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Hurting for my child
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amother
Aubergine


 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2019, 3:32 pm
Hug

I really, really feel for both you and your daughter. It's almost twenty years later, yet I have never forgotten the deep, deep pain of my own cutting rejection- to my face, no less- by the head staff at my camp. I've been through a lot, but that slap of casually declaring my perceived shortcomings will always stand out. I didn't tell my mother, but you do know. Do what you can to show your dd that this doesn't define her. She is absolutely wonderful and just right the way she is. Because I let that encounter define me, and she shouldn't have to.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Wed, Mar 20 2019, 3:35 pm
amother wrote:
Hug

I really, really feel for both you and your daughter. It's almost twenty years later, yet I have never forgotten the deep, deep pain of my own cutting rejection- to my face, no less- by the head staff at my camp. I've been through a lot, but that slap of casually declaring my perceived shortcomings will always stand out. I didn't tell my mother, but you do know. Do what you can to show your dd that this doesn't define her. She is absolutely wonderful and just right the way she is. Because I let that encounter define me, and she shouldn't have to.


Of course I won't tell her what she said! I"ll just say it didn't work out blah blah.
I can relate to the feeling of rejection. I attempted to teach my first year back from sem, like a good girl following what all our teachers encouraged us to do, and I failed flat on my face big time and wasn't even given a proper chance. Although I've successfully worked in another place for many years since, the pain and hurt from that one year has never left me.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 21 2019, 9:39 am
OP, support your daughter emotionally, and try not to let your own feelings show so much. She just needs a listening ear and some validation.

Remind her that Hashem runs the world, and that good things are ahead of her. We can't always see around the corner, but Hashem can.

This is a wonderful lesson for both learning to cope with disappointment, and for building emunah. When you think of it that way, it's actually a blessing in disguise. The lesson could have been taught in many more unpleasant ways, but you were given this one.

I hope you find the perfect job for her soon, so you can both relax.
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