Breathe-- mini serial in mishpacha

ruchelbuckle

Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:04 pm

not developed enough, nice idea, but way too rushed!! did anyone else think that?

Also, did anyone else catch the reference to Uncle Max, who owns a farm in the Catskills? Not sure why that was mentioned if it wasn't going to be developed further. (I'm guessing that Beth's uncle Max is Max Yasgur, who actually owned a farm in Bethel where the festival was held. Max Yasgur allowed the festival to be held on his property after a number of others said no).

amother

Taupe

Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:07 pm

I loved the first two installments, but agree that the last one was kind of rushed. I generally love the way the author writes, especially short stories.

batya315

Sun, Feb 17 2019, 5:13 pm

Totally agree.
I was thinking what a waste of such a rich setting - on a story in which not enough happened.

ssspectacular

Sun, Feb 17 2019, 7:11 pm

It was very well written. Not typical for a heimishe magazine.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Feb 17 2019, 8:06 pm

I thought uncle max was where Beth was originally supposed to go to no?

Frummommy138

Sun, Feb 17 2019, 8:12 pm

Loved it. Very well written and deep. Bought out a lot in few words.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 4:16 pm

ruchelbuckle wrote:

So interesting this just popped up when I was reading something else on here....I don't come on here that often and never saw this! I'm the author and wrote Breathe as a short story, but it was too long so we kind of just turned it into a mini serial. I agree that it prob should have ran as a short story and not a serial, as that's what it was intended to be and people expect a novelish length story to sink into when they see 'serial'! Just had to comment because I'm so impressed someone noticed the uncle Max reference. I'm guessing you are literally the ONLY one!! ( I do have one short story that I've already written and some ideas for future stories that tie into Breathe and create a much larger picture, as this was just a slice of a greater story. Hopefully I'll get the chance to write them one day. )

amother

Taupe

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 4:20 pm

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

I hope you read what I wrote earlier in the thread! I love your work.

amother

Royalblue

Sun, Jun 23 2019, 4:24 pm

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

I hope you read what I wrote earlier in the thread! I love your work.

Thank you!