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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
When u can’t afford the help your child needs.



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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 9:51 am
I have a nice, friendly, sweet girl. She is extremely behind in school. Whatever help the school gives its not enough. She needs professional tutoring, vision therapy etc etc. however we can’t afford that. We have an appointment for an evaluation and it’s $1000. Plus whatever the tutoring ll cost us.
I don’t know where I’m coming with that money from. ( I’m writing a check and leaving up to Hashem)
I try my best to show her that academics are not important. BH she seems to understand that and socially she is doing fine.
My question is: how does a child end up if we can’t afford the help she needs? I do understand that some ppl that did terrible in school end up functional and emotionally stable adults
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 9:59 am
I know it's hard, but a few small ideas:
If highschools in your area have a Chessed requirement, see if you can get a highschooler to tutor for free, OR if you can have a college student training in special ed do it for a lower rate.
Check out what your insurance covers in terms of therapies and if there is an insurance that will cover what she needs, it may be worth upgrading.
Talk to the school about modifying her program- I.e. knocking off a few classes and giving her extra study hall/ resource room instead.

In terms of how the kid comes out, depends on the child and the circumstances. Some just roll with it, but some take a major hit on their self esteem.
Hatzlacha.
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amother
Green


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:01 am
What a difficult predicament. On one hand you love your child and want to do everything possible to help her succeed. You've identified things that will help her but can't afford them. Is there a lesser amount that perhaps you could afford? In other words instead of vision therapy and tutoring, give her only one and with someone who is not as experienced and perhaps a bit cheaper.
I'm not sure if you meant it literally, but I don't think it's a good idea to give someone a check for $1000 that can be deposited the same day if you don't have it in your bank account. It's good to have faith in hashem, but that would come pretty close to relying on a miracle. Wishing you the best and hoping this all works out.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:03 am
Following... same issue here
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:03 am
Mt Sinai and Columbia have clinics that accept insurance for evaluations. It takes months to get appointments but it's worthwhile if you can't afford it otherwise.
Sara Schenirer Seminary has a free Sunday reading tutoring program.
Is it possible to sign up with a high school for a 9th grader to do homework with your daughter as part of a chesed program?
Hug
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:13 am
It doesn't pay to get a cheap evaluation-neuropsychologists take $3000 but they can give you a diagnosis and instructions to follow so you can target what she needs and not waste money on things that are just bandages. Tutors are generally just so a child can keep up in school but often don't change anything. I like the idea of having the teacher make modifications so she is responsible for less work.
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aricelli




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:23 am
Just sending hugs even if I have no ideas- I know the feeling ...
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meyerlemon44




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:26 am
What diagnoses does she have?
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:30 am
One small thing to add, as a teacher.
We understand if you can't get your child a tutor, but please please please show us that you're putting as much effort into working with your child and reviewing with her at home as we are at school. It's very hard to be the only ones investing time into a kid and not seeing follow through at home.
If she's bringing home too much work, definitely ask about a modified program, it's one of the easiest accommodations to make. Yes, we're not fixing the problem when we do it, but we are allowing the child to feel successful and invest her effort into smaller tasks.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:34 am
does your daughter have an IEP or is that what the evaluation is for?
What type of services does the government offer, if any?

are there any "grants" where you live? I know someone who's kid got diagnosed and she would get a certain amount of money to spend on tutors and the like. This is in Ohio but to give you an idea http://education.ohio.gov/Topi.....rship

when you say you are writing a check and you are leaving it up to Hashem, are you saying the check might bounce? I don't think thats such a good idea...
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 10:53 am
Does the school not provide you with any sort of testing once a child is performing significantly below grade level?

Have you had conferences with the teacher(s) to get their input into what the issues are? I can't imagine a trained teacher wouldn't be able to provide some insight in terms of what needs to be done?

Also you mentioned "vision therapy"? What exactly do you mean by that? Has she been diagnosed as dyslexic which isn't really a vision issue per se or does she have actual vision issues in terms of being near or far sighted? Has her hearing been tested? These are very obvious issues which often cause learning issues. If she is near or far sighted, a pair of glasses is much more effective than vision therapy.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 11:41 am
So many hugs to you. I wish I had answers. I work in a school and sometimes we have students who are seriously struggling, they have many needs that are not being met, and the parents simply don't have the resources ($$$) to pay for all the therapies required. I'm not in NY/NJ and the options aren't really there. It's so hard. Just wanted to say that I sympathize. In terms of how the child is affected, I've seen a range. Sometimes they're able to put aside their challenges and feel successful in other areas. Sometimes their challenges affect them in so many areas (social, emotional, academic) that their sense of self worth really takes a hit. I encourage you to pursue whatever free or low cost resources are available to you.
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 11:48 am
You can count me in with this dilemma. I totally understand this financial predicament. I'm in the same place. Can't afford the help I need for DS. It's very challenging.
I reached out to Bikur Cholims and got something towards therapy. Far from anough but some pennies for private tutor...
We did stop the private tutor for lack of funds. We did many evaluations for mucho mucho money, regardless if we have it. This child needs to be helped.
The evaluations at the Hospital were not helpful at all.
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sim




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 11:52 am
I think you're amazing parents for trying to do all you can to help your child.
In my area, sometimes the local Jewish Federation will give grants for remedial tutoring and evaluation. It might be worth a try...
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pecan




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 12:05 pm
Not easy. I've done it and am still doing it with credit cards.
It's important for you to do extensive research to figure out what is a waste of time and money and what is not. Vision therapy does not help dyslexia, for dyslexia you need a multisensory reading specialist. You can research the studies yourself.
Before spending money on intervention, make sure outside studies support this type of intervention.
And for full evaluations, a place like NYU can have a cheaper option.
And the right intervention now can make more sense than waiting until she has lost her self esteem and needs much more help. Cheaper to address issues effectively now.
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Strudel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 1:29 pm
I hear you OP. My daughter has many issues but as a single mother I just can't afford to give her the help she needs.
However, I'm in one of the therapies and often get asked questions by other parents.
I'm amazed these days as what's available online. Worksheets, videos etc. Get an evaluation to fully understand the issues and then access the wealth of information found online.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Sun, Feb 17 2019, 1:41 pm
I’m in a similar boat. I have one child whom we have no choice but to spend a lot of money on- therapies, medication, etc. I have a second child who needs an eval and probably therapy, but the issues are not manifesting in school, so the DOE won’t give services. I can’t even go for an eval, because I can’t afford that!!! The issues are not academic, so there is really nothing the school can do, except offer talking therapy, and they have no one available at this time. I feel like I’m doing such a disservice, but I don’t have a choice, unless I go through my insurance, and most people who take insurance are not worth the copay.
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