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Does playgroup morah have final say?
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amother




Taupe


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 5:28 pm
OP here

Wow, thanks so much for all your replies. Not that they'll help in real life, but it does validate me Wink

To clarify, I think there are one or two other kids that don't nap, but they are the type to sit and play quietly. My son is bit more active and doesn't sit still with blocks etc for more than a few min at a time. So she needs the two hour break from him specifically.

The other playgroups in my area are all full, but I am on the lookout for babysitters and keeping my eyes and ears open as much as I can regarding the playgroup he's in now.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 5:50 pm
I wonder if we send to the same place. My son's babysitter also has naptime at that hour and she’s not flexible about it. (She actually officially keeps he in the crib/stroller for close to 3 hours when my son never sleeps more than 1 1/2- 2 so I’m not happy about that either.) There are times he needs to go in earlier and she keeps him up because she wants them all sleeping at the same time. She hasn’t been willing to accommodate my other requests either but the thing is my baby loves going and gives her big smiles whenever I’m there to pick him up so I tolerate her rigidity. If my son seemed unhappy I would find another place. I hope you find a solution that works for you.
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Mommyg8




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 6:03 pm
OP, I'll join the chorus:

Look for another playgroup.

I've been on both sides of the coin, both as a parent and as a Morah. A two year old crying at drop off? Really, really not a good sign. A Morah telling you that she needs her quiet time? Um, what? Seriously?

This time of year many two year olds outgrow their naps, it's pretty normal. If the Morah has any experience at all, she should know that this happens and have a plan to deal with it. May be she needs to hire an assistant. Or stretch herself a bit. Or whatever. Either way, this is her issue, not yours.

ETA: The Morah says he's happy, your son says he's not. Who do you believe?
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amother




Coral


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 6:11 pm
Then again my daughter gave me a hard time/ cried every time I dropped her off starting from when she was 18 months old until this year FIRST GRADE
And I truly believe she was having a wonderful time and was well taken care of in each camp/caregiver etc...
She just had difficulty with separation
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 7:53 pm
Your son may be crying when you drop him off because he's being forced by the morah.

His new crying at night when you close the door like you always do may be an indication that he's being locked behind closed doors for 2 hours of nap time whether he likes it or not.

This is not a good situation. Trust your mother's gut OP. It is pointing you in the right direction, and directing you to protect your son.
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amother




Mint


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 8:11 pm
I'm a playgroup morah, and find this insane! When a mother asked to push the naptime a bit later, I worked with her until we figured something out. A child doesn't nap anymore? Sit quietly in stroller with some books.
If she needs 2 hours of brain space in the middle of her workday, she needs to cut her hours. Or more accurately - she's in the wrong field.
A 2 hour break is way out of the normal range. Who get a break that long?!? On a regular day I get 20 or so mins to eat my lunch/make a phone call.
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 10:10 pm
Burgundy, what you wrote is very worrisome. A morah that is that rigid most likely isn't the nurturing type...And to be kept in for a nap for 3 hours when he is sleeping much less... my heart goes out for your kid!
OP, if this was my kid I wouldn't be so worried about the nap fiasco ( although that sounds totally crazy) but I would be very concerned at all the other red flags that are indicating that the morah isn't creating a safe environment for your son!
Please don't send him there tomorrow...
Also when does your son eat lunch? This nap schedule makes no sense... sounds like it has the morah's schedule in mind and not the kids....
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 10:14 pm
Mint, you sound like a great morah but may I ask why do you put a kid in a stroller with some books? That doesn't sounds right to be confined like that for so long. Have a child comfortable on a mat, cozy with some books but not in a stroller like that....hatzlacha with the great work that you do!
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amother




Periwinkle


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 10:28 pm
can she let him watch quietly in the other room so she still gets a break?
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amother




Green


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 10:53 pm
I'm a playgroup morah, I have two year olds. We're in March, at this point of the year I find most kids have outgrown the nap, we start off the year playing quietly with a couple of kids while the majority naps and now the majority plays while a couple of kids still take a nap quietly in their strollers. I worked at a different playgroup a couple of years ago where a nap is a must for the entire class and despised that time of day, the daily spending half an hour to an hour trying to strap a struggling child into their stroller and listening to them cry doesn't seem healthy for the child. The morah's rigidity seems off, I'm sorry. At face value, she's having a hard time and quite possibly he's not her favorite. It's a hard situation if he needs to stay there, I suggest possibly sending him a 'quiet time' toy or book that can be taken out during that hour while the rest of the class naps to see if that works. I'm sorry but I find it infuriating that someone can suggest melatonin to make a child more sleepy so she can take a break when he has a perfectly normal sleep schedule for a two year old!!!! Banging head
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amother




Mint


Post  Tue, Mar 12 2019, 11:47 pm
amother wrote:
Mint, you sound like a great morah but may I ask why do you put a kid in a stroller with some books? That doesn't sounds right to be confined like that for so long. Have a child comfortable on a mat, cozy with some books but not in a stroller like that....hatzlacha with the great work that you do!


You have a good point, but in this case it's one kid, and she wants to be in her stroller:) Some kids nap on mats and some in their strollers (whatever works better for each kid), but as soon as the strollers come out, she wants hers, too. She probably enjoys the cozy down-time, but doesn't need to actually sleep. And naps are aprox an hour and 15. But from when the last kid goes to sleep until first one awakens is a lot less. Whoever wakes up early gets lunch earlier, and the kids that wake up late just join the others in the middle.
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amother




Aquamarine


Post  Wed, Mar 13 2019, 1:14 pm
I hear you, Mint. I guess it is different if she wants her stroller over a mat... You sound like a lovely Morah...
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