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Cleaning help and not working.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:00 pm
Why do I feel so guilty that I have cleaning help 3times a week and not working. My youngest is in school already.
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cnc




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:01 pm
If you can afford it, then no reason to feel guilty.
Everyone has their priorities.
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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:02 pm
Maybe because some women on Imamother that can't fargin others some luxury put you on this guilt trip?
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justmarried:)




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:02 pm
Don’t feel guilty. Not everyone is able to clean.
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PinkFridge




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:03 pm
We don't know your life.
You may be very wealthy. And not just that, but noblesse oblige and you may have some serious community obligations that take up your time and you need to have a spotless house for the last minute parlor meeting or whatever.

Or maybe you're not wealthy but you can afford it, it makes your life run smoothly, your husband is totally on board...

Or other.

No guilt from my direction.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:04 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Maybe because some women on Imamother that can't fargin others some luxury put you on this guilt trip?

You explained it well and BH I can afford it.
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amother




Bronze


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:19 pm
No reason to feel guilty! You're not taking anything away from anyone....
Just don't flaunt it.
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amother




Chocolate


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:33 pm
Zero guilt! I've both worked and stayed home, and the full time cleaning help never changed no matter the situation. I have ADHD and I'm terrible at housekeeping, so I outsource it. I am fortunate to be able to afford to do so full time, whether or not I'm working. Nothing wrong with making your life easier if you can so long as you're not violating halacha. There's no mitzvah in the Torah to do everything yourself.
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amother




Smokey


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:49 pm
I don't work and have cleaning help. DH likes a spotless house, and I don't want to dedicate my life to my house. The house is too big, and I am too bored doing the same thing over and over again. No guilt here.
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amother




Red


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:53 pm
I don’t work and I sometimes feel guilty when I have full time cleaning and babysitting because I feel like why can’t I do it myself and it is a big expense even though I can afford it but then I tell myself I don’t have it all the time only when I need it and nothing is wrong with that. Even when I have time/energy to clean I don’t know how. I always do my own laundry. Everyone has strengths and weakness and cleaning isn’t my specialty. But I do have very high standards for my home and enjoy a very clean house.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 5:53 pm
Please! I can't afford it (yet Very Happy ) but would love to one day have full time cleaning help regardless of my work status. I function much, much better in a very clean and organized environment, but that doesn't mean I need to spend my own time cleaning and organizing. Well, now I do, but hopefully not forever.
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flowerpower




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:15 pm
Why would you feel guilty if you can afford it????
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amother




Cerulean


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:18 pm
For those commenting about affording it I would suggest that one could consider giving more tzadakah. If one feels they need it, then go ahead. I do, but I do what I can too and I can BH afford lots of help. Just a thought.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:19 pm
amother wrote:
For those commenting about affording it I would suggest that one could consider giving more tzadakah. If one feels they need it, then go ahead. I do, but I do what I can too and I can BH afford lots of help. Just a thought.


Sometimes it's also tzedaka to spend on your own family. Not for everyone, but sometimes.
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amother




Seashell


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:20 pm
amother wrote:
Why do I feel so guilty that I have cleaning help 3times a week and not working. My youngest is in school already.


Because you are phrasing it as "help".

We don't hire accountant "help", or lawyer "help", or get haircut "help", or manicure "help".

You're hiring a person to clean your house.
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OutATowner




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:21 pm
You shouldn't feel guilty. If I'm jealous of you that's my problem. I'm sure there are things in my life that other people are jealous of.
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amother




Wheat


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:21 pm
I dont work mo kids home (actually I do some work from home that is messy) and I dont fargin myself help because technically I should be able to clean. But I am not good at it and it is affecting me to feel like as much as I clean I still live in a mess.
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amother




Copper


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 6:37 pm
I also feel bad having help when I’m not working. It depends how you are raised, my mom is a balabusta and always managed without help. So I feel guilty.

Having full time help while not working is hard for me to understand. And by Imamother standards we are rich.
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amother




Goldenrod


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:13 pm
Juat so curious- what does afford mean? Like, you have extra each month after the help?
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Mommyg8




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Feb 07 2019, 7:43 pm
amother wrote:
Please! I can't afford it (yet Very Happy ) but would love to one day have full time cleaning help regardless of my work status. I function much, much better in a very clean and organized environment, but that doesn't mean I need to spend my own time cleaning and organizing. Well, now I do, but hopefully not forever.


Oh I totally agree! It's always been my dream to have full time help, though it doesn't look like it's ever going to happen in this lifetime Smile.

And I agree that you can't live your life based on other people's jealousy. Jealous people will always find something to be jealous about no matter who you are and what you do.
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