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Comment on report card
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:16 pm
Background: my son is an adorable 7 year old boy who has a challenging time in school. He goes out MANY times a day for many different subjects. He is barely in class with his regular class. He is bh making TREMENDOUS progress this year and it unbelievable to see. His resource room teachers are amazed at the progress he has made.
I got his report cards today. He did ok overall. He will never be a top student and that is ok.
His English teacher, whom he is barely in class for but he loves her, wrote a comment that I was very taken aback with, especially since she just made him student of the month for the third time this year already....I am not super upset over it but having second thoughts about the nice mishloach Manos I was going to give her and every single person who is helping him ....
She wrote:
Blank is a sweet and kind boy. He needs help in all academic areas, with more help and support at home he may be able to achieve grade level.

I feel the comment is very cold and dh was upset they let her put it on the card going to us and is hurt. The first term, she put a really really nice comment.

I got 4 other report cards with amazing comments about how he is doing.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:19 pm
Is it possible that she worded it badly but actually meant it as encouragement? As in, keep up the extra help and he may soon close the gap and be at grade level?
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:23 pm
The wording is not great and she probably should have called you to speak about this rather than put it on his report card.

That said, some teachers view report cards as just that. A report on how the student is doing and how they can improve. You said your son is barely in her class, so maybe she doesn't know about his improvement in other areas? She clearly believes in him and thinks he can improve academically, but she also believes (perhaps erroneously?) that his poor academics has to do with the amount of practice he's getting at home.

If that is truly her feeling, I'll reiterate that I think that should have been addressed with you in person or over the phone. But I wouldn't take what she wrote personally, rather as her poorly delivered take on how your son could improve.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:23 pm
Probably, she has to word it that way for documentation purposes. At the end of the day, a report card is a legal document. It's possible she got dinged for her warm and fuzzy previous comment.
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amother
White


 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:27 pm
Is she a first year teacher/a bit inexperienced? Her comment is poorly worded, and probably a template that she used for all of the "struggling" boys in the class. Sometimes teachers aren't given enough time to write adequately personalized comments. Also, if he's not in class much, she may have been at a loss for what to write, and thought this was encouragement.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:43 pm
Please don't take this personally. It sounds like it came out of the Teacher Handbook for Report Card Comments book. (Okay, I'm not sure that's the name of the book but I used it when I was just starting out. Purple book.) It's full of impersonal and cliche comments that don't capture the essence of the student at all. Perfect for a teacher that doesnt know the child too well and is unsure of herself. To me it sounds like she's focused on the future and didn't write about his amazing progress because she is simply unaware.
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teachkids




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:53 pm
As a teacher, it’s very hard to write comments for those kids we never really teach. I can speak about middos (nice and kind boy) and I’m required to mention how a child is behind so they can keep their IEP, but I don't have enough information to detail where they are in those subjects they take outside my room.
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honeymoon




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 18 2019, 11:59 pm
I think the teacher could have worded the comment with a bit more sensitivity. A warm, encouraging, yet truthful comment goes a long way.

As a teacher myself, I will try to give this teacher the benefit of the doubt. Writing report cards is brutal. It takes every last vestige of energy out of you. Throw in all the legal paperwork she most likely has to complete, to the mix and it is truly commendable that she managed to formulate a comment at all.

If it bothers you or your child, do yourself and the teacher a favor and call her to clarify. And send her that beautiful mishloach manos. She deserves it.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 2:27 am
"Blank is a sweet and kind boy. He needs help in all academic areas, with more help and support at home he may be able to achieve grade level."

I don't see what was so wrong with this comment. She started off by saying that your son is sweet and kind. How is that a "cold" remark? And the second part was meant to be encouraging.

I think withholding mishloach manot from her and all the people helping him (srsly?) is very petty and silly.
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Rappel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 3:07 am
teachkids wrote:
As a teacher, it’s very hard to write comments for those kids we never really teach. I can speak about middos (nice and kind boy) and I’m required to mention how a child is behind so they can keep their IEP, but I don't have enough information to detail where they are in those subjects they take outside my room.


