Home

Do your kids get dessert if they didn't finish supper?
  Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next  Last >>
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 4:20 pm
keym wrote:
This totally deserves a spin off. But the best advice I got was not to "buy off" their nosh, but let them save it for later and give them a bit at a time. Once I started that, the mindless face stuffing stopped. Because they knew they could have it later.

But about the other kid, I would have a conversation with the Dr for starters if he's over 8. Why doesn't his "full-o-meter" register? There are people who don't register full ever.

I let them choose to save it for later or to sell it to me. It's not a forced thing. So the more business savvy kid sells it to me while the other one doesn't save it at all, not for later and not to sell. There's simply nothing left at the end of the day. It's not that the "full-o-meter" doesn't register because when it's chicken or vegetables or fish or any other normal food, this kid tends to easily get full, stomach hurt, or not like the food. It's only with sweets that the kid knows no limit at all almost ever.
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 4:21 pm
dankbar wrote:
Is the same kid that never gets full from nosh
Always gets too full from reg food? You clearly see that the nosh/ dessert/ treat being obsessed about is creating the problem & forcing him to eat the healthy ones & withholding the treats....

What came first the chicken or the egg? After seeing how this kid can be too full at the Shabbos meal and then come running at dessert, I set some rules in place. Which this kid is constantly challenging. Hence my OP.
Back to top

amother




Babypink


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:08 pm
amother wrote:
I hear, but then why should he be stuffing himself with dessert?


If you're offering a reasonable size portion he isnt stuffing himself. You're not letting him have 3 pieces of cake. It's perfectly normal to find certain foods more appealing than others.
Back to top

Laiya




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:12 pm
amother wrote:
You think they sit??? They go play.


We do have them sit at the shabbos table for a reasonable time, although they don't have to eat.
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:13 pm
amother wrote:
If you're offering a reasonable size portion he isnt stuffing himself. You're not letting him have 3 pieces of cake. It's perfectly normal to find certain foods more appealing than others.

What I meant was that if he's too "stuffed" to eat regular food, how does he have place to eat dessert? I don't mean it in practical terms, I mean it chinuch wise. If I accept his "too full" excuse, why does he then get to have dessert?
Back to top

Librarian




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:13 pm
No dessert during the week
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:15 pm
Laiya wrote:
We do have them sit at the shabbos table for a reasonable time, although they don't have to eat.
They barely come to the table for kiddush, only if I insist. I see no point in forcing them to sit if they're not eating. When DH asks them their parsha sheets, then they're obviously there. But it's not like they're sitting for 2 hours at the table not eating but watching everyone else eat (which is what I was responding to).
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:22 pm
Librarian wrote:
No dessert during the week

What about Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Yom tov?
Back to top

amother




Pumpkin


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:07 pm
amother wrote:
What I meant was that if he's too "stuffed" to eat regular food, how does he have place to eat dessert? I don't mean it in practical terms, I mean it chinuch wise. If I accept his "too full" excuse, why does he then get to have dessert?


IME when kids say they are full when they clearly haven't eaten much and do have room for dessert what they really mean is "I don't like this food" or "I don't feel like eating this food right now." What would happen if you said: "You must not be full or you wouldn't have room for dessert, but I see this food does not appeal to you right now. Is there a different healthy food that you would prefer?" (only something easy to make or that you have on hand) Or maybe another idea is to offer him some input in advance into what will be served for dinner and/or Shabbos seudah.
Back to top

Laiya




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:14 pm
amother wrote:
They barely come to the table for kiddush, only if I insist. I see no point in forcing them to sit if they're not eating. When DH asks them their parsha sheets, then they're obviously there. But it's not like they're sitting for 2 hours at the table not eating but watching everyone else eat (which is what I was responding to).


Can only speak for my own kids, but if they're sitting at the table and everyone else is eating, if they're actually hungry and don't dislike the food, they'll inevitably eat.
Back to top

amother




Royalblue


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:23 pm
amother wrote:
They barely come to the table for kiddush, only if I insist. I see no point in forcing them to sit if they're not eating. When DH asks them their parsha sheets, then they're obviously there. But it's not like they're sitting for 2 hours at the table not eating but watching everyone else eat (which is what I was responding to).


If your kids are busy doing other things they won't necessarily be hungry enough to push themselves to eat when the meal is served. Personally, I find it important for the kids chinuch that they join the family for the seuda, each one expected to remain for varying lengths of time depending on age. During the week everyone sits at the table for meal time too. They know that food is available at meal times (and I'm flexible about backup options for when a child really doesn't like something), and they can't expect to be served anything a half hour after the table has been cleared. It's basic etiquette and healthy habits as far as I'm concerned. Obviously you feel differently, but that may explain why no one is enthusiastic about eating. Many kids would prefer to continue with whatever they're playing and assume they can eat later if they're hungry.
Back to top

yksraya




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:33 pm
What I do is, I make sure to cook foods the kids like. My kids know eating is important. If my most picky eater still doesn't like what I cooked, or I cooked something I knew the picky ones won't like I offer them scrambled eggs or fried egg etc.

I've never used dessert as an incentive. If we have dessert (Rarely) everyone can have. no strings attached.
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:27 pm
amother wrote:
IME when kids say they are full when they clearly haven't eaten much and do have room for dessert what they really mean is "I don't like this food" or "I don't feel like eating this food right now." What would happen if you said: "You must not be full or you wouldn't have room for dessert, but I see this food does not appeal to you right now. Is there a different healthy food that you would prefer?" (only something easy to make or that you have on hand) Or maybe another idea is to offer him some input in advance into what will be served for dinner and/or Shabbos seudah.

