How much did your chassone cost?

amother

Papaya

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 7:45 am

amother wrote:

Read a few pages up thread when the same poster has a similar (disproportionate and rude) response to my post.

I just did. Agreed
Amother Slategrey you are very judgy

Take a chill pill 🥶

amother

Lilac

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 10:17 am

Raisin wrote:

Like what? It actually makes me sad to think people who can afford it otherwise are depriving themselves of things so that they can make a fancy wedding for their kids. Enjoy life.

If somebody can afford to live nicely, provide for their kids, AND spend $200000 on a wedding, go ahead. But please, don't buy second hand clothing and skimp on camp for your kids to save for one night.

Things they don’t believe in- luxury cars or hotels or flying first class, Uber lux designer clothing etc.

Bh they never had to make harder choices but they shouldn’t be judged. I didn’t mean to imply that people who earn substantially less can also make those kind of weddings by scrimping and I don’t think of it as a value .

Also, my high wedding cost was mostly due to things like volume- there were many many people invited and my parents wanted the food to be generous but there were no big showy upgrades (lighting, open bar, famous singers) that many people in our circle have. Shabbos Sheba b was beautifully done in a shul near my house but my parents paid for upgraded accommodation for some of the guests.
That’s why it wasn’t 200k but definitely not 30k either and I believe that poster is more representative of ppl making weddings in the circles I grew up in.

amother

Blue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 11:23 am

amother wrote:

Hi,

A friend of mine said her chasuna was costing 40k! Very expensive makes me curious how much your chassuna cost.
Please tell also what you are (yeshivish/chassidish/MO) cause I think that is also very depending on the cost and were (I think Amsterdam would be more expensive then Boro Park for instance)

The correct response is MAZEL TOV, not "gosh, that's a lot of money."

I haven't made a wedding yet, but in my area, that would be at the low end of the cost for a wedding.

One wedding venue known to be at the lower end charges between $125 and $300 per person. Assuming that you're not going lowest (or highest) end, for 250 people, that's over $40,000 to start for venue, food and linens. Even at the lowest end, its more than $30,000.

Add in the band, photographer, ketuba, rabbi, dress, flowers, makeup, tuxes, chuppa -- you're well over $50,000.

amother

Blue

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 11:37 am

amother wrote:

No I’m not actually. I’m actually quite grateful. My wedding was NOT at all over the top. No one left my wedding saying it was the nicest/fanciest/etc they’ve been to, but if you get married in NY and don’t want to get married in a BP basement hall that’s what it costs.

Amother, I get you.

The fact is that in my circles, and where I live, that's a moderately priced, decent wedding. Not even close to over the top.

Throw stones if you want, but that's just plain old what things cost.

I've been to over the top weddings that cost well over $100,000, maybe even close to $200,000.

I'd love to know how anyone can cater a wedding for $20 a person including venue, linens, all food, liquor and staff, unless you're serving hot dogs and popcorn. I'm married 25 years, and even back then, it was at least $75 per person.

amother

Linen

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 12:02 pm

Op it’s hard to judge.
In my community the weddings are VERY large
500+ ppl.
For one ☝️ f my kids they set up 800 chairs for the chupah.
I asked if we really need that many chairs
I asked for 500.
When the wedding procession started there must have been at least 100 ppl standing

1st DD-$65k split between both sides
2nd DD $100K only paid by us
3rd DS $65K other side gave $20K
Chassuna only

This is not considered extravagant in our circles.

Plus we could afford it for the most part.
For 2nd DD we got a loan from a dear friend that was paid back in 1 yr.

I was at one wedding in my community that the parents must have spent over $150,000 in flowers alone. Now that’s extravagant

amother

Linen

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 12:11 pm

amother wrote:

I disagree. Those people usually get a house or apartment aswell.
Also I know a family who spent loads of money on their kids weddings but they gave the exact same amount to a different kallah as tzedaka (or to several kallahs since it was tons of money).

Yup we did that
I also do that for all my YT expenses

amother

Linen

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 4:31 pm

amother wrote:

linen- why did you have to pay so much more for dd2's wedding?

The custom of the boy’s family is the girls side pays for the wedding.
The boys side puts a down payment on a house. I’m not complaining

amother

Plum

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 4:56 pm

I don't actually know, as it was parents/ils who paid for it, but if I had to guess, I'd say it was in the 50k range. I felt that was over the top and not at all to do with anything I wanted. I had no say in anything except my dress and I did nothing for the wedding except show up. Oh well. It was important to our parents to have a fancy wedding, so they made one.

We once attended a million dollar wedding. It was quite an experience. I don't judge the family, good for them.

Raisin

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 5:07 pm

amother wrote:

Lol I think we can all live quite happily without first class travel, luxury cars or hotels, and designer stuff. Your parents sound like they have their priorities right.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:43 pm

amother wrote:

We once attended a million dollar wedding. It was quite an experience. I don't judge the family, good for them.

Where was this million dollar wedding, and what did they have and how many guests that made it so expensive?

amother

Plum

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 7:15 pm

amother wrote:

Where was this million dollar wedding, and what did they have and how many guests that made it so expensive?

Don't want to give too many details, but it was a destination wedding in a fancy resort area, they had over 1,000 guests, the food included some very expensive items (like the kosher equivalent of wagyu beef), the cake was by a celebrity baker, the gowns custom designed by a well known designer, and more. It was like something out of Crazy Rich Asians.