I totally get it. You need to do what is right for your family. I was just reacting to the Op of this thread framing adhd as a tragedy. Its definitely a challenge don't get me wrong. But it really depends how it plays out.
I would say this. The way it's worked out for us, ADHD has been a maileh for both of us professionally and also a maileh for the fun, creative parts of parenting. Where it's been a huge chisaron has been on the practical, organizational aspects of parenting. I guess we shall see how it works out for the kids. One of them has the inattentive type (like me) and the others have the hyperactive type (like dh). It really does look different for everyone, and it's hard to tell at these younger ages which side of the ADHD coin is going to be the strength and which will be the struggle.