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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section
Bar Mitzvah Gift



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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sat, Mar 09 2019, 7:36 pm
What do you give as a Bar Mitzvah gift when you are invited for kiddush only?
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 5:22 am
In my circles, nothing.
This might be community specific, though?
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 9:05 am
essie14 wrote:
In my circles, nothing.
This might be community specific, though?

That is what I thought. But the mother of bar mitzvah boy is hinting for gift. And making me feel cheap for not giving anything.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 9:24 am
amother wrote:
That is what I thought. But the mother of bar mitzvah boy is hinting for gift. And making me feel cheap for not giving anything.

Who hints for a gift? How rude!
I made a weekday affair for my son and most people gave gifts (as is the norm in our circles) but I most certainly didn't say a word to anyone who didn't give a gift.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 9:27 am
essie14 wrote:
Who hints for a gift? How rude!
I made a weekday affair for my son and most people gave gifts (as is the norm in our circles) but I most certainly didn't say a word to anyone who didn't give a gift.

The mother of bar mitavah boy is complaining that not to many people gave her kid gifts.
I have never gave for a kiddush only before. So now wondering what to give.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 9:30 am
amother wrote:
The mother of bar mitavah boy is complaining that not to many people gave her kid gifts.
I have never gave for a kiddush only before. So now wondering what to give.

If you would like to give a gift, go ahead. But I think it's odd for a mother to complain about her son not receiving gifts. And I personally wouldn't bow to that pressure. I get invited to at least 1 bar mitzvah kiddush a month.
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sarahmalka




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 9:33 am
I live in a small oot community. For my daughter's birthday mitzvah we had a big Kiddush at shul. Many people did give her a small check (18-36). But many did not, and there's no expectation.
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 10 2019, 9:43 am
To me the only appropriate gift for a kiddush is sending something for the sweet table but really only close family and friends generally send those.
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