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Do you ever hide on Purim?
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, Mar 20 2019, 3:40 pm
amother wrote:
thats honestly disgusting. someone is coming to give you maybe they think they are close to you, maybe they dont have a lot of friends etc. and you have your people so you dont care? sounds very selfish.


I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF HOW JUDGEMENTAL IMAMOTHER HAS GOTTEN!

You don't know jade. I don't either. How do you feel qualified to judge what she does or doesn't do? Now THAT'S disgusting.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 20 2019, 4:51 pm
amother wrote:
I’m just wondering if maybe just maybe you stopped to think that your posts and preaching and judging are rude? Or do you only (think you) see rudeness in other people? Maybe there’s things about me you don’t know that make it hard for me? Maybe I can’t afford it? Maybe something else? Ever hear about being dan lkav zchuss?


If there’s things that make it hard for you then tell us.

If I come on here and tell everyone that I punched someone in the nose today and everyone tells me that I’m violent, I can’t come back and cry that everyone is being so mean to me because I’m not really a violent person it’s just that the man was attacking me and I was trying to get away and people are so judgemental.

Your op basically said “I make a ton of Shalach Manos for my friends and if other people show up they are just so annoying.” That is a rude thing to say, so I pointed it out.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Wed, Mar 20 2019, 9:36 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
If there’s things that make it hard for you then tell us.

If I come on here and tell everyone that I punched someone in the nose today and everyone tells me that I’m violent, I can’t come back and cry that everyone is being so mean to me because I’m not really a violent person it’s just that the man was attacking me and I was trying to get away and people are so judgemental.

Your op basically said “I make a ton of Shalach Manos for my friends and if other people show up they are just so annoying.” That is a rude thing to say, so I pointed it out.


She is not required to justify herself to you I order for you to not judge her behavior and call her names. You are required to be dan lekaf zechus.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Mar 20 2019, 9:43 pm
amother wrote:
She is not required to justify herself to you I order for you to not judge her behavior and call her names. You are required to be dan lekaf zechus.


Ok. Have a happy Purim.
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amother




Indigo


Post  Wed, Mar 20 2019, 11:03 pm
amother wrote:
She is not required to justify herself to you I order for you to not judge her behavior and call her names. You are required to be dan lekaf zechus.



Look, she came on a public forum and described behavior that frankly is kind of rude. Maybe she's going thru 100 things in her life that justify what she did. However, she didn't include any of those details. People who post here she expect to get honest responses.
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amother




Mauve


Post  Wed, Mar 20 2019, 11:05 pm
Ha! I just ignored the door. But I mean c'mon, its 11pm, I have sleeping kids and I don't need a house full of drunk boys dancing around my living room.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 12:53 am
Didn’t read the whole thread, but I have to disagree with the people saying to recycle mishloach manot so you can give back to extras who come to the door. I’m preparing around 20 mishloach manot. I’m sure we will run out. But the mitzvah is to give ONE person two items. Of course it is great to do more than just the mitzvah. But I’m not going to prepare 50 because I think it’s a waste of money, and I’m not going to prepare 20 nice ones and 30 junky ones because I’m not wasting money on junk. And it is so obviously junk because EVERYONE ELSE IS REGIFTING IT! No one wants it!

So all this extra time, effort, and money is NOT to give someone something nice or thoughtful that they may appreciate, but just so that you can not feel socially awkward when you don’t have a mishloach manot to give back to someone who comes to your door. I would much rather spend money on matanot levyonim, than on preparing enough mishloach manot for the whole neighborhood. And regifting like I said is pretty pointless in my opinion, and though not a waste of money on my part, it’s a waste of time on Purim day.
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dee's mommy




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:19 am
Regarding the awkward situation of answering the door and your last shaloch manos package has already been given away: I have no problem saying "thank you, and sorry, I ran out of my own packages."

One year, I went to deliver to someone, and they explained that for that year, they had only made one package to deliver per member of their family. I had to admire that limitation, and I said so. I didn't expect anything in return.

For the most part, I don't expect people to give me shaloch manos just because I gave them.
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amother




Lilac


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:43 am
Ohhhh so this is why so many people are not home when I go to deliver my shalach manos.
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ra_mom




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:47 am
amother wrote:
Ohhhh so this is why so many people are not home when I go to deliver my shalach manos.

They definitely can't be out in the the car delivering like you - no way! Very Happy
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debsey




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:32 am
I do hide.

Not from people who came to deliver M"M, from drunk boys who want to come into my house when DH is not home.

I can't corral them into one spot and then get rid of them as efficiently as DH does.

I also host the Purim seudah, and it gets very big and loud and overwhelming.

One advantage of hosting, though, is that I can run to my bedroom and take a mini-break for a minute when the noise is too much for me.

So yeah, I get the impulse to hide. Just not from people delivering M"M. I'm usually touched that they made the effort to come.
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Metukah




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 4:19 am
Israeli_C wrote:
I'm hiding this purim because DH is insisting on inviting a non-vaccing family and all their kids. And we have two 3 months old at home. Oy.


That's not right.

Are you the host? The cook?... You should have the final say over who gets invited.
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amother




Babyblue


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 4:36 am
amother wrote:
Ohhhh so this is why so many people are not home when I go to deliver my shalach manos.


Yes, we are all incredibly rude social phobes.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 8:32 am
dee's mommy wrote:
Regarding the awkward situation of answering the door and your last shaloch manos package has already been given away: I have no problem saying "thank you, and sorry, I ran out of my own packages."

One year, I went to deliver to someone, and they explained that for that year, they had only made one package to deliver per member of their family. I had to admire that limitation, and I said so. I didn't expect anything in return.

For the most part, I don't expect people to give me shaloch manos just because I gave them.


Yes this is exactly what I mean! Answer the door and don’t feel bad that you don’t have one to give in return - you made the decision not to give everyone because you don’t need to give everyone - so be confident in that choice and handle it with grace and no feelings will be hurt.
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kislev




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 11:38 am
I hide on Purim but not when it comes to giving sholach manos....
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southernbubby




 
 
 


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 11:53 am
Some people are not home on Purim because they can't get the day off of work
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amother




Ivory


Post  Thu, Mar 21 2019, 12:05 pm
I am hiding right now. Sent my husband out with the kids, put my baby in for a nap, shut my ringer and got into bed- bliss
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OBnursemom




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 7:53 pm
I’m thinking I would prefer to be ignored by pretending to not be home, rather than letting me in, taking my MM and not giving me one of yours. If I knew you hadn’t intended to give me, I wouldn’t have trekked all the way over town to come to you in the name of (ostensible) friendship.
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