Don't understand social workers

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 10:19 am

Chaya123 wrote:

Her voicemail says to text her. I tried calling her and figured would leave a message. The only time she responded to text after months of no response was with something that she originally promised and never happened but then no response further.

Is your child still seeing the social worker in person regularly? Are you going once a month for a parent meeting?

Chaya123

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 10:21 am

ra_mom wrote:

Is your child still seeing the social worker in person regularly? Are you going once a month for a parent meeting?

No, we terminated with the agency and this social worker left the agency as well.

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 10:23 am

Chaya123 wrote:

We left off on a great note. She left the agency but offered to be in touch any time for questions. The case was closed and my child isn't being seen by the agency.

It seems that she's not involved anymore with your child's case and is inundated with her new caseload. Her wanting to keep in touch initially just doesn't seem to be possible anymore. She might have had good intentions but her assurances weren't realistic since she needs to reserve her time for her paid clients. It's a shame that she's not communicating that to you though.

Is it direction that you need from her in finding a new therapist? Or are you asking questions here and there about how to deal with specific situations with your child?

Chaya123

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 10:27 am

ra_mom wrote:

Just asking questions for guidance here and there.

yksraya

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 10:36 am

I would assume that if she's that great, she is most probably very busy. Chances are you are far from the only one texting her and she just can't respond to everyone.

Maybe at the time she offered guidance she 1. Was still working for your child. 2. Wasn't as busy. She now moved on to other cases and can't possibly be available for you anymore at this time.

ra_mom

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 10:38 am

Chaya123 wrote:

Just asking questions for guidance here and there.

It makes sense that she has to reserve her time for clients that see her regularly.

amother

Pink

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:17 pm

Chaya123 wrote:

Just asking questions for guidance here and there.

Very likely, her old agency forbade her from communicating with her old clients in any way.

Chaya123

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:21 pm

amother wrote:

Very likely, her old agency forbade her from communicating with her old clients in any way.

I wish I can know that so can stop bothering her.

watergirl

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:22 pm

Chaya123 wrote:

I wish I can know that so can stop bothering her.

Take this as your not so subtle clue and find another therapist.

amother

Plum

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 4:14 pm

Chaya123 wrote:

I wish I can know that so can stop bothering her.

It's not ethical for a social worker to provide ongoing advice without actually being the person's therapist.

Either see her at her new agency, or find a new therapist.

This is her telling you to stop bothering her.

aricelli

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 4:23 pm

I do understand you- I formed a nice relationship with ds prior therapist (lcsw) She is no longer working with him but I did recently send her a fond “thinking of you/ thanks for all youve done email and she sent back a nice note which felt good, I can understand the feeling of not being answered.
However, since she is not answering, its clearly an answer in itself and time to move on!

mamaleh

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 7:44 pm

Just a different perspective...is it possible her number changed and she just isn’t getting your texts?

seeker

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 8:17 pm

For all those saying that "this is her way of saying" that she isn't available/interested/able anymore, that's just not true (or right, if it is true.) Any policy that requires you to cut off contact with someone wouldn't preclude sending a message or letter or anything saying "I'm sorry, I will not be able to communicate with you anymore. All the best."

I would certainly encourage benefit of the doubt, maybe she's going through some horrible personal crisis, or maybe she gets zillions of texts and just isn't keeping on top of them well, but a professional who wishes to terminate contact doesn't do so by ignoring.

amother

Mistyrose

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 8:18 pm

I disagree with the opinions expressed above (seeker you beat me to it!). Firstly as a mensch she should let you know what’s going on even if she can’t help you.
Second a therapist always has responsibilities towards past clients (that’s why you can’t enter into other relationships with previous clients, because your work together keeps on having an effect) and even if you don’t belong to that agency anymore or she moved away, or whatever, she can’t abandon you like that. Acknowledgement and a quick explanation would be enough.
I’m not saying not to be dan l’caf zchus - maybe she changed her number or who knows what - but I understand why you’re so bothered, your feelings are completely valid.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 8:20 pm

This was not OPs therapist. This was OPs daughter's therapist and we don't know what any of the relationships are like. Maybe there were issues all along but the therapist put those aside because she was her client's mom but now with the actual client out of the picture things are different and the constant reaching out asking for free help instead of reaching out to find a new therapist to help her dd has just gotten too much.

amother

Lavender

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 8:52 pm

seeker wrote:

Amother Lavender OP said she was willing to pay for a session. Not looking for free help.

Chaya123 wrote:

Just asking questions for guidance here and there.

oliveoil

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 9:54 pm

seeker wrote:

Amother Lavender OP said she was willing to pay for a session. Not looking for free help.

Sounds like she's been asking for (and expecting) free help on a semi-regular basis for a while and since she's not getting it, is now offering to pay.

seeker

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 11:06 pm

OK, it's possible I misread the situation. Still, that would warrant a reply saying "Hi, I will no longer be able to take any questions from you. Good luck."