Home

Weird hosting question
1, 2  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

View latest: 24h 48h 72h


amother




Bronze


Post  Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:24 pm
Ok, let's say you invite someone for a shabbos meal. She offers to bring something like a side dish, and you gratefully take her up on the offer. She makes a very generous amount and there are leftovers at the end of the meal. Do you send the leftovers home with her? Keep them? Ask her what she prefers?
Back to top

HappyGoLucky1




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:27 pm
I think I'd ask her what she prefers.
Back to top

giselle




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:40 pm
I often make food to bring to hosts. They always keep the leftovers.
Back to top

Optione




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:50 pm
I'd ask her preference (assuming she'll say keep it but still totally giving her the choice)
Back to top

heidi




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:52 pm
I always offer to send it home with her. I'm a little surprised when she actually agrees. LOL
Back to top

simba




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:54 pm
I wouldn’t offer to pack it go unless I didn’t want it!
Back to top

amother




Oak


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 12:16 am
I always ask if they want to take it home.
Back to top

vicki




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 3:26 am
As a guest I never take it home, as a hostess I offer the guest to take it home. They rarely accept.
Once, as a guest, the hostess pushed me to take it home, saying no one will be home during the week to eat it, so I did.
An exception might be Thanksgiving where we divvy up the leftovers for Shabbat.
Back to top

Israeli_C




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 3:42 am
heidi wrote:
I always offer to send it home with her. I'm a little surprised when she actually agrees. LOL


This. I once had vegan guests who I bent over backwards to accommodate, buying all kinds of ingredients I never usually keep in the house and researching recipes. The couple offered to bring a salad, and I gladly accepted. After the meal, part of the salad was left over and without saying anything and while I was clearing the table she pulled out a lunchbox, scooped the leftovers in and put it into the basket of her baby's pram. I found that bizarre.
Back to top

shabbatiscoming




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:28 am
If I know we will eat what they brought, I transfer it into one of our dishes, but if I know that we wont eat it at all, I tell them that and send it home with them. Never hard feelings.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 6:23 am
I'd never think of send them to her it would be bizarre
Back to top

tweety1




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 6:41 am
Prepare it in containers all ready packed up for her to take home.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 7:29 am
seriously? no? I'm not preparing leftovers for a guest?
Back to top

amother




Puce


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 7:35 am
Would someone bring you candy or chocolate, and expect you to send any leftovers home? Unless it's something you really won't use, or don't want I wouldnt't offer. The guest mght also feel insulted that you didn't like what they brought, if you send leftovers back with them. I recently brought 2 homemade challahs to a hostess. Only one was used. She offered to give the extra one to me. I told her it would be my pleasure if she froze it and used it the following week (and remember how happy we were to share a meal with her). She gratefully accepted.
Back to top

Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 7:44 am
Do you send guests home with the leftover wine that they brought?
Back to top

cm




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 7:47 am
Bringing a large quantity of a salad or side dish to contribute to the meal is very different from bringing wine or candy as a hostess gift. IME if there is more than a little left over and it will likely go to waste if left behind, the host asks the guest what she would like to take. Sometimes nothing, sometimes it is shared. This sort of potluck meal typically involves close friends so it would be a less formal situation.
Back to top

etky




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 7:48 am
amother wrote:
Would someone bring you candy or chocolate, and expect you to send any leftovers home? Unless it's something you really won't use, or don't want I wouldnt't offer. The guest mght also feel insulted that you didn't like what they brought, if you send leftovers back with them. I recently brought 2 homemade challahs to a hostess. Only one was used. She offered to give the extra one to me. I told her it would be my pleasure if she froze it and used it the following week (and remember how happy we were to share a meal with her). She gratefully accepted.


This, totally. It's not insulting to offer that they take it home (although as a guest I would never accept) but to insist or to automatically pack it up might be interpreted as 'it wasn't up to our standards'.
Back to top

Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 7:51 am
cm wrote:
Bringing a large quantity of a salad or side dish to contribute to the meal is very different from bringing wine or candy as a hostess gift. IME if there is more than a little left over and it will likely go to waste if left behind, the host asks the guest what she would like to take. Sometimes nothing, sometimes it is shared. This sort of potluck meal typically involves close friends so it would be a less formal situation.


My question was sarcastic. I agree that it is totally up to the hostess to offer. I should only offer if the food should go to waste. It is disrespectful for the guest to expect to take leftovers home.
Back to top

mommyhood




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 8:01 am
Assuming we’re talking about Shabbos, sending it home would only be ok if they’re going to eat it on Shabbos otherwise it would be hachana. I would not offer it to them and have never been offered to take home what I made for a Shabbos meal. I have been asked by a Sheva brachos or Purim seudah when there was a lot left over.
Back to top

watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Feb 26 2019, 8:12 am
I host a lot and have had guests do strange things many times. I never ask people to bring something but if someone that I'm close with offers, I'll accept the offer. When that happens, I dont ask them if they would like to bring it home. When hosts tell me to bring my contribution home, its actually pretty insulting.

One time, I was specifically asked by a host to make a certain kind of dessert that I am known for. The host was so thrilled that I brought it, beautifully presented and ready to serve (ie, not in a tin). She scooped it up and declared that she has important guests coming for next shabbos and she needs it for then. And she proceeded to double wrap it and put it right in her freezer! The weirdest part was the meal they served us - was literally only challah, fish, and cholent eggs. There was a shul kiddush that week and they had assumed everyone would fill up there. We dont let our kids fill up at kiddush ever, just take a small taste so they are still hungry for lunch, and even more so when we are guests somewhere. The whole things was super weird. And no, money is not an issue for them.

Like mommyhood said, for large meals when there are a lot of leftovers (I have a tiny freezer so it'll go to waste), I bring out Tupperware and send people home with food. There are a few guests that come often that I always send home with food, even on a regular shabbos, because I know they need it for whatever reason.
Back to top
1, 2  Next Recent Topics

Page 1 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h


Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Appropriate gift for hosting a shavous meal
by amother
15 Wed, May 22 2019, 3:42 pm View last post
Hosting a Simcha on Succos
by amother
11 Mon, May 13 2019, 5:54 pm View last post
Weird Smells That You Like s/o
by crust
72 Sun, May 12 2019, 2:14 am View last post
Weird numbers before a lot of my contacts 8 Fri, May 10 2019, 9:29 am View last post
Thread for people who self identify as weird 93 Sun, Apr 07 2019, 11:00 pm View last post

Jump to: