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Rabbi names nanny who abused him as a child
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Cheiny




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:21 pm
https://www.vosizneias.com/316.....s-a-child/

Just one more thing to think about when deciding whether to stay at home with your young kids...l
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:23 pm
Cheiny wrote:
https://www.vosizneias.com/316094/2019/02/06/salt-lake-city-utah-chabad-rabbi-tells-court-that-nanny-s-xually-abused-him-as-a-child/

Just one more thing to think about when deciding whether to stay at home with your young kids...l


Actually the mother did stay at home with the kids. She just had help. I can’t believe that’s your take away from the article.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:25 pm
I hope more people step forward. We must stop strangers from raising our children.
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amother




Cyan


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:33 pm
Cheiny wrote:
https://www.vosizneias.com/316094/2019/02/06/salt-lake-city-utah-chabad-rabbi-tells-court-that-nanny-s-xually-abused-him-as-a-child/

Just one more thing to think about when deciding whether to stay at home with your young kids...l


This is not at all respectful of the acceptable differences in yiddishkeit. SMH.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 7:34 pm
My DH grew up poor with a SAHM but they had three maids. One cooked, one cleaned and one took care of the kids. This was in Brazil.
Based on a shiur I heard from Rabbi Yosef Veiner, he was discussing the kesubah and providing the wife with household help, cooking help and child rearing help is really what is the ideal. ( I don't recall what Sefer he was reading from).
There is nothing wrong with having nannies helping out . Of course we need to protect our children too to the best of our ability. More often than not s-xual abuse happens under the roof of the child's home.
It's heartbreaking to read the article but should be empowering to abuse victims to come forward.
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rivkam




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:25 pm
What a strong person this rabbi is! It's so amazing that he has the courage to take this to courts.
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amother




Mistyrose


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:38 pm
Read the articles from the not Jewish newspapers with more details. Much of the abuse went on in the house when the mother was home
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amother




Purple


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:40 pm
This Rabbi is a relative of mine. So so so horrific. I’m in shock. Feel so bad for him, his wife, and parents who are probably eaten by guilt. What a scary world.
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amother




Mustard


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:49 pm
amother wrote:
Read the articles from the not Jewish newspapers with more details. Much of the abuse went on in the house when the mother was home


Where? I only see the Jerusalem post when I search his name. I think it’s amazing that he is speaking out!
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chestnut




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 10:57 pm
amother wrote:
I hope more people step forward. We must stop strangers from raising our children.


Do we also stop strangers from educating our children (abuse by teachers/rabbis/camp counselors)?

Do we also stop RELATIVES and FRIENDS from spending time with our children? (As we know, often abusers are people close to victims).

Do we stop using babysitters and day care centers?

What a weird take away from this article.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Feb 06 2019, 11:11 pm
amother wrote:
Where? I only see the Jerusalem post when I search his name. I think it’s amazing that he is speaking out!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/w.....me-too.amp
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amother




Gray


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 2:03 am
chestnut wrote:
Do we also stop strangers from educating our children (abuse by teachers/rabbis/camp counselors)?

Do we also stop RELATIVES and FRIENDS from spending time with our children? (As we know, often abusers are people close to victims).

Do we stop using babysitters and day care centers?

What a weird take away from this article.


We SUPERVISE. Even if we need to rely on family members, friends, babysitters, etc. we need to keep our eyes and ears open at all times. We need to keep our finger on the pulse and never be too distracted!
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 2:27 am
amother wrote:
I hope more people step forward. We must stop strangers from raising our children.
First off, this took place in the home, when the mother was there too, so your argument doesnt hold any water.
Second of all, what about parents who HAVE TO work?
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:20 am
Gray, hugs. Your life must be horrible. FTR tho most abusers are "family"
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:23 am
Another strange takeaway. It was a TV show that made him realize he was a victim. Truth comes in many packages.
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simba




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:55 am
What a brave man he is. I’m so glad that his wife and parents have been supportive of him.
My heart goes out to him for having his innocence stolen at such a young age.

Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.
That’s the only takeaway.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:34 am
Cheiny, I don't go to VIN. Is there any toeles in my opening and reading this link, and the whole thread? Thanks.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:56 am
PinkFridge wrote:
Cheiny, I don't go to VIN. Is there any toeles in my opening and reading this link, and the whole thread? Thanks.


In short, there was a family of chabad shluchim in Utah that had household help as the kids were homeschooled and the parents obviously were involved in lots of tzorchei tzibur. One of the housekeepers molested their son over a period of ten years. It happened while his mother was in the home and his siblings were playing nearby. He did not have the tools to understand what was happening and felt a lot of shame and guilt. After age 18 he was watching a show that described what he experienced, and it was labeled child abuse. That was the first time he began to understand that he was a victim and held no responsibility whatsoever. He struggled with the effects in his marriage and continues to struggle today because this affects people so deeply. The me too movement is what inspired him to come forward and press charges against his abuser.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:00 am
amother wrote:
In short, there was a family of chabad shluchim in Utah that had household help as the kids were homeschooled and the parents obviously were involved in lots of tzorchei tzibur. One of the housekeepers molested their son over a period of ten years. It happened while his mother was in the home and his siblings were playing nearby. He did not have the tools to understand what was happening and felt a lot of shame and guilt. After age 18 he was watching a show that described what he experienced, and it was labeled child abuse. That was the first time he began to understand that he was a victim and held no responsibility whatsoever. He struggled with the effects in his marriage and continues to struggle today because this affects people so deeply. The me too movement is what inspired him to come forward and press charges against his abuser.


Thanks.
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Raisin




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:08 am
This is really brave of him to come forward. My takeaway is not that you shouldn't leave kids with nannies or hire non Jewish nannies. Unfortunately, Jewish, frum people do these things too. Rebbies in yeshivos, camp counselors, uncles, cousins, female principals of frum schools, therapists...these are just a few off the top of my head who have abused children.

I have a few thoughts:

1) He was able to survive this experience and move as well as he has because his abuser was not a frum person in authority. When a kid is abused by a rebbie, for example, his whole world shatters. The person who is teaching him torah and how to be a good Jew is doing this. This can obviously have a terrible effect on yiras shamayim.

2) Because the abuser was not frum he has not had to go through the additional trauma of being harassed and abused and disbelieved by members of the frum community, or watch while his abuser is given support and tzedaka.
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