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Have you used a name you don't love?
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Feb 21 2019, 3:13 pm
OP here. Thank you all for sharing your experiences.
amother wrote:
I did, recently. Not named after someone. Child is still a baby so I can't answer your last question about loving it or resenting it.
Is there a different name that you like more than the name dh loves?
Was the baby born yet? If not, is it possible that once the baby is born you'll decide either that the name fits this baby perfectly, or that you truly don't want to use the name for this baby?


Thank you this is a helpful post, cos it's most similar to my case... Good point about waiting until the baby is born. And we probably could come up with a different name but I know my dh really loves this name and he'd be so happy.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Feb 21 2019, 3:14 pm
amother wrote:
Yes. Not a name I hate but just one I really don’t like but I learned to love it and it fits the child so well.


OP here. Thanks that's helpful and encouraging!
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amother




Coral


Post  Thu, Feb 21 2019, 3:44 pm
amother wrote:
OP here. Thank you all for sharing your experiences.
Thank you this is a helpful post, cos it's most similar to my case... Good point about waiting until the baby is born. And we probably could come up with a different name but I know my dh really loves this name and he'd be so happy.


My husband insisted on a particular name before my child was born. I kept saying, "No, no. I don't like that name at all." Together, we agreed upon a name.

The child was born, and suddenly, a few days after he was born, I decided I hated the name we had mutually agreed upon. And just as suddenly, I brainstormed a fantastic wonderful name! My husband said, "That's the name I originally wanted and you said you didn't like it!"

Don't even talk about names until the baby is born. That being said, two of my other children ( I guess three, if we're being honest) got names my husband liked and I didn't particularly care for. All the names that I thought I loved and always wanted to name my children are still up for grabs.
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 9:15 am
don't love you'll love it
but hate, you may not be able to reframe if there's a serious reason
I would use it as second etc or even ask a shaila
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amother




Azure


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 10:06 am
If you hate it - you may end up ok with it... but would your kid be ok with it? If its a (yiddish) name that people like making fun of - even if you instill pride in your kid for his name he may resent it.
Trust me- I’ve got one of those😞
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amother




Gold


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 10:18 am
I named my dd a name I don't like. It was my great-grandmothers name, I was very close to my grandmother, her daughter. I really didn't like the name, and we went through the entire family tree on all sides and we went through lists of names trying to pick something else, but I kept coming back to this one. It just felt like this was supposed to be her name.
We actually named her late because I was having such a hard time with the name. We should have named her Thursday, but we waited until Shabbos.

My dd is in her 20s, I still don't like the name, and I know she doesn't love it, but I don't feel like I made a mistake. I still feel like this was her name.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 10:30 am
I used a name because of its meaning, even though I don’t like it so much. It was also the name of my husbands grandparent. I don’t ever use the name, unless im super frustrated and yelling at my child. It is also not that child’s legal name- only the first name is.
I still don’t love it, I don’t think I ever will, but I’m used to it by now.
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Deenah




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 11:45 am
If its a weird or very different name and the child might feel self conscious about it I wouldn't give it. If you just don't love the name you'll probably learn to like it.
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amother




Olive


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 12:59 pm
amother wrote:
OP here. Thank you all for sharing your experiences.
Thank you this is a helpful post, cos it's most similar to my case... Good point about waiting until the baby is born. And we probably could come up with a different name but I know my dh really loves this name and he'd be so happy.


Hi, it's amother olive again. My advice (take it or leave it) is - if you like to discuss names before birth, see if you and dh can come up with another name (or more than one) that you both like (even if dh loves the other name more). That way you will have a list of options and after the baby is born, you and dh can make a final decision together.
(If you prefer to wait until after the baby is born to think of the name, of course that's fine too. But based on your posts it sounds like you prefer to discuss names beforehand.)
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simba




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 3:38 pm
I always switch the babies name on the day of naming no matter how many times it was discussed. Once I have the baby and connect to it I can make peace with a name. Otherwise it’s to theoretical for me and whatever we chose before just doesn’t work for me.
I have done a name for my dh that I don’t particularly like (read: dislike). It has grown on me and I can’t imagine it being any other way.
Names run very deep and connect to the soul.
I haven’t yet heard of anyone regretting a given name.


Last edited by simba on Sun, Feb 24 2019, 9:07 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother




Azure


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 3:57 pm
But I’ve heard of a person regretting that her mom gave her her given name... me!
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amother




Azure


Post  Fri, Feb 22 2019, 3:58 pm
And regretfully its not “azure”
That would have been kinder!
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amother




Olive


Post  Sun, Feb 24 2019, 3:13 pm
amother wrote:
I did, recently. Not named after someone. Child is still a baby so I can't answer your last question about loving it or resenting it.
Is there a different name that you like more than the name dh loves?
Was the baby born yet? If not, is it possible that once the baby is born you'll decide either that the name fits this baby perfectly, or that you truly don't want to use the name for this baby?


Amother olive here again. I realized I would be remiss if I didn't mention a few points in addition to the post above.
1- It is also possible that after the baby is born you still will have trouble deciding on the name. That is O.K. and normal too.
2- After the baby is named, don't regret your decision or obsess over whether you made the correct decision. "Ein simcha k'hataras hasfekos"
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Sun, Feb 24 2019, 3:21 pm
amother wrote:
Amother olive here again. I realized I would be remiss if I didn't mention a few points in addition to the post above.
1- It is also possible that after the baby is born you still will have trouble deciding on the name. That is O.K. and normal too.
2- After the baby is named, don't regret your decision or obsess over whether you made the correct decision. "Ein simcha k'hataras hasfekos"


OP here. Thanks for all your advice, it's very helpful. Im gonna wait until after the birth iyH and then see what feels right.

Thank you everyone for all your input
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amother




Olive


Post  Sun, Feb 24 2019, 3:31 pm
amother wrote:
OP here. Thanks for all your advice, it's very helpful. Im gonna wait until after the birth iyH and then see what feels right.

Thank you everyone for all your input


B'shaa tova!
Please update us after the birth and naming Smile
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Lesia




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 24 2019, 5:02 pm
We named after a grandfather. I didn’t love the name but didn’t hate it either.
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