Talking to 3 yr old about anti Semitism?

amother

Bronze

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 5:46 pm

On Sunday, I took the NY subway with my very precocious 3.5 year old dd. On the way to the platform, a sweet looking old lady asked me if I was Jewish. Without stopping I answered yes. She then started yelling at us that Hitler should have killed us all....dirty Jews...and that she will kill us etc. She made no move to get up from her walker, so I promptly filed the episode away as mildly disturbing, but what’s a Jew to do...

Today, 2 days later, my daughter was describing her subway trip to her grandmother, and she mentioned that on the way to the train “someone yelled at us that she will kill us”.

I was surprised to hear her say this, because I honestly didn’t think she was paying attention and heard (the woman was yelling after us, not at us). My daughter mentioned it as a side pointin her story, I didn’t hear her say anything else about it until then. And she didn’t elaborate further.

Do I leave the matter as is? Or bring it up and discuss it with her? What should I say? She’s really little. I really don’t want to bring up anti semtism and hatred. Do I say the old lady must have been a little crazy? Hashem is always watching us?

Help.... why is my little angel getting death threats??? Banging head

FranticFrummie

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 5:55 pm

If your DD doesn't mention it again, then let it go.

What an awful thing to happen to you! That sounds pretty scary. I think you handled it well.

As she gets older, you can explain that there are some people who hate people who aren't like them, and that it's wrong. Racism, zexism, anti-Semitism, it's all wrong. Tell her that when Moshiach comes, everyone will know that we are all equal, and all made in Hashem's image.

amother

Teal

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 6:03 pm

I would absolutely bring it up and help her process what happened, since it's obviously scary and confusing to her. I have such clear memories of events in my childhood that were scary to me; I never said anything to an adult, so I guess they never thought they needed to explain anything to me. But I was just frightened and confused, with no context for processing it.

I would probably say something like, "remember when we saw that lady on the train and she started screaming? That was pretty scary for me. Was it scary for you? I don't like when people scream and say mean things! Mommy and Daddy are going to make sure you're safe and won't let mean people like that do anything bad to us."

ectomorph

Tue, Mar 05 2019, 6:11 pm

sequoia wrote:

In this case you can just say the lady was not well. Which she clearly wasn’t.

yup. I wouldn't scare a 3 year old or even 5 year old. They will end up imagining that every non Jew hates them... Plenty of time for that when they're older.

I might introduce the concept at 6 or 7, which is when I first read holocaust books, even later depending on the child.