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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Pesach
Invited 4 seder. What to bring
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 6:56 am
I got invited for a seder with my 4 children. What is appropriate to bring as a gift?
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:01 am
It's always nice to offer to bring matza and wine. Other possibilities - serving dishes, a Pesach cookbook, a fancy hagaddah, ורחץ towels, Seder pillowcases. Depending on what your hosts eat, you can bring chocolates and/or a fruit platter. I find that most people have matza covers already. I suppose if your budget is generous, you could bring a becher.
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:09 am
Maybe some kiddie haggadah with pics or a pesach book to keep the little ones busy if she has kids
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dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:11 am
Some nice drinking glasses? If she doesn't yet have any appliance or gadget that she would like, like a standing mixer, a crepe maker for egg lukshen etc.
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happyone




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:26 am
amother wrote:
It's always nice to offer to bring matza and wine. Other possibilities - serving dishes, a Pesach cookbook, a fancy hagaddah, ורחץ towels, Seder pillowcases. Depending on what your hosts eat, you can bring chocolates and/or a fruit platter. I find that most people have matza covers already. I suppose if your budget is generous, you could bring a becher.


im sure the family factors in their guests when purchasing matza. A hostess gift is appropriate.
hand towels, nice washing cup, napkin rