Little Purim Vent | Imamother

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 11:44 am

Today is just not my day. I'm 16 weeks pregnant, still have morning sickness. I threw up after breakfast so was left shaky and weak but too nauseous to eat. Then took my baby to megillah reading where he actually behaved perfectly but the Baal koreh was awful and the kids were so loud that I missed too much and need to hear it again. My husband isn't home until this afternoon and the house is a disaster zone after yesterday's baking marathon. My baby screamed for 30 mins before his nap because he was so overtired and wouldn't settle and I'm just wiped! The end. Thanks for reading. Just needed to get it out.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 11:55 am

This is why people should not be bringing young children to megillah reading. OP, what if your baby hadn't been quiet? Would you have taken him out?
Last night I was sitting next to a 4 or 5 year old kid who couldn't stay still or stop whispering. The mother ignored her but it made things very difficult for me.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 12:02 pm

amother wrote:

Actually it had more to do with the Baal koreh than the kids. The one who read megillah last night was heard loudly and clearly over any noise made by any children. Today was just a mess. And yes, my plan was to take my baby out if he got too noisy but I know that with a bottle and blanket he'll be calm so I was prepared.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:02 pm

I'm sorry, it can be hard to juggle everything. Sounds like you are handling things like a champ. Good job.

And now, thoughts for next year. (Ignore if you wish.) Was your husband at work? If so, hire a babysitter. If not, he should be watching the kids. Your chiyyuv to hear megillah is exactly the same as his. Would he take children to shul to hear megillah? If not, why should you?

Happy Purim!

ra_mom

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:05 pm

First of all Hug

and B'shaah Tova!

Call a Rav. There are specific parameters for needing to hear Megillah again. You may be pleasantly surprised.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 1:58 pm

I went back to hear again and my husband stayed with the baby so all was well. He's actually a Rav and had to be at a specific function in another neighborhood in the morning so I guess you could call that work Smile

and he did pasken I need to hear again

Thank Gd the rest of the day is going better.

meyerlemon44

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:42 pm

amother wrote:

What are people supposed to do with their kids? There aren't enough babysitters to go around.

smss

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:45 pm

meyerlemon44 wrote:

What are people supposed to do with their kids? There aren't enough babysitters to go around.

Usually husbands and wives go to different readings so they can each watch the kids for each other.

smss

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:51 pm

I'm sorry OP, Purim is stressful enough and adding exhaustion and nausea to the mix just makes things harder! Is there any way your husband can give you a chance to lie down in the afternoon?

amother

Aqua

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 2:56 pm

smss wrote:

Usually husbands and wives go to different readings so they can each watch the kids for each other.

We tried this but it backfired because the reading times were too close and I missed part Can't Believe It

smss

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 3:04 pm

amother wrote:

We tried this but it backfired because the reading times were too close and I missed part Can't Believe It

So- if your kids will be quiet, great. If they won't then you gotta figure something else out...

teachkids

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 3:24 pm

amother wrote:

We tried this but it backfired because the reading times were too close and I missed part Can't Believe It

Then mention it to someone in charge so they leave more time between readings next year. I doubt you were the only one who struggled with it in this case.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 3:24 pm

I have been in readings where kids were literally running around and screaming and parents ignored. Last night the baal koreh was reading super quick and swallowing his words but I would have been able to keep up if not for the constant kid noise.
Yes, if your kid makes the noise the right thing is to take him out, but it may be too late if his noise already caused someone to miss some of the leining. It is very thoughtless and selfish to not realize that.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 3:34 pm

amother wrote:

We tried this but it backfired because the reading times were too close and I missed part Can't Believe It

When this happened by me one yr - we overlapped by about 10 mints -I took my kids and sat near the door so when my husband was done he was able to get them. This worked bec a - I was ready to leave if my kids starting disturbing at all b- I was fairly sure they would sit for the first 20 minutes nicely before starting to get jumpy at which point they would have been picked up by dh already.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 4:33 pm

smss wrote:

I'm sorry OP, Purim is stressful enough and adding exhaustion and nausea to the mix just makes things harder! Is there any way your husband can give you a chance to lie down in the afternoon?

Yes thank Gd. Baby is napping and mom is resting. Morning sickness doesn't take holiday vacation Wink

amother

Linen

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 9:02 pm

When my kids were little Purim was super stressful for me. I literally hated this holiday. Several times I had to hear again because of missing due to taking a child out. Or arriving a half minute too late because I couldn’t get out of the house with all the chaos going on. One time, a few weeks post partum, and ilI, I went to a small private reading for women. I relaxed and felt so good. Came home to drinking dh with his buddy and kids in totally ruined costumes eating all the nosh. And doing SPIN ART with PAINT in my living room. Unsupervised. Worst ever Purim. Someone at the seudah asked if I had post partum depression!!!

sarahmalka

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 9:32 pm

amother wrote:

OMG that's awful!
I really dislike this holiday, am hoping that as my kids get older I am able to enjoy this one more.

momof2+?

Thu, Mar 21 2019, 11:21 pm

Another linen, your post actually made me laugh bec of how realistic this scenario is, and how it rlly would be the ‘worst!’
Oooh that comment at the seuda probably clinched your day😤