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Not Interested in Purim - Would you go away?

 
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 8:33 pm
I am not intrested in dealing with Purim. I am not sure why. I hate the running around the whole day and then all the garbage candy to get rid of. Some past years my husband ran around with kids in morning while I waited for people to come and then we all went out together. This Purim we only have one child home that is in High School. Would you pick yourself up with you child and husband and make vacation out of Purim weekend or you would just stay home and have your child run around with friends Purim night. Any ideas?
I also hate the feel that you constantly have to go to certain people’s home every year but they will ever come to you. And if you skip them they get upset.
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amother




Rose


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 8:37 pm
amother wrote:
I am not intrested in dealing with Purim. I am not sure why. I hate the running around the whole day and then all the garbage candy to get rid of. Some past years my husband ran around with kids in morning while I waited for people to come and then we all went out together. This Purim we only have one child home that is in High School. Would you pick yourself up with you child and husband and make vacation out of Purim weekend or you would just stay home and have your child run around with friends Purim night. Any ideas?
I also hate the feel that you constantly have to go to certain people’s home every year but they will ever come to you. And if you skip them they get upset.


I would take the highschooler's opinion very seriously.

But does highschooler have a good friend that highschooler can stay with - and you and Dh go away?
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trixx




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 8:38 pm
A kid in high school is old enough to decide if they want to be home for purim or not. As for you, leave town if you want. What's the big deal if there are no little kids home to miss out? Purim is a yom Tov. Do what makes you happy.
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chicco




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 8:41 pm
If you are all ok with going away- go for it, but if not, maybe try a different approach. Do what you want to do the way you want to do it, and respectfully. After that, let the other people deal with it. You can't micromanage your life and literally run away because people will be unjustly upset at you.

I totally get how you feel.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 9:48 pm
We go away often- Miami, skiing etc. to a place that will have a minyan and a seuda we can join.
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Gerbera




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 10:18 pm
We went away last year and we have a bunch of little kids. Was the best thing ever! We had a great day - it's always so stressful I find being home - hours delivering in the car...kids getting upset they didn't receive as much as their sibling did etc. Was much easier on me not packaging so many. I would do it every year!
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 10:48 pm
amother wrote:
We go away often- Miami, skiing etc. to a place that will have a minyan and a seuda we can join.

How old are your kids?
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 10:50 pm
amother wrote:
I would take the highschooler's opinion very seriously.

But does highschooler have a good friend that highschooler can stay with - and you and Dh go away?


The problem is he might not feel comfortable at another family seudah?
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Rappel




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Feb 09 2019, 10:54 pm
amother wrote:
The problem is he might not feel comfortable at another family seudah?


He might want to run around with his friends and "do the whole Purim thing."

I don't think I stuck with my parents from aged 12 and on during Purim. I would just find them wherever they were doing their seudah late afternoon. (And this was without a cell phone!)
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bobeli




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 9:26 am
Where did you go away to?
Are there any programs?
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:08 am
I used to really dislike Purim and thought about going away until I sat down and figured out what parts of it were making me so unhappy and what I could change. I turned it around and now I almost enjoy it! Try that first.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:17 am
amother wrote:
How old are your kids?


Teens from age 14- 21

There’s also the element of one of the boys being in a bit of a trouble spot- we didn’t want him hanging out with the wrong crowd or feeling left out etc. but once we did it once we were hooked:) we don’t do it every year depending on married kids etc. but we’ve done it for a couple of years.

In Miami the restaurant by tower 41 had a seuda, we stayed at a hotel and joined that. I’m sure the kosher hotel has a meal etc. we went to Switzerland one year and had a beautiful time but that was a bigger planned trip.
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Simple1




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:24 am
I was considering doing this. We don't have anyone who will join us for the seuda, so it's a lot of running around (mostly to teachers) and then it's dull and boring after 2:00. But going away is not practical for us, so it's not going to happen. And some of my kids think it's weird to just pick up and go away.

Last edited by Simple1 on Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:26 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:25 am
amother wrote:
I used to really dislike Purim and thought about going away until I sat down and figured out what parts of it were making me so unhappy and what I could change. I turned it around and now I almost enjoy it! Try that first.

What did you do to change it? When my kids were little I was extremely into Purim. Kids always dressed up to a theme and I prepared months in advance.
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amother




Scarlet


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:34 am
How old are your kids now?
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amother




Wine


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:55 am
where would you go?
we used to live near family so we would run away to family. Now that's a 10 hour drive Sad
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 2:08 pm
amother wrote:
How old are your kids now?

15, 18, 20, 21
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 2:10 pm
amother wrote:
where would you go?
we used to live near family so we would run away to family. Now that's a 10 hour drive Sad

We were thinking Miami because its a whole weekend. But how will my son feel without running around Purim night like his brothers did?
Any ideas of somewhere you can just disappear on Purim day?
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 6:45 pm
I used to not enjoy Purim because we don't have family to go to, so there was tons of stressful running around delivering MM and then a quiet boring seudah while everyone else in the neighborhood was having a blast. I started hosting people who needed a place for the Purim seudah, now I love it! Our seudah is lots of fun, we have a lot of quirky people coming which is good because our family is a bit quiet and boring, we needed livening up. Smile
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