Telling 3 and 5 year old about new baby iyh

amother

Mustard

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 10:24 pm

How would you do it? We’ve been talking about it in theory like iyh when we have a baby we will use those bibs, you’ll also bring home a sign from morah from the kids in the class, .etc.

amother

Jade

Tue, Feb 05 2019, 11:03 pm

Why do you feel it's important to tell them? Young kids have no concept of time. A week and a month is the same for them. If you feel like you must tell them, you can say "maybe after pesach we will have a new baby." More than this they wont grasp as they're quite young.

amother

Aquamarine

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:15 am

I said nothing utill my third trimester. Than I started pointing out other cute babies. My dd and ds started talking about their cute friends and cousins babies. And we read occasionally pointed out babies in books. My babies are usually born by there due date so like 2 weeks before, after playing with a cousins baby, I told them. I want to daven to hashem for such a cute baby would they like one. I told them that babies are cute but they are a lot of work especially at the beginning. I didn't actually say I was having the baby just that it was something I wanted. When the baby was born I told them that I got them a cute baby they were thrilled. Though a tiny drop disappointed that the baby wasn't a girl with their favorite baby cousins name. But they loved him anyways to pieces.and now that he smiles back at them they love him even more

keym

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 9:23 am

I tell them at the beginning of the 3rd trimester. I say Mommy is a little more tired and a little fat because there's a new baby growing in Mommy's belly. First comes Purim, then comes Pesach, then the new baby.

Then over the next few weeks, I add how they will play at either Tante Esti or Tante Rochi. And how a baby is so much fun but we have to be so gentle.

pause

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 9:29 am

keym wrote:

This.

keym

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:06 am

1) so I could say Mommy is not fat, that's a baby. (Vanity alert).
2) so I could tell my kids to be careful- don't throw toys or jump on Mommy's belly. That's our baby inside.
3) because I think its important to teach them that Mommy is a little tired because she's busy growing our baby inside her belly. Same as I did for all of you.

4) my 5 yr olds are in primary learning that Rivka had 2 babies kicking in her belly. Why is that fine, but it would be problematic that I have a baby in my belly.

Most importantly, I pride myself on being honest when it comes up. And in my community and how I was raised, its not shameful. We tell our preschoolers by the time its fairly obvious and everyone knows.
So what? My kid will tell his Morah that his Mommy has a baby in her belly? She realized that by looking at me.
I don't really get the secrecy thing past the 6th month.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:15 am

I'm about 6 months pregnant. My older kids (aged 6 to 11) know because they realize I'm avoiding heavy work and am more tired than usual. Also, my parents and siblings know and there would be no reason or practical way hide it.

I have a 4 year old with some delays and an almost 3 year old. The older siblings have been so excited they've told the younger kids that theres a baby in ny tummy that's going to come out soon and play with them. All the kids are super excited and talk casually and oh-so-adorably about it.

I see no harm in this. Yes, it's a long wait (even for the six year old) but they enjoy it. My 4 year old counts on her fingers and says "first Hashem put oldestDC in your tummy, and the doctor took him out, then Hashem put secondDC in your tummy, and ...." and the 2 year old talks about sharing his bottle and his room with the baby and being a big brother. It makes them involved and happy.

BH I've never had a problem of jealousy or kids feeling displaced with the new baby (even when my 4 year old with special needs was born) and I think its because they're so involved.

pause

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:16 am

amother wrote:

Keym, may I ask why its important to tell little kids that's theres a baby growing in your belly?

For me, I want them to know when they are young where babies grow, so that I don't need to have a "conversation" with them when they are older. It becomes just another fact to them.

I also want them to know and have even let them feel the baby moving because it makes the baby more real for them and it's a bonding experience. I tell them that the baby can feel their soft touch and gets to know them this way.

pause

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:17 am

keym wrote:

So what? My kid will tell his Morah that his Mommy has a baby in her belly? She realized that by looking at me.

Hey, you stole my line!

Any random man or woman on the street knows I'm going to have a baby just by looking at me, and my own kids, whom this baby will affect most of all, they should not know?!

keym

Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:34 am

pause wrote:

Hey, you stole my line!

Any random man or woman on the street knows I'm going to have a baby just by looking at me, and my own kids, whom this baby will affect most of all, they should not know?!

I'll never forget the time my 13 yr old was four and I told her I was gonna have a baby. (I was at the end of my 7th month). She ran into school and whispered in Morah's ear " my Mommy is going to have a baby- don't tell anyone". The Morah pretended to be surprised. But cmon!! It was so obvious.