Tuition discount for child who doesn't attend

amother

Brunette

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:17 pm

DD barely goes to school and was diagnosed with school refusal. She goes less than half the time but it's not exact (ie has gone to the morning class 10% of the time but to science class 60% of the year, she went zero times the first two months but then went every day for two weeks)...

Tuition is a fortune (about $12k/child) and because of her issues, I am also paying an additional huge amount on therapy, private tutors etc.

I am not considering asking for a refund of any portion of this year (which I already paid in full, some still in headchecks) but now that it's time to think about next year... can I ask to pay only some of the tuition depending on how much she goes? Obviously if she goes half the time, I'll pay more than half the amount but we always give the checks in advance and I realllllllllllly hope she goes full time and that I'll "get" to pay the entire amount but.... there's a chance she won't go at all, and have to be moved to a special program...

How do I work this out and is it okay for me to even ask? She definitely takes a lot less time and energy that the typical student (on account of her barely being there)... Also, they did not turn away another child because she took the spot. What do you think?

mha3484

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:22 pm

I have a similar situation in that my child goes to yeshiva for part of his morning and a different therapeutic program in the afternoon. We started with just around an hour-ish and have been slowly increasing his time at yeshiva. I asked the woman who is in charge of tuition what they would charge me for this arrangement and she asked the committee without using our names how they would handle such a case. They gave me a very fair price for this year.

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:26 pm

I think the other child didn't take your daughter's spot. There is still a spot available when she attends. You can always ask. Depending on the financial health of the school, they may give you a break. They wouldn't be unreasonable if they said no. You daughter may or may not go to school on any given day.

My DD attends morning classes barely a third of the time. It would never occur to me to ask.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:32 pm

I think it doesn't hurt to ask but realize its completely in the schools right to say no discount because they don't charge by the hour and there's no way to know when your kid will show up which can be hard for the teacher to deal with. come at it as you know that and they will probably be more likely to work something out with you.

I also want to say major hugs to you. One of my brothers has mental illness and when he was younger he would refuse to go to school. I saw how hard it was for my mother Sad

amother

Wine

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:33 pm

Sorry for all you are going through. You can ask the school about paying partial tuition, but because they would have to hold an entire spot for your daughter, whether or not she attends, there's a good chance they will have to say no. Every spot costs money. But so long as the conversation is polite, there's no reason not to ask.

amother

Brunette

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 12:45 pm

amother wrote:

This is a school with about 200 kids/grade that accepts everyone. How did she take someone else's slot? If anyone else wanted to come, they could have!

gold21

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 1:37 pm

I imagine that schools find it difficult to work with part-time students. Seems like they've been reasonably accommodating of the situation so far. I'm just not sure that they will give you a tuition break. But, it certainly can't hurt to call and discuss. I think you should approach it by explaining that the cost of therapy etc, is quite prohibitive, and that's why you're asking for a break. The fact that she's a part time student is not a maaleh to the school at all, and in fact is a chisaron to them, so is likely not something they would give you a break for. Good Luck.

simba

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 5:30 pm

Funny story;
I was absent a lot in high school. No diagnosis of school refusal just a sheer case of teenageridis!
My principal complained to my father that I was absent so much and my fathers quick response was a request for a tuition break for my lack of attendance.

I think it ended there!

I agree with the above sentiment. It’s OK for you to ask and it is equally OK for the school to say no.

SixOfWands

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 5:39 pm

amother wrote:

This is a school with about 200 kids/grade that accepts everyone. How did she take someone else's slot? If anyone else wanted to come, they could have!

But they still had to make sure that they had a desk for her. And school books. And that the class size is still acceptable when she comes.

In fact, I'd argue that her poor attendance record means that the school has to devote more resources to her, not less.

Which doesn't mean that they shouldn't give you a break if you need it in order to meet her needs for therapy. You should certainly ask.

Most importantly, I wish you and her luck in meeting and addressing her needs.

amother

Seafoam

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 7:14 pm

simba wrote:

This is so reassuring, I have a teenage dd who hardly goes to school and we are trying so hard to figure this all out. You seem so normal that it gives me hope for my dd!

simba

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 7:24 pm

amother wrote:

This is so reassuring, I have a teenage dd who hardly goes to school and we are trying so hard to figure this all out. You seem so normal that it gives me hope for my dd!

She will be fine.
I was busy with chessed and having fun. I still do that!
Formal education is over rated imnsho!

amother

Lilac

Thu, Feb 28 2019, 7:51 pm

I am a psychologist in a school and I have to say that we dedicate more time, effort and resources for our students with school refusal - support, encouragement, interfacing with outside therapists, helping the student get caught up on work missed etc., it’s a lot more individual attention.

Hatzlacha rabba