I am basically saying that he's lying. I'm telling him that I know he isn't full so we're skipping the part of him listening to what his stomach is telling him. Which I used to say, until he began using it as an excuse.
Once when I said, it can't be you're full because you barely ate, this kids said, Well, Mommy, you're not me, you don't know how my stomach feels. Smile

But then when I serve dessert, I'll say "Sweetie, you're too full to have dessert, remember you said you're full?", and in no time, this kid's stomach magically emptied out... and ate up the supper plate...
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:29 pm
Laiya wrote:
Can only speak for my own kids, but if they're sitting at the table and everyone else is eating, if they're actually hungry and don't dislike the food, they'll inevitably eat.
But they're not hungry because they're full from lunch/snack/kiddush in shul... It's only at dessert that they suddenly appear. And then I find myself not letting them have because they didn't eat a normal thing yet. Automatically what happens is that dessert becomes the motivation, or conversely, the threat, to get them to eat healthy.
Back to top

amother




Pumpkin


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:09 pm
amother wrote:
I am basically saying that he's lying. I'm telling him that I know he isn't full so we're skipping the part of him listening to what his stomach is telling him. Which I used to say, until he began using it as an excuse.
Once when I said, it can't be you're full because you barely ate, this kids said, Well, Mommy, you're not me, you don't know how my stomach feels. Smile

But then when I serve dessert, I'll say "Sweetie, you're too full to have dessert, remember you said you're full?", and in no time, this kid's stomach magically emptied out... and ate up the supper plate...


But the question is if he is clearly not full why is he saying that he is full? If there was no dessert that night would he still say he was full? If so then I think maybe you need to see what us so unappealing about the dinner that he doesn't want to eat it. OTOH If he is only saying he is full because there is dessert that day and he would rather skip to dessert, then you have to either: (a) decide that there is no dessert for people who claim to be full (not a punishment because he is the one saying he is full and full means no room for food) OR (b) you have to just let him have dessert and when the next meal that has no dessert rolls around he won't have a reason to say he is full because there is no dessert to skip to and he'll eat regular food then.
Back to top

amother




Pumpkin


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:13 pm
amother wrote:
But they're not hungry because they're full from lunch/snack/kiddush in shul... It's only at dessert that they suddenly appear. And then I find myself not letting them have because they didn't eat a normal thing yet. Automatically what happens is that dessert becomes the motivation, or conversely, the threat, to get them to eat healthy.


This happens with my kids sometimes, only on Shabbos morning. I would just let them have dessert and when they get hungry a few hours later they'll eat real food. Skipping one meal won't hurt them.
Back to top

amother




Pumpkin


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:15 pm
Also, are there ANY healthy (or at least relatively healthy) foods that actually appeal to him and that he really enjoys? If so, those are the foods I would serve on a day when I am serving dessert.
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:17 pm
amother wrote:
But the question is if he is clearly not full why is he saying that he is full? If there was no dessert that night would he still say he was full? If so then I think maybe you need to see what us so unappealing about the dinner that he doesn't want to eat it. OTOH If he is only saying he is full because there is dessert that day and he would rather skip to dessert, then you have to either: (a) decide that there is no dessert for people who claim to be full (not a punishment because he is the one saying he is full and full means no room for food) OR (b) you have to just let him have dessert and when the next meal that has no dessert rolls around he won't have a reason to say he is full because there is no dessert to skip to and he'll eat regular food then.

He's saying he's full either because he really is, but dessert he'll stuff in regardless. Or he's not really full but he's not hungry either and he'd rather play and the food isn't something he especially likes, though he doesn't necessarily not like it.
It doesn't matter if there's dessert or not.

However, if there is dessert, he'll want it, and I have to decide between a and b, which is what my OP was asking. Does your child get dessert even if they didn't eat/finish (only ate a few bites of) their supper?
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:19 pm
amother wrote:
Also, are there ANY healthy (or at least relatively healthy) foods that actually appeal to him and that he really enjoys? If so, those are the foods I would serve on a day when I am serving dessert.

Our Shabbos meals tend to look the same each week. Rosh chodesh is regular weekday supper which I make according to the day of the week, I.e. sunday leftovers, meatless monday, etc. I guess that's something I can keep in mind for next rosh chodesh.
Back to top

amother




Magenta


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:20 pm
amother wrote:
This happens with my kids sometimes, only on Shabbos morning. I would just let them have dessert and when they get hungry a few hours later they'll eat real food. Skipping one meal won't hurt them.

In our house, a few hours later we have Shabbos party.
Back to top
  Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10  Next  Last >> Recent Topics

Page 8 of 10 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Whats For Supper Tonight-Honest!
by mom!
972 Yesterday at 11:31 pm View last post
News on the run - current events newsletter for kids
by amother
1 Yesterday at 1:32 am View last post
by zcc
Bar keepers friend ruined the finish of my quartz counter
by amother
2 Tue, Feb 19 2019, 9:57 am View last post
Chesed ideas w/young kids 28 Tue, Feb 19 2019, 9:10 am View last post
by sky
If NONE of your kids have a diagnosis
by amother
7 Tue, Feb 19 2019, 8:53 am View last post

Jump to: