RANT it's his kid too

chicco

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 8:05 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Words have meaning, and context is everything.

I agree that it indicates subconscious thinking, and does affect the next generation.

I get so annoyed when I read an article about how amazing a single dad is (usually of one kid), while a single mom of many kids is just another day. Unless that dad is breastfeeding, he's just doing what any other single parent does. He parents.

How do you feel about the articles about women who have climbed to the top of the business world? There is always a giant fuss that wouldn't be made if it was a man. I think people generally react strongly when a man or a woman succeeds in an area that is not traditional for his or her gender. Sure, everyone should be capable in all areas, but the reality is- different things come naturally for most men and women, and when either of them broadens their capabilities, regardless of whom, it is impressive.

FranticFrummie

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 8:05 am

sushilover wrote:

So true. But wouldn't it be better to change things by pointing out how amazing every single parent is instead of minimizing the single dads?

I'm not minimizing anything, I just really dislike double standards.

I think single dads ARE awesome, because they step up and act like a real man, even though society standards are against them.

pause

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 8:13 am

Do none of you babysit your own kids?

My DH says it all the time. "DW can't come to the vachnacht because she's babysitting."

And to OP, when "I" talk, it's "my" child. When I talk about "us" then it's "our" child.

If I'm walking myself and pushing a baby in the stroller, I would ask someone "Did you see my baby yet?" Not, "our baby" because my significant other isn't there. I can just see the listener look around and wonder if there's an unseen ghost next to me. Or start to wonder if "our" refers to the listener and me. Confused

It's just weird.

Same on Imamother. I can't refer to something or someone as "our" when there's no "we" here.

simcha2

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 8:15 am

pause wrote:

And to OP, when "I" talk, it's "my" child. When I talk about "us" then it's "our" child.

If I'm walking myself and pushing a baby in the stroller, I would ask someone "Did you see my baby yet?" Not, "our baby" because my significant other isn't there. Same on Imamother. I can't refer to something or someone as "our" when there's no "we" here.

I think OP was referring to threads there they'll write "I don't like how DH parents my child".

FranticFrummie

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 8:16 am

pause wrote:

when "I" talk, it's "my" child. When I talk about "us" then it's "our" child.

This actually seems pretty grammatically correct. It flows better in a sentence. That's why I said that context is everything.

flowerpower

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 9:01 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

I'm not minimizing anything, I just really dislike double standards.

I think single dads ARE awesome, because they step up and act like a real man, even though society standards are against them.

In my very humble little opinion I think it’s because motherhood comes natural to most women. They can multi task much better than men and can handle much more when it comes to parenting. If I left dh with a screaming newborn and a few other kids that need baths, homework, dinner, and bedtime... chances are that he will not handle it. Yet most women do it alone every single night. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

zaq

Fri, Feb 15 2019, 9:12 am

Ravenclaw wrote:

I disagree. I think word choice can tell us a lot about our subconscious beliefs. It can give you a lot of insight into a situation if you ask me.

Exactly. And when you say a dad is babysitting, it’s announcing loud and clear that he’s going above and beyond into a realm that is not his own.

keym

Tue, Feb 19 2019, 10:38 am

In our family "babysitting" is the word choice for "adult watching kids in the evening/night". Regardless of who does it.
Sometimes we hire a teenager to babysit, when I have to go out my husband babysits, and when my husband goes out, I babysit.

And yeah, when they're good, they're "my" kids. When they're monstets, they're "his" kids.