This.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 3:34 am
OP the reason why you are upset I think is because the comment could be taken as a negative comment about YOU , that YOU are not at the moment doing enough to help and support him. Even if that's not what was meant, it certainly feels hurtful to read. In any case the report is supposed to be about your son, not about you.

But don't withhold the MM - that's silly and won't achieve anything.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 4:10 am
Is it possible that this is what she intended with her comment:

Blank is a sweet and kind boy. He needs help in all academic areas. With more help (aka services from his various providers) and (continued) support at home he may be able to achieve grade level.

Does that make it more palatable?
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 4:35 am
amother wrote:
Is it possible that this is what she intended with her comment:

Blank is a sweet and kind boy. He needs help in all academic areas. With more help (aka services from his various providers) and (continued) support at home he may be able to achieve grade level.

Does that make it more palatable?


This is how I would read it too.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 6:13 am
What DrMom said. You don’t know that any offense was meant. I don’t either see what was so bad. Because the teacher didn’t gush about your ds TREMENDOUS progress and all the HARD work you did with him? Not all teachers are gushy, and this one barely sees the child. I thought her remarks were positive. Don’t you want your ds to achieve grade level? Isn’t that the point?


MM is a mitzvah. Don’t use it as a vehicle for petty revenge because the wording isn’t warmly fuzzy enough for your taste.
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:29 am
I am not gonna withhold mm probably. However, I still feel she could have called me. Also it's a hard thing for a parent to read that ur kid is below level on everything and needs more support at home, when u spend hours and hours helping him and he CLEARLY made a TON of improvement. (Went from not reading to reading books, he is actually class level in math but goes put so it's a smaller class) Her comment first term was much nicer, as was every other teachers comment. I just felt that she shouldn't have given me a report card like that, rather just don't send it. She put NI in every box. (Needs improvement). When I spoke to her the two times I did this year ahead said she wouldn't grade him at all in those areas some he isn't in class.
I am.just gonna put it away and ignore it, but as a teacher a little sensitivity can go a long way.
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:43 am
She probably should have just written- with continued support....
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:52 am
op, sounds to me like you are a perfectionist. You would have worded the comment differently, but she is not you, and you are not the teacher.
I am also a perfectionist when it comes to writing, and I sometimes look at a note someone sent me and think I would have written it differently.
But that's who they are...just move on, forgive and forget.
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flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:56 am
Email her and ask for clarification.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:13 am
As a teacher, I've seen it all. I've been at meetings where parents brought lawyers etc. Went thru emails and report cards with a fine tooth comb. My second year, the parents (who were trying to get an IEP for their daughter) were fuming mad at the teacher for the year before, because she gave her daughter As and Bs with nice fluffy comments, when in actuality the kid was performing below grade level. That's why I would assume the school wants to cover their bases, now that its half way thru the year, they see that your son, while making amazing progress, is still below grade level. And they need the report card to reflect that. The school probably pored over his report card to make sure they/the teacher do not get in any kind of legal trouble.

Just one more word of advice. And I dont mean this in a harsh way: if your kid is overall happy and loves his teachers and is making progress...don't rock the boat and send an angry email or call the teacher and put her on the defensive over something so minor. You do sound like you need to develop a thicker skin.
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:33 am
groisamomma wrote:
Please don't take this personally. It sounds like it came out of the Teacher Handbook for Report Card Comments book. (Okay, I'm not sure that's the name of the book but I used it when I was just starting out. Purple book.) It's full of impersonal and cliche comments that don't capture the essence of the student at all. Perfect for a teacher that doesnt know the child too well and is unsure of herself. To me it sounds like she's focused on the future and didn't write about his amazing progress because she is simply unaware.


No jokes, we really have this. Or almost. There's no free text, we have to choose from a comment bank. And until this year we could only choose one comment, so one-dimensional. Thanks to teacher feedback they now enabled us to put 2 comments. What you wrote is almost word for word one of the comments in the bank.
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