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Gifted children
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:05 am
I don't need them to do anything, or to allow her to be disruptive. I need them to not pick on little things which annoy them personally.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:05 am
It is impossible to tell from your posts whether that is the only issue or if she's also having behavioral issues in addition to being very bright.

If she is not being disruptive, then why is the school complaining about it.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:07 am
ectomorph wrote:
It is impossible to tell from your posts whether that is the only issue or if she's also having behavioral issues in addition to being very bright.

If she is not being disruptive, then why is the school complaining about it.


It's a great question and the person who observed does not understand either. The words they use are "be like everyone else" and they really don't elaborate much, I posted some random examples they gave.
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amother
Crimson


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:19 am
amother wrote:
The reason I was thinking of testing is because they are coming up with reasons she is different and I would rather they not come up with a negative label and stick it to her.


I'm not an expert. The truth is that very little of what you described above meets the criteria of your daughter being gifted. Is she racing thru milestones early? Prefer the company of older children? Have an unusual amount of knowledge about certain subjests?

I think you're describing a unique child. I think you're reaching for a positive spin so you're labeling her gifted without much basis.
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amother
Gray


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:19 am
amother wrote:
I don't need them to do anything, or to allow her to be disruptive. I need them to not pick on little things which annoy them personally.


What are the little things that are annoying them?
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amother
Gray


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:22 am
amother wrote:
She only walks around during free activities but they prefer kids stick to one area. It's not really disturbing because everyone is moving around. She just doesn't go to a specific activity because she has done all of them and is now bored.


Can you buy some new toys for the classroom that would keep her engaged for longer periods?
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chicco




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:28 am
From what you are telling us, it does indeed seem like it is an issue with the school and not with your child. In which case, the logical next step would be a different school. The way you make it sound, a certified gifted label would not change how they interact with her.

But to be totally honest, aside from writing off the school, something doesn't add up. Just as there are typical behaviors for gifted children, there are also typical ways of avoiding such responses, or at the very least mitigating them. I would imagine your child isn't the first gifted one to grace their classroom. Is this how they respond to all advanced children?

I've had some teachers embrace gifted students better than others, but even for those not up to the challenge, they did not complain about the things that you have listed. Maybe testing is a good idea so that there is clarity on all sides what you are all dealing with.

Just make sure you understand what you are looking for. If you want to get to the bottom of an issue, you must investigate. But if you are totally sure that this is an issue of incomplete teachers not knowing how to handle a gifted child, it is time to go elsewhere.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:31 am
amother wrote:
She only walks around during free activities but they prefer kids stick to one area. It's not really disturbing because everyone is moving around. She just doesn't go to a specific activity because she has done all of them and is now bored.


But why should one child get to leave the area? All the children probably did all the activities already.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:35 am
amother wrote:
I'm not an expert. The truth is that very little of what you described above meets the criteria of your daughter being gifted. Is she racing thru milestones early? Prefer the company of older children? Have an unusual amount of knowledge about certain subjests?

I think you're describing a unique child. I think you're reaching for a positive spin so you're labeling her gifted without much basis.


I didn't describe the gifted parts because I didn't think it was relevant. She taught herself to read and write, does math in her head, has an incredible memory can remember very specific details, can tell over a story or recount a movie in great detail after hearing it once, she has a very high vocabulary, understands subjects way above age level, picks up random knowledge on her own etc... Everyone agrees that she's above age level intellectually

She get's pt so when we had her tested they automatically test for special ed and her evaluators said she was probably gifted.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:36 am
amother wrote:
But why should one child get to leave the area? All the children probably did all the activities already.


They can all leave the area. They just switch activities but she's bored by all of them so doesn't settle on one.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:49 am
ADHD, ODD, ASD children are very bright.
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yksraya




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:52 am
Bh my dd (almost 14) is gifted. She does have a hard time in school with some teachers. Most teachers love her because she always asks questions and raises her hands to participate. She always has what to add, things the teacher didn't even know of yet etc. But precisely this also gets her into trouble with some teachers as they feel inferior or they assume she tries to contradict them etc.

Some teachers take issue with her if she behaves like the rest of the girls. If she ever whispers to other girls or laughs etc, they take it more seriously than if a different kid did that. Which gets her into trouble sometimes.


She also has a habit of drawing or coloring during class if she feels bored. Which of course happens often as she knows the lesson and finds no interest etc. When she was younger they would give her extra work sheets or tell her to color. Now it's just out of habit. Some teachers understand her and encourage her nicely to put her stuff away, but some have an issue with it and it gets her into trouble.

