuition.
Obviously if parents of scholarship recipients are given a way to pay with time instead money, it reduces the feeling of unfairness felt by those who struggle to pay full tuition.
This is a common complaint in some schools; that they feel that SAHMs whose kids are on scholarship are taking advantage.
Back to top

watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:39 pm
One school in my city assigns a “salary” to any family where one parent opts not to work and has no children at home under the age of 5 BEFORE they will Calculate income and expenses income and expenses in cases for financial assistance is requested.

So for example, let’s say that I have no children under the age of five, I don’t work, and I am requesting financial assistance. Before they will review my case and award financial aid, they will assign a salary that I would in theory be making if I were working at certain amount of hours per week (part time I believe). They then calculate what our expenses are and what our income is before they will grant any aid. I think this is fair. Unless there is a valid medical reason for the mother not to work, why should somebody choose not to have an income when they’re able to work, and drain the schools financial resources?


Last edited by watergirl on Wed, Feb 06 2019, 8:01 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top

Cheiny




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:41 pm
jerseygirl wrote:
Curious what others think of this:

If you are receiving tuition assistance while being a stay at home mom, there should be a certain amount of hours that are required to assisting those mothers that are working. My kids were out sick last week and have vacation this week.

I am fine and this is less about venting and more about brainstorming. It is extremely hard for mothers to deal with all of these days off from the school and then additional sick days when kids are sick.

For a community that has a tuition crisis, the ones that are benefiting from the tuition break should be assisting those that are working in order to help bring money into the school. By assisting, I mean offering to watch a kids on a vacation day or issru chag, have a place to go if running late from work, etc.


And what about all the working parents who get tuition breaks?
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:54 pm
No. Let working moms tell the school to stop, if they want, and let sahm moms go somewhere else then. I'm not a free sitter for you, I have my own things and reasons I am at home, whether a pregnancy, a baby, migraines or whatever. I would totally panic if I was dumped random kids. Not all sahm can go to school btw. For every time I go there, either I pay uber or my husband has to not be a twork.
Back to top

amother




Salmon


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 3:55 pm
I think this is flawed thinking, we've lost what it means to really be a community. In a community, we should be there to support each other and extend ourselves to help our neighbors with the understanding that when they are able, they will do the same.
Back to top

monkeys




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 4:10 pm
As someone who went from being a working mom to a SAHM this way of thinking really bothers me. No one has a CLUE of what goes on in someone else’s private life. There can be a million reasons why a woman can’t work and SAHMs shouldn’t be looked on as taking advantage. And how would you know if they’re getting a tuition break or not?
This way of thinking is warped and comes across as a stressed out working mom taking her frustrations out on the lucky SAHMs.
If you need help and you have a friend who doesn’t work, just ask her. And please do not judge if she says no. They should absolutely not be required to babysit, especially for sick kids. That’s ludicrous.
Back to top

amother




Tan


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 4:13 pm
We are already a community resource. It usually works out that SAHM end up doing more for the community than working moms. SAHMs are expected to be available to get kids off the bus, run car pools, and do class errands anyway. I usually end up doing way more than my share of carpooling as a SAHM. I am also the one that would get the calls to get the kids off the bus if the working mom is going to be late.

In terms of cooking for others, the SAHMs end up doing most of the meals. We visit the sick and end up doing chessed driving. I have volunteered as a substitute teacher when the schools had no money to pay subs. And we pay full tuition.
Back to top

amother




Mauve


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 4:21 pm
Ummm no...it's like punishing stay at home moms for not working!
Sounds easier to go to work Can't Believe It
Back to top

mig100




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 4:25 pm
amother wrote:
We are already a community resource. It usually works out that SAHM end up doing more for the community than working moms. SAHMs are expected to be available to get kids off the bus, run car pools, and do class errands anyway. I usually end up doing way more than my share of carpooling as a SAHM. I am also the one that would get the calls to get the kids off the bus if the working mom is going to be late.

In terms of cooking for others, the SAHMs end up doing most of the meals. We visit the sick and end up doing chessed driving. I have volunteered as a substitute teacher when the schools had no money to pay subs. And we pay full tuition.


kudos to you- you sound like the type that others turn to and rely on for a helping hand.

I think I can sum up this whole thread with 2 principals

1) everyone sahm /those who dont have kids/ working moms and everyone else should do what they can to help others if/ when they have time. chesed to others is beutiful - though of course not at expense of a persons responsibilities, energy , resources et.

2) no one should expect others - especially sahm to be available to help them. helping others should volunteery not demanded. how much free time someone has depends on MANY factors not just- how many kids and how many hours they work. we have no clue what is going on in others life.
Back to top

amother




Linen


Post  Tue, Feb 05 2019, 4:29 pm
I'm a SAHM paying full tuition for 3 children so far. I have 2 more at home. I don't work because there would be no way for me to run my household the way I would like for it to run, and work as well. This means that I've made the necessary lifestyle choices to accommodate for this.

1. My dh is busy working, and is not heavily involved in the childcare, errand running, supper making, chore doing. He definitely helps out when he is around and available, but that is not most of the time.

2. I do not have cleaning help or babysitters or any other helpful household staff.

3. We get by with what we've got after we've paid tuition. It is what it is, and we do what we can with it.

Let me just tell you- life is overwhelming. I am grateful that I can run my home the way I feel is ideal, while also not relying on someone else to pay my bills. Being a SAHM is not the same as being a lazy trophy wife. It also doesn't mean you're taking advantage of others or even that you have endless extra time and resources to 'pay back' those who are covering your behind.

Life is hard. Most of us are doing the best we can. I understand your struggle and that finding daycare when your kids are off is tough. Honestly, that's one reason I don't work. KH, with my growing family, someone needs to be picked up early or has an appointment all of the time. I couldn't do it. We all make the best choices available to us, and after that, we look to G-d for help. Not those we are inappropriately resentful of.
Back to top
  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 1 of 7 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Yet Another TUITION VENT
by amother
3 Yesterday at 3:07 pm View last post
Why does tuition committee need credit authorization form?
by amother
8 Tue, Feb 12 2019, 7:12 am View last post
Emergency savings and tuition assistance
by amother
30 Wed, Feb 06 2019, 3:54 pm View last post
Not paying full tuition but have new cars-lavish lifestyle
by amother
606 Thu, Jan 03 2019, 3:31 am View last post
Tuition for children of staff
by amother
28 Thu, Dec 06 2018, 3:37 pm View last post

Jump to: