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What's it like to have normal children?
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amother




Indigo


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 6:51 pm
Does anyone here actually have normal children?

What's it like?
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Rachel Shira




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 6:53 pm
What do you mean by normal?
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amother




Indigo


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 6:57 pm
Good question and I don't know the answer.

But I'm reading thread after thread about ADHD, ASD, gifted, etc etc and I'm wondering if anyone here actually has "normal" kids.

All my kid are Twice Exceptional.(2E).
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rainbow dash




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 6:57 pm
Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.
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ectomorph




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:03 pm
rainbow dash wrote:
Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.

This. Adhd is normal. Kids have normal variations
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amother




Gray


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:03 pm
I have one typical and one not. And the atypical one wasn't always that way. Yes, there are clear differences. And just because issues are common, doesn't mean they are normal.
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amother




Papaya


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:11 pm
Even "typical" kids have various issues, they just don't always fit into categories with labels. Then again, there are also "easy" kids (hate that term) whose issues are pretty minor.
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amother




Blonde


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:12 pm
.
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amother




Ginger


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:13 pm
amother wrote:
Good question and I don't know the answer.

But I'm reading thread after thread about ADHD, ASD, gifted, etc etc and I'm wondering if anyone here actually has "normal" kids.

All my kid are Twice Exceptional.(2E).


What does that mean?
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cm




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:15 pm
You also don't see many posts about healthy, happy marriages and family relationships. That doesn't mean they don't exist. About kids, though - I see plenty of posts about ordinary child-rearing challenges. I haven't counted to see the breakdown, though.
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flowerpower




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:20 pm
I have healthy children bh. They fight, cry, make a mess, struggle with bedtime, spill things( on purpose and by mistake), throw tantrums, keep procrastinating when it comes to homework, need constant reminders to clean up after themselves.... but they give me a ton of naches all in their own ways.

Last edited by flowerpower on Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Indigo


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:20 pm
amother wrote:
What does that mean?


It's a nice way of saying they are exceptionally academically bright but with enormous emotional challenges.

Medically they are called Autistic.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:28 pm
My definition of normal is a kid for whom the things they teach you in regular parenting classes actually work. When my ASD kid was being diagnosed, the professionals explained that "normal" kids typically cultivate and establish a habit or routine after about 3 weeks to a month, and the typical ASD kid takes at least 3 to 4 times that, often more. We had habits that took 3-4 years.

I had to relearn to parent my subsequent normal kids. I had tried so many things I was taught and discarded them because they didn't work. So when the next one came along, I didn't even try them. But once I understood my oldest, I tried the normal parenting for the normal kid and it worked! Yes, kid 2 has her own issues, including being sensory (what's it like to be able to just put music and have kids still be able to function?). But general functionality is a world of difference.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:33 pm
amother wrote:
My definition of normal is a kid for whom the things they teach you in regular parenting classes actually work. When my ASD kid was being diagnosed, the professionals explained that "normal" kids typically cultivate and establish a habit or routine after about 3 weeks to a month, and the typical ASD kid takes at least 3 to 4 times that, often more. We had habits that took 3-4 years.

I had to relearn to parent my subsequent normal kids. I had tried so many things I was taught and discarded them because they didn't work. So when the next one came along, I didn't even try them. But once I understood my oldest, I tried the normal parenting for the normal kid and it worked! Yes, kid 2 has her own issues, including being sensory (what's it like to be able to just put music and have kids still be able to function?). But general functionality is a world of difference.


Thanks that was great.
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amother




Saddlebrown


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:50 pm
I sometimes wonder if all kids come with their "peckel". That peckel may not be autism, adhd... but it can also be a medical issue which is still a peckel. My oldest needed to have eye surgery twice very young, glasses very young and later vision therapy. She later broke her leg and need pt, she had some sensory integration, concentration stuff so she also got OT... I felt like I was running from therapy to therapy, every day a different therapy but she would probably be considered "normal."

My next child is 4 1/2, still in diapers and is on medication to help her to go to the bathroom She's bright and sociable- so probably "normal" behaviorally but we are still running around trying to get her the help she needs. I do wonder if there are kids who don't require so many appointments...

about the music- that's me- I have a hard time functioning in the morning especially with music playing. It's a big problem.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:54 pm
Saddlebrown, I have definitely heard the same distinction between medically complicated kids and kids who are not.
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amother




Chartreuse


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 7:57 pm
This seems to be mocking the other threads IMO
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amother




Indigo


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 8:07 pm
amother wrote:
This seems to be mocking the other threads IMO


It's not meant to be mocking any other threads.

It's just a question. Are there more "difficult" kids now? If your kids.don't have big issues, what's it like?

For.me, at the moment

I never know which kids will make it.to school on time and which will need to be driven
I never know if my DH will be able to.get to work on time
I never know who or when will be the next meltdown, or how long it will last, or if I will be able to contain it or it will set somebody else off
I have lots of appointments for the kids and tons of.emails to.write about them to.school and professionals
I can not leave them with a.babysitter
My DH and I can go out together only a couple of times a year

How common is this?
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amother




Cerise


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 8:17 pm
Indigo, probably more common than you realize. But most people can go to work for the day assuming that the odds are they can finish out their workday without a phone call that they have begun to greet more with resignation than dread. Contemporary psychology apparently calls living the way you are describing (as so many of us do or have done) as being in a consistent state of trauma. You react more than you act. It's a completely different existence.

You will iy"H come out of it at some point, and life will become more predictable, but it may be in different ways and for different reasons. My climbing-the-walls ds now spends his discretionary time sitting in front of a video game screen. It's just as not-good for him, but allows me to leave the room he's in, which allows me peace of mind. Sometimes you have to take the peace where you find it.
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amother




Wine


Post  Sun, Feb 10 2019, 8:18 pm
I don't know yet either, I do wonder though what it's like for others with regular kids
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