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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:54 am
I got a text from my sil last night saying I can't come to the night sueda.

The problem is that I invited her for the other seuda with all her 17 kids.

Last year, when she was here her son got drunk to the point where he fainted and we had to call Hatzalah for him but her husband would refuse to go along because he didn't want to be in the ER on Purim. (His mentor is against it.)

So I was left on Purim to watch all her other kids while she went to the hospital with him!!

Anyway, lets say I shouldn't act tit for for tat. Let's say we forget about last year.
What about this year?
You come to someone with almost 2 dozen people and you dont reciprocate?! How not menshlich can you get??!!!



Objective;
Take this thread in as many directions as possible.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:54 am
My husband's mentor would never say that.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:56 am
Which hospital did hatzalah take her to?
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:57 am
Why does she have so many kids if they can’t get a grip on them? Maybe slip a pack of birth control in her mishloach Manos as well as a number for a Dayan (which you of course called before and explained the situation- you really don’t want to watch all 16 of them this year again while that son who won’t be named is on the ER).
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 7:58 am
crust wrote:
My husband's mentor would never say that.


What's a mentor?
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:00 am
How old is the son that got drunk? If he's a minor, who served him the alcohol?
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simcha2




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:03 am
You have a night seuda on purim?
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:04 am
Mommyg8 wrote:
What's a mentor?


We have a winner!!!!
Not worthy Not worthy Not worthy Not worthy

(After that, how can I even bring myself to give crust mussar for such blatant lashon hara? But I'll try.
At the very least, you should have gone amother. Let us know that you have asked exhausted eitzos from IRL support and are turning to us as a last resort.

Wait!!!!
Let me be dlkz.
Crust, you probably changed so many details that should I meet your sister, I won't think any less of her. OTOH, if I meet any of your first cousins once removed, I shall suspect them all.)
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giselle




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:06 am
This is why it’s better to get drunk every shabbos - your body gets used to it.
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crust




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:08 am
PinkFridge the story is made up- happened while I typed.
(It's still happening- depending on the responses.)
(I have the most menshlich sils ever irl- so boring nothing juicy to post about!! Smile )
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karat




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:15 am
What is the mentor’s name?
Please post it so we can all judge whether he is worthy of being your BIL’s mentor, and spread lashon hara about him.
Don’t worry, it’s l’toeles.
My Rav allows it, I texted my Rav just now to share your dilemma with him.
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:17 am
SuperWify wrote:
Why does she have so many kids if they can’t get a grip on them? Maybe slip a pack of birth control in her mishloach Manos as well as a number for a Dayan (which you of course called before and explained the situation- you really don’t want to watch all 16 of them this year again while that son who won’t be named is on the ER).


Why does she only have 17 kids? Obviously her and her husband don’t communicate and need therapy. She needs to read Laura Doyle’s new book Surrended Sister.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:21 am
crust wrote:
PinkFridge the story is made up- happened while I typed.
(It's still happening- depending on the responses.)
(I have the most menshlich sils ever irl- so boring nothing juicy to post about!! Smile )


DD and I were sitting together at a wedding on Sunday night and she introduced me to the woman on the other side of her as her niece. Another woman 2 seats away is also a niece. My DD is married to the youngest in the family and most of the older siblings have married kids. Even though I have been frum for over 40 years, I am still trying to get used to the fact that DD, age 33, has been a great aunt for several years, keneinahora.
When I was growing up, aunt's were a generation ahead of us and only cousins were our contemporaries.
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:26 am
Look, she was in a bad situation and you helped her out with such a grudging attitude. You should only do chesed if you can do it whole-heartedly. But OTOH if we can't rely on family to be there for us, who can we rely on?
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Aylat




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:29 am
And btw OP, you sound really entitled. Nobody has to invite you anywhere or make you any meals. You're an adult, you knew last year Purim was coming and you even had an extra month to prepare! Cook the night meal yourself.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:29 am
crust wrote:
PinkFridge the story is made up- happened while I typed.



I could tell. That's why I loved Mommyg8's reply.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:40 am
OP, I think this is is your nisayon that HaShem gave you and what you should be doing is inviting your sister with her 17 kids again this year. Not only for one Seuda but for two! Purim is a time to give. You are supposed to give up any comforts and joy of your own in order to bring joy to others. How could you not know that?!
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:40 am
amother wrote:
Why does she only have 17 kids? Obviously her and her husband don’t communicate and need therapy. She needs to read Laura Doyle’s new book Surrended Sister.


Huh? She’s busy with her own 17 kids, why is it fair to take care of sisters as well?

And IMVHO I hate Laura Doyle!!!!

There, I said it.

(I hope I won’t be kicked of this site Can't Believe It )

***runs for cover****
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Jewishfoodie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:40 am
Please stop shaming me for nursing other peoples' kids in public. Its hurtful.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Mar 19 2019, 8:41 am
Jewishfoodie wrote:
Please stop shaming me for nursing other peoples' kids in public. Its hurtful.


Well hello!!! Look who just showed up in time for Purim!!!
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