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Ipod Touch for Sem- Aged Girl

 
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amother




Gold


Post  Fri, Mar 22 2019, 9:24 am
My daughter (19) wants to get herself an Ipod Touch.
I don't know about the norms in different communities, but my husband raised the issue that it might affect shidduchim (it looks like a smartphone, might make her seem too modern, etc.)
What are the norms in your society and what's your opinion?
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singleagain




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Mar 22 2019, 11:22 am
An iPod touch can basically do everything an iPhone can except make phone calls. If that's a problem in your community, you need to have a calm discussion with your daughter why you think it's a bad idea. But at 19, she's an adult and should be allowed to decide if this is the lifestyle she wants
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amother




Gold


Post  Sat, Mar 23 2019, 8:07 pm
I'd be curious to hear from different people in different communities if it's acceptable where they live
-op
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pesek zman




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Mar 23 2019, 8:40 pm
RW MO and I wouldn’t have an issue with it.
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1ofbillions




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Mar 23 2019, 9:02 pm
If your daughter wants to have an iPod touch then she should marry a guy who will be okay with that. I don’t get why people in the frum community fake being more religious than they actually are, for shidduchim. Do you want her to end up married to a guy who she’ll constantly fight with about what hashkafos/ level of exposure they should be teaching their kids?

It often happens that girls get married straight out of seminary, floating in their bubble of “I want to be as machmir as I can” and then life pops their bubble, and they’re married to a guy who they can’t relate to because they just don’t share the same values anymore. It’s awful when that happens, and it’s part of the reason why I didn’t date for a while after graduating sem.

In this case, your daughter’s bubble is already popped, and yet you’re thinking of having her marry a guy who she won’t relate to anyways? That’s really sad.
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amother




Peach


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:38 am
A 19 year old is an adult. Since she clearly is prepared to pay for this herself, your role is to calmly point out any possible consequences of her purchase, if any should exist in the circles in which she dates/will date. Then step back.
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amother




Magenta


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:57 am
Not so black and white, plenty of yeshivish people have, but will be,more acceptable if she takes it to TAG and puts a filter and does webchaver with a friend for accountability.
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:10 am
"Balabatish" Monsey here.
No one would blink an eye re: smartphone/ipod touch etc.. for a 19 year old BY graduate. If she was 14 probably some raised eyebrows and most schools would require it be "TAG -ED" but at 19, perfectly fine.
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Aylat




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:27 am
amother wrote:
I'd be curious to hear from different people in different communities if it's acceptable where they live
-op


RW dati leumi in Israel - no problem with it. 19 yo is an adult.
I do have ongoing conversations with my own kids (oldest is young teenager), and also with my pupils in the chiloni high school where I teach, about the pros and cons of phones/devices in general, the danger of addiction and how to mitigate it, and how it's important to be picky about the content you expose yourself to. If this isn't a topic you've discussed with your daughter, it might be a good idea to share your own experiences and thoughts about technology with her (in a non lecturing way since she is an adult now).
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:38 am
My seminary aged dds have filtered smartphones. One seminary requires the filter.

Chabad here. I don't know any chabad post HS people without smartphones.
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Israeli_C




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:49 am
amother wrote:
My seminary aged dds have filtered smartphones. One seminary requires the filter.

Chabad here. I don't know any chabad post HS people without smartphones.


I'm also chabad, and I don't have a smartphone, but I agree with you- I have never met another lubavitcher without a smartphone. I just find them irritating.
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amother




Honeydew


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:52 am
Some seminaries do not allow it
Depends how frum/chassidish you are
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amother




Ivory


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 10:51 am
In my community totally acceptable with a strong filter.

Seminary likely wouldn’t allow it. Not sure if your daughter is post sem yet.

-rw chabad
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amother




Forestgreen


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 1:06 pm
Israeli_C wrote:
I'm also chabad, and I don't have a smartphone, but I agree with you- I have never met another lubavitcher without a smartphone. I just find them irritating.


I'm the only one in my lubavitch family with a smartphone. My parents, siblings and husband don't have one.
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amother




Seagreen


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 1:45 pm
Apple does not make ipods any longer, not in several years
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 3:09 pm
amother wrote:
In my community totally acceptable with a strong filter.

Seminary likely wouldn’t allow it. Not sure if your daughter is post sem yet.

-rw chabad


My daughter is in beit chana tzfat seminary. Not sure if there is a more rw seminary then that. They allow filtered smartphones.

Actually I do know a few chabad people (very few) without smartphones. My sister in law doesn't have one. I met another shlucha at the kinus without one. I don't know if I can call myself RW chabad but most in my extended family certainly are and almost everyone has smartphones.
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amother




Burgundy


Post  Sun, Mar 24 2019, 4:20 pm
amother wrote:
Apple does not make ipods any longer, not in several years


They certainly do: https://www.apple.com/ipod-touch/
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