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-> Fashion and Beauty
watergirl
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 Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:36 am
I wear sweatpants style pajama shirts and one of my husbands camp tshirts (he works in the summers) every night. When I leave my room, I leave it however I want if there are no guests in the house. I am free to walk around barefoot if I want. When my step kids are over, I have a full length zip up sweatshirt material robe that I love and is also great for running to the car or whatever. We dont have a master bath and we all share the same one. I dont go to the main floor without a bra unless its midnight and my dog decides she has to go out ( if my step kids are over then I’ll throw on my robe on in this scenario as well or my husband takes the dog out, we switch off). (Eta and hair generally uncovered once I’m in pajamas or any other time if the curtains are closed).
But why should what I wear at night have any meaning to you? I do me. You do you.
Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:07 am; edited 2 times in total
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amother
Brunette
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:37 am
My kids are older now but have a history of making our bed their own...so it was that plus my personal preference that I end up mostly wearing pretty tzniyus nightgowns. I get them cheap on Amazon with long sleeves and button down front. Not makpid on a super high neck but prefer below knee.
If I do wear something like pants or leggings to bed it is a definite message to DH that I am open to his attentions.
YU yeshivish
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 8:55 am
| amother wrote: | | What sleepwear do you feel is acceptable? Do you have things that aren’t modest and then wear a robe? Always wear slippers? | I haven’t read through the four pages yet, but I wear a (short sleeve) T-shirt and either pants, sweat pants, or leggings. I don’t wear sock to sleep, but I usually wear socks or socks and shoes around the house.
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bat1
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:02 am
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Chasidish - wear long sleeve pajamas when nidda. (never mind covers better and keeps pads in place too... wear nightgown - white only during shiva neki'yim, and short sleeve pj's or nightshirts all other times. and walk around the house in it too. even though no grown kids. if hub needs to make a bracha I either cover myself with towel for a sec or leave room for sec.
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amother
Coffee
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:14 am
not chassidish at all but my dh wears a nightgown out of the room- it's hysterical but supper comfy. He gets a kick out of wearing it in front of his family who thought it was really funny. my dh is like that though- he does his own thing and doesn't care who sees him doing it.
can you post a link to a nightgown on amazon? I need one that I can nurse in...
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icebreaker
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:17 am
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Nope. Sometimes I sleep in a tank top and underwear lol. Usually it’s tank top and shorts.
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amother
Ginger
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:27 am
I wear short sleeve loose fitting tee shirts and leggings. If it's cold I'll throw on a sweatshirt. No difference during nidda times. Ill walk around upstairs in pjs but try to put on a skirt and sweatshirt if I'm going downstairs.
I have some tznius nighgowns that I bought when I was engaged but I never wear them. I find nightgowns to be very uncomfortable.
I'm OOT yeshivish
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:31 am
| Quote: | Some answers, as they come to mind... Not in any specific order:
A) my children (I don't have a master bathroom)
B) I don't feel comfortable in untznius clothing. I've been wearing nightgown since I was young-maybe 8/10 years old
C) tznius is not only when other see you. It's mehudar to try to be tznius as much as possible. The shechina is present.
D) the zohar says that women who are tznius in the home have good children
I really would feel uncomfortable in untznius clothing. I am someone who it's very makpid in tznius in general. (Only wear tights, wear a full slip, my sheitel is not long and I am 30 yo)
My son would be very uncomfortable seeing me in pjs.he doesn't like it when his younger sister wears knee socks and her skirt flies up.
My husband wouldn't want me walking around not covered in front of the kids.
Truthfully, I don't have special lingerie that I wear. as a kallah, I bought a beautiful satin sleeveless nightgown with a matching robe, but don't feel comfortable in it. I only wore it a few times during first few years of marriage. It is hidden in my closet. |
Regarding the bolded, I just want to point something out. I always learned that fhere is no inyan of tznius in a bedroom. If one wants to sleep with nothing, that’s perfectly fine. The inyan of being tzanua as much as possible is when tznius is applicable.
Regarding your next point, tznius in the home means outside of the bedroom. It is definitely praiseworthy to dress within the guidelines of tznius when one is home, and others will not be seeing them.
Regarding the other bolded point, Bay is HIS issue, not your daughters. You and your husband set the household guidelines, not your son. He can not impose HIS restrictions on your daughter. If you and your husband have determined that your daughter needs to wear xyz when out of her bedroom, and she does that, your son needs to turn away when she does something he doesn’t like. My oldest is almost 12, and my next is an almost 10 year old girl, who loves to do gymnastics all over the house. (Literally- playroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, hallways....wherever she can) My husband and I told her that she needs to wear shorts when doing this. However, if we had determined that she didn’t need to, my son would have to look the other way, should he be bothered by her skirt going up. (Or down, if she is upside down)
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livinginflatbus
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:41 am
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Im Not even sure I own a nightgown. Usually wear somebody sorry of pajama shirt with pants or sweatpants. I’m actually surprised so many people wear nightgowns but to each his own.
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amother
Puce
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:45 am
I wear tznius nightgown, (till the floor cuz I can't be bothered wearing socks and I would put on if it was shorter) I also don't get dressed straight away in the morning so I hang around for a few hours like this and would not feel comfortable if it wasn't tznius.
I'm also curious, I change out if my white nightgown before I leave my room, doesn't anyone else? I also take off the (fitted) sheet.
Lubavitch
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Ema of 5
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:48 am
| amother wrote: | I wear tznius nightgown, (till the floor cuz I can't be bothered wearing socks and I would put on if it was shorter) I also don't get dressed straight away in the morning so I hang around for a few hours like this and would not feel comfortable if it wasn't tznius.
I'm also curious, I change out if my white nightgown before I leave my room, doesn't anyone else? I also take off the (fitted) sheet.
Lubavitch |
I don’t wear a white night gown, and I don’t use white sheets.
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amother
Jade
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:49 am
I have worn nightgowns for all of my adult life (nearly 50 now) and would feel uncomfortable in anything else. In the winter-warm ones with leggings, in the summer - at least some sort of sleeve and at least to the knee. I'd rather not wear ones that are cut out, but I find them very hard to find. If I know I will encounter my 17 year old son while wearing a cut out/scoop neck nightgown, I will put my hand above my chest to cover as much as possible. That is to make him comfortable as well as me. I don't care that he sees me in short sleeves or that my knees are uncovered. I do not cover my hair in the home.
I learned early on in my marriage that my DH had gone around at home, in front of his mother, just wearing undershirt and underwear (not tight fitting briefs, but still.) When I discovered this when we were there one Shabbos, I told him that is not proper, imo, and he never did it again. His mother noticed and questioned him about it! lol. She herself is not particularly modest (clothing-wise)around family which kinda freaks me out.
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momsrus
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:52 am
| nchr wrote: | | We even were socks in front of our boys so totally tznius but for many a sports bra is not lingerie and is just work out attire and can be worn in public etc. |
Seriously? A lot of things “can” be worn in public, but shouldn’t.
A sports bra is not Tsnius but any stretch of the imagination.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:52 am
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I wouldn't change a whitz nightgown or sheet
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momsrus
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:53 am
| mommy3b2c wrote: | | None of my pjs or nightgowns are close to being modest. Lately I wear a sports bra and leggings a lot. Yes I have boys. Yes they see me in all my immodest attire. No, I don’t care. They are my kids. There’s no reason to be tznius in front of them. |
Chinuch and eidelkeit if nothing else
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Mommyg8
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:56 am
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I started wearing tznius nightgowns when my boys got older. I like being able to walk around the house in my nightgown.
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amother
Mint
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 9:57 am
| amother wrote: | I wear tznius nightgown, (till the floor cuz I can't be bothered wearing socks and I would put on if it was shorter) I also don't get dressed straight away in the morning so I hang around for a few hours like this and would not feel comfortable if it wasn't tznius.
I'm also curious, I change out if my white nightgown before I leave my room, doesn't anyone else? I also take off the (fitted) sheet.
Lubavitch |
Same
Except I leave the sheet on until the week is up.
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pesek zman
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:02 am
| momsrus wrote: | [/b]
Chinuch and eidelkeit if nothing else |
I only have girl. I let her see me in a nightgown (straps, above the knee, not lingerie) Chinuch to me is teaching her private vs public. Inside the home vs outside the home. I don’t cover my hair in my home (when it’s just us) and I don’t dress inside (when it’s just us) to the standards that I hold outside. What and how we are mechanech our children is different for everyone.
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keym
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:03 am
I wear a long sleeve baggy sweatshirt or cotton shirt (depending on season) with sweatpants. When I'm nursing, I tend to wear nightgowns with buttons for access. My snood and a slinky skirt are right next to my bed. If I have to leave my bed (get my minyan boy on the bus, nightmare, whatever) I throw on the skirt and snood. But I'm covered enough that if a kid comes in my room, its not a problem.
When I'm wearing any nightgown or lingerie that's revealing, I lock my door.
In general, our rule for kids once they hit 6 is that girls can't leave their room without sleeves to elbows and skirts to knees and can't come downstairs without socks.
And boys can't leave their room without a T-shirt and shorts or bathing suit.
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amother
Hotpink
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:04 am
| icebreaker wrote: | | Nope. Sometimes I sleep in a tank top and underwear lol. Usually it’s tank top and shorts. |
In the winter?
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