I keep insisting she has to behave, not draw/color during session, be respectful etc. It's something she needs to work on. Just like the struggling girls need to work on class participation, she needs to work on staying well behaved etc.

Good luck and count your blessings. It's after all a really big blessing to have a gifted kid!
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 12:20 pm
My friend had two of her kids tested. Essentially she had one kid who was struggling with reading and they were having a hard time identifying why. She had a full evaluation done, which cost $7,500 and included IQ testing, evaluations etc. At the end she found out how to help the kid read but she also found out his IQ was estimated to he over 160. She had always considered this kid her dumb one and wanted to test her other child who appeared much smarter (I.e. was reading English and Hebrew by age 2 and a half 80% self taught, taught himself to play master chess at 3 and always beat the hardest levels, excelled at advanced math at age 6 did high school trig at age 10 etc.) So she tested him and found out he only had an average IQ. She regrets it until this day because her prodigy genius child went to being viewed as just average in her eyes and she's had trouble overcoming that until this day. She's thankful she tested the child who couldn't read though because he's learned how to and is excelling now. Basically, if it's to help you identify a problem for which there is treatment or assistance then testing makes sense, but otherwise you may be surprised to see that testing could just result in nothing and be detrimental. Its important for your daughter to learn to behave and fit in regardless of gifted status so maybe you should speak to professionals about how to get her to behave appropriately rather than testing to make her different.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 12:52 pm
It might not be the school. It might be the teacher.

Also, when there is an observer in the room, it changes the classroom dynamics.
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 12:59 pm
It sounds to me like it might be worth doing a full evaluation/ testing to find out if the behaviors are just because she's gifted and bored or there's something else at play IN ADDITION. There are many kids who are gifted but also have ASD/ADHD/ODD (not saying any of these is the case in your daughter!), but the parents are so focused on 1 aspect (either the positive or negative) that they miss the other side.
However, you will need to find someone REALLY GOOD to be able to pull apart the different aspects.
No matter what the results are, don't tell your daughter that she's gifted/brilliant. It will only increase the negative behaviors, and may put undue pressure on her.
No matter what the results are, DO start teaching your daughter respect and the lines of what behaviors are ok/not ok in the classroom, no matter how bored she is.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 1:40 pm
I had to, to skip a grade
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 2:53 pm
amother wrote:
She follows the routine well, and does very well socially. If the routine changes suddenly she'll ask questions about it, and they see this as being defiant. They keep telling me she stands out too much and needs to go with the flow. Ways she stands out, she is a deep thinker and when she is lost in thought they see it as sadness or withdrawal. She has a vivid imagination and they think the stories she shares aren't normal. When I question her about them she says, don't they know it's all pretend. If an activity is dragging out she gets bored and she'll either zone out lost in thought or walk around aimlessly looking for something else to do. None of these things disturb the class but they annoy the teachers and they question her or argue with her about them and then it always escalates and my daughter ends up in trouble for sticking to her guns. So obviously we are working on all that, but she came home the other day and said, that's it I don't care I'm just not going to let what they say bother me, or I don't care if they punish me and things like that. So I'm concerned because she seems to think hiding herself and not caring is the way to get through school. We have considered switching schools but not sure it will work out.


Crying Crying Crying
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amother
Red


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 4:47 pm
It's never too soon to teach her how to deal with boredom appropriately, especially if she is gifted. This may be a big part of her schooling for many years. And she will need this skill in the workplace too.
BTDT
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amother
Silver


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 5:44 pm
When I was a teacher for that age, I used to keep kids like that busy, helping teacher, doing errands, helping other kids that were struggling with crafts, instructions, worksheets if they finished their work too fast. We also had a library corner for kids that were done, to engage in looking at books or reading quietly not to disrupt class. My lessons were very hands on & interactive so lot of moving around. Changing activities often. Sitting lessons I kept interesting by dressing up, having kids act the part, picking different kids for each activity. Not letting drag on. Max for sitting at lesson at once 15-20 minutes because children this age dont have long attention spans.
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amother
Mint


 

Post Sun, Feb 10 2019, 6:27 pm
I have a daughter that was similar. My daughter learned to keep her mouth shut, and was able to get along much better. She switched to a different school for high school, where her intellectual curiosity was appreciated. She is now happily ensconced in medical school (so it can/does get better). I nurtured her interests independently of the rigid school system. You should also be aware of what they call "twice exceptional" children. You might want to Google it. That is when very high IQ children have other issues (like ADHD, etc). It is challenging to raise such children, because they have issues, but will not qualify for services because they are academically gifted. I would definitely try and see if I could find a school that might be more supportive. Best if luck.
.
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