Sleep away camp | Imamother

amother

Gray

Wed, Mar 06 2019, 10:15 am

So my 7th grade daughter will be attending sleep away camp iyh this summer for the first time. I'm very excited for her;she works so hard at home and takes such responsibility. I'm happy for her to get away and relax.
So here's the big question:
I applied very early for her and bh she got in first half. Since the camp is overfull for first half, they're trying to shift over as many girls as possible for second half and promised me substantial discount if I do so, which really makes a huge diff for me.
However, I want to do what's best for daughter. Even without the discount, second half has many pros for her as it's smaller, more low key, and not as fancy, which is really best for her. On the other hand, she feels she's giving up something big by not going first half especially after she got in, as she knows so many are on waiting list.
The camp is pressuring us to make decision and her friends' mothers want to know what I'm doing as well. One of her friends will probably go first half and the other second half, and she feels more comf w the one going second half.
On the other hand, the camp doesn't really know yet who will come second half as it's later in the game and they're still working on it.
Also if she goes first half, she won't really have what to do a good part of second half bec won't be able to commit to a job if we go away for a week. On the other hand, if she goes to camp second half, she can take a job first half for the full month and I already have a nice sounding option for her.
I don't want to push my daughter and make her feel she didn't get what's best. She understands the financial aspect for us and is taking that into consideration but I feel bad and don't want her to feel the crunch, on the other hand, she is learning fiscal responsibility in school this year and should somewhat feel responsibility.
I know realistically for me to commit to paying something that will be a huge struggle is also hard and not responsible and I'm so tempted to commit to second half but understand where she's coming from and truthfully, feel that way myself as well like first half is still better. Also, the nine days and Tisha B'av come out second half, hopefully Moshiach will come today.
What should I do?

doctorima

Wed, Mar 06 2019, 11:40 am

It sounds like besides the financial benefit for you, there are a number of factors that are better for DD about 2nd half - her good friend going then, smaller more relaxed crowd, getting a job 1st half, etc., so I wouldn't feel bad about sending her then like you're saving yourself $ at her expense. The only reason not to would be if she's going to be upset or resentful about it.

Can you talk some of her other 1st half friends into also joining her there 2nd half? Could you maybe also offer to take her on a small trip or get her something she's been wanting if she goes then (since you'll now be saving quite a bit of $)?

SixOfWands

Wed, Mar 06 2019, 12:39 pm

Some camps have 2 completely separate sessions, with completely different kids. In that case, first vs second session isn't going to make a big difference.

Other camps are really 7 or 8 weeks, but some kids leave after the "first session" -- that is, after 4 weeks. It is a REALLY bad idea to send your kid to second session only in those camps. The kids have already found their groups and their friends and their routines and who does what and when and how. Stepping into the middle of that is really difficult

Do keep in mind that Tisha B'Av is August 11, and the 9 days will affect some camp activities.

amother

Blush

Wed, Mar 06 2019, 12:47 pm

I would take one of two approaches:

1. Decide the financial savings are significant enough that it's worth making a decision based on that alone.

2. Use this as an opportunity to teach DD about making difficult choices. Sit down and help her make a list of pros and cons for each option. Do not include the finances, as that's an unfair burden to place on her at this age. Once you've already agreed to pay the original amount, you shouldn't get wishy washy about savings with her. Let her decide based on her list which option is preferable to her.

amother

Gray

Wed, Mar 20 2019, 11:16 am

Update on this:
So she finally made decision to go for second half when job we were handling with fell thru. Since then, another very promising job also didn't hire her. She's going crazy from all this back and forth and stressed that doesn't have summer plans finalized. Honestly, so am I. I'm tempted to just call it quits and go for first half so like this, she's settled and it's a done deal. However, the second half price is really so tempting. I don't know what to do and hurting and reeling for my daughter bec she doesn't even know yet that this job won't work out.

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 20 2019, 11:28 am

OP, in case this makes you feel good about your decision, I want to tell you that my DD went 2nd half the first two summers she went to camp (CBY), and LOVED it. The 3rd summer, she decided to try out first half, also due to some friends telling her to do that....we paid more for the trip, and it was her worst camp experience, she missed the chilled pace of 2nd half so much.

As a staff member (in a different camp) she also went 2nd half and loved it (even though first half was more popular) and would go back 2nd half.