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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Is this something I am supposed to be doing?
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Mon, Feb 25 2019, 10:33 pm
I am a mom of a bunch of girls.
Recently many people have told me that more and more people are paying for the teenage girls in the family to laser off unwanted facial hair including eyebrows. They said that I will be saving my girls money for their whole lives. I guess so they don't have to pay for waxing.
What do you all think about this?
My daughter right now pays for her own waxing. Mainly because she wanted to do it before I felt it was age appropriate so she pays for it with babysitting or whatever. but then more and more people are telling me I am supposed to be paying for this laser treatment. That is just really expensive. probably if I had to I would do it.
What do you all think?
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imorethanamother




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 25 2019, 10:38 pm
Don’t do it. It doesn’t have a good success rate to warrant the cost. It’s not a guarantee.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Feb 25 2019, 10:48 pm
There is nothing you are "supposed to be doing" other than feeding, clothing and sheltering your children and giving them basic medical care. Even if you had disposable income you don't HAVE to pay for laser or waxing for your teen. It's your personal preference.
My mother never paid for any beauty treatments or hair removal. She never paid for a single manicure or professional make up application for me (even for my own wedding and siblings weddings).
She considers all these things "extras" that I had to pay for myself.

I pay for my DD to have her eyebrows, hair, nails and make up done for a family simcha, but otherwise she pays for these things from her own money.
She can choose if she wants threading, waxing, electrolysis or laser.
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:07 pm
I don't understand mothers who choose to have kids and then they don't look after their children's needs. Something as basic as hair removal she shouldn't have to work for to be able to do.
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 25 2019, 11:10 pm
I've actually never heard of laser on eyebrows - because fashions change, and she might decide she wants thinner/thicker eyebrows at some stage.
Actually, I'd be nervous to do laser right by my eyes anyway.

My DD is 17. She waxes her own arms with wax-strips. She shaves her legs with a blade. And we go together to wax eyebrows. (I pay).
I've done laser myself on my legs. It was so worth it. It cost a lot, but the hair is gone - zehu. I'm sorry I didn't do it earlier!
I would offer my DD if she wanted to do laser in a couple of year's time, and I'd offer to pay for it, bli neder. But that's just me.

Nothing you're supposed to be doing.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 12:54 am
I think that is all boils down to what is a need.
My children have what they need. I buy my girls nice makeup. Clothes that they need etc.
I am not sure if eyebrow hair removal by laser is a basic need.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 1:08 am
amother wrote:
I don't understand mothers who choose to have kids and then they don't look after their children's needs. Something as basic as hair removal she shouldn't have to work for to be able to do.

Most people I know do not consider hair removal to be a basic need unless the teen has really excessive, dark hair.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 1:19 am
amother wrote:
I don't understand mothers who choose to have kids and then they don't look after their children's needs. Something as basic as hair removal she shouldn't have to work for to be able to do.
Im sorry but when did hair removal become a basic need? Never. If a child wants to do that, they should be able to earn money and do it on their own. I dont think young kids need to be doing this anyway, and heres a shocker, this is not basic anything. Many many many many women never wax any part of their bodies ever.
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Metukah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 2:37 am
amother wrote:
I don't understand mothers who choose to have kids and then they don't look after their children's needs. Something as basic as hair removal she shouldn't have to work for to be able to do.


A need? Basic?

Its thanks to people like you that our teenagers today don't feel comfortable in their own skin. It's not a need and definitely not basic.

My mother didn't pay for my hair removal and I'm pleased she didn't. I'm not saying I won't pay for my girls' hair removal but they will definitely know its a luxury and not a necessity.
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Alternative




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 2:38 am
I would not laser eyebrows!! Too permanent. As it is many women have thinning eyebrows as they age.
Other parts of the body - would be nice if you can afford, not a necessity. I would pay for their waxing though. Not their fault they are female and society has such tough expectations of women.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 3:23 am
looool omg
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 3:25 am
amother wrote:
I don't understand mothers who choose to have kids and then they don't look after their children's needs. Something as basic as hair removal she shouldn't have to work for to be able to do.


I agree. This is something to have them look presentable. Why would they need to pay for something like this?
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 3:29 am
amother wrote:
I agree. This is something to have them look presentable. Why would they need to pay for something like this?


Not everyone holds that you need manicured eyebrows to look “presentable” in everyday life. I don’t do my eyebrows but if my DD asked, I would pay for hers to be done although probably not via laser. My older DD just started doing them/making them up herself because she is very much into make-up. I have no idea what she does or doesn’t spend on her eyebrows because as an adult, they are hers to upkeep, not mine.

I find it so sad that eyebrows are considered basic needs these days. I thought that meant food, clothing and shelter. 🤷🏻‍♀️
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amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:22 am
To all posters saying that it's not a need what would you do if your 14 yr old has a unibrow and she doesn't like it?
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:24 am
amother wrote:
To all posters saying that it's not a need what would you do if your 14 yr old has a unibrow and she doesn't like it?

So if she had something like 1 huge eyebrow or like facial hair on her chin or dark hair on her upper lip or something like that I would pay for it
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:26 am
WAIT A TEENAGER IS NOT PRESENTABLE IF NOT EPILATED? I would go OTD if I were you
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amother
Slateblue


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:29 am
Heavier boy brows are quite in now! I regret that I permanently removed mine.
But I dont see whats wrong with paying for something extra for your daughter if you choose to and can afford it?
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:31 am
Because of the message it sends HER
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:31 am
I'm just free-associating, but I'm reminded of a character in Asimov's "The End of Eternity" who came from the 803rd century when people had all their hair permanently removed at adolescence.
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amother
Gold


 

Post Tue, Feb 26 2019, 4:32 am
Arms and legs may be negotiable, but anyone who considers mustache hair removal for a self conscious teen a luxury is really out of touch with the needs connected to raising a teenager.


Doesn't have to be laser though.....
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