Leaving a 3 month old for a weekend

tichellady

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:13 pm

amother wrote:

How can you even think about leaving behind a breastfed baby?? It's not fair to the baby and to the caregivers. What if baby refuses bottles??

Obviously she would need to introduce the bottle some time in advance and make sure the baby is comfortable with it . It’s a good idea to do that anyways, so she has the ability to leave the baby for a few hours. Many women go back to work at 3 months and their babies don’t starve.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:15 pm

Tichellady, afew hours is not afew days, how is that even a comparison? If a baby is used to breastfeeding you can't expect baby to suddenly take only bottles for 3 days.

tichellady

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:31 pm

amother wrote:

Tichellady, afew hours is not afew days, how is that even a comparison? If a baby is used to breastfeeding you can't expect baby to suddenly take only bottles for 3 days.

I did this and it was fine. My baby was comfortable with the bottle and took it while I was gone without a problem. She and her grandparents had a good time. I wouldn’t do it if my baby wasn’t comfortable with taking a bottle

tichellady

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:33 pm

amother wrote:

Tichellady, afew hours is not afew days, how is that even a comparison? If a baby is used to breastfeeding you can't expect baby to suddenly take only bottles for 3 days.

Women who work are not gone for a few hours- more like 10. Their babies learn to take a bottle during the day. I dont understand why this is so hard to understand. Op, if you don’t want to go away then this is something you need to discuss with your husband, but I don’t think it’s crazy to leave a baby at this age with a loving grandparent ( if that’s your only hesitation)

amother

Yellow

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:38 pm

I would either stay home and not go or take baby with me. I breastfeed and I work. My baby does not take a bottle. I work very few hours and never gone more than a feeding. My 3 month old already knew me, and would know the difference if I was gone. Plus I would be a wreck even for one night. If parents would watch so I cuold go on a day date with hubby I wuld totally do that. But no not for overnight.

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:39 pm

Tichellady, I work and my babies take bottles, but they nurse through the night & in the morning. It is selfish and irresponsible to leave a nursing baby for days if it's not an emergency.

roses

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 3:41 pm

I wouldn't do it for vacation reasons. Only in a medical emergency. It can cause attachment trauma- babies really need the attachment of their primary caregiver, and they really do know who Mommy is. Especially breastfeeding Mommy. I would also never be able to relax and enjoy the vacation. Three months old is very young, and mother's and babies need each other

amother

Ivory

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 5:53 pm

I wouldn't do it. It's not fair to baby and it's not fair to me. If someones mental health was on the line it would be a push but husband wanting to get away doesn't qualify. Maybe hire a night nurse to come with you so you can sleep but not seeing your newborn for three days? honestly sounds torturous for me.

dancingqueen

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:01 pm

I wouldn’t, not that young and not for that long. I will say that you all have very generous parents if they are will to get up at night with your infant for 3 nights!

amother

Salmon

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:26 pm

Why is no one suggesting a compromise? If you go away for 1 night and 2 days then your husband has a chance to go away with just you and you will feel much more comfortable.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:27 pm

amother wrote:

Why is no one suggesting a compromise? If you go away for 1 night and 2 days then your husband has a chance to go away with just you and you will feel much more comfortable.

I wouldn't leave a three month old for two days either.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:28 pm

If you're nursing most of the time, and you wat to maintain that schedule afterwards, you're going to have to do a lot of pumping, including in the middle of the night. For one night, you'd be ok, but for a few you will likely lose some milk.

I would not unless there was a better reason than this. What would you do if the baby just decided not to take the bottle? And what would you do if the baby does take it and then won't go back to nursing? Or if the baby really misses you and just screams for three days? You can enjoy a nice vacation with the baby, and plan another without for later on. I have taken a three month old on vacation- it's actually a pretty easy age, aside from the waking up.

Cheiny

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:28 pm

estelle wrote:

Is it ok to leave a three and a half month baby for about three nights?? Has anyone done it? Im so nervous to leave her, but my DH is desperate for us to go away together for a bit. I think its just not fair on her, but I dont know if im being silly? She will be with her grandma who I do trust, but still no one can take care of her like I can...

I wouldn’t.

amother

Salmon

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:36 pm

amother wrote:

I wouldn't leave a three month old for two days either.

I wouldn't either but thats not my point.

simba

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 6:42 pm

I guess I am the odd one out. If my parents agreed to do it and baby was happy with a bottle I would leave baby with them for vacation with dh.

amother

Amber

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 7:25 pm

Honestly even one night is way to long for a nursing baby! Take your baby with you ... it's unfair to the poor baby:( Sad

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Feb 27 2019, 7:47 pm

I also think there's a big difference between leaving a baby who's used to breastfeeding for a significant portion of the day/night and one who only takes bottles. Bottles don't replace breastfeeding 24 hours for a baby who is used to the breast.