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thunderstorm




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Mar 15 2019, 8:42 am
amother wrote:
Wooops. I'm so sorry you took this the way you did.
Or maybe I didn't word what I meant to correctly. So I apologize!

So, yes my father obviously chose this role, been doing it for upwards of 25 years. And is a beloved rebbe. And he also knows the salary, and the lifestyle. And my parents do live according to their budget. Simple. Hand me downs. Cutting corners etc.
And they're happy! Struggling yes. Like others. Of course.
And 100% would never want struggling families to give what they cant. (Did I say that those that can't should?)

But I was suggesting - that if it's a question of either putting $ time and effort into fancy MM. Or a more substantial check- the latter is needed and thus would be so so appreciated.

I don't know why you got offended..... But I'm genuinely sorry that you did.

Because it sounds very entitled.
Many, many people who are not in klei kodesh are struggling financially as much or even more so than melamdim. For some reason there is an attitude that just because you work in whatever field you automatically have money. It has been my own personal experience that my sons melamdim live on a much higher standard of living than we could afford. We wear hand me Downs, have to worry about how we will pay our bills , and struggle too.
Our bosses don't give us money for Purim and Chanuka . We will need to make Pesach too.
Do you know that many times my boss gave me a couple hundred of $ as a bonus and I divided my bonus and saved it to give to the rebbeim instead?
But there are years that we couldn't . I don't have a job. So there is no bonus to divide up.
Every time I pressured my DH to give each Rebbe money on Purim he would then take my child to the Rebbes home and come back describing how they live vs the way we lived and he felt like he was taking money we don't have and giving it to someone way better off than we were. He said he wished the Rebbe came to our home to see how we lived.
I will guarantee you that there are many families who get into shalom bayis arguments because one spouse feels we NEED to give and the other spouse says we DONT HAVE. When we hear family members of rebbeim express that it's very expected and pressure is applied this affects people in not such a good way. I would ask that family members if rebbeim, wife and kids please keep in mind that there are many families that don't even have $20 x five kids to give to each Rebbe. Their priorities are in order, they just don't have it.
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Raisin




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Mar 15 2019, 9:03 am
also, female teachers work very hard and deserve hakaros hatov too. And have expenses! Even if they are single.
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watergirl




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Mar 15 2019, 9:19 am
amother wrote:
Wooops. I'm so sorry you took this the way you did.
Or maybe I didn't word what I meant to correctly. So I apologize!

So, yes my father obviously chose this role, been doing it for upwards of 25 years. And is a beloved rebbe. And he also knows the salary, and the lifestyle. And my parents do live according to their budget. Simple. Hand me downs. Cutting corners etc.
And they're happy! Struggling yes. Like others. Of course.
And 100% would never want struggling families to give what they cant. (Did I say that those that can't should?)

But I was suggesting - that if it's a question of either putting $ time and effort into fancy MM. Or a more substantial check- the latter is needed and thus would be so so appreciated.

I don't know why you got offended..... But I'm genuinely sorry that you did.


I'm not offended. But your post was out of line.

You may have meant what you wrote just now (in bold) but you did not say that in your first post. You said very clearly to send a small mm and send a generous check with it. You never said to do it in lieu of a fancy mm, sans check.

And I still maintain that its not for the rebbe's families to even suggest that people send a check. Its tacky. Not sure what kind of comments were made around you when you were growing up, or now, that make you think that its ok to make these comments here.

I agree that the fancy mm should be scaled down. But the money should be going to tzedakka - matanos levyonim. There is no mitzvah on purim to give your kids rebbe a check. I have no idea where this custom came from but its gotten way out of hand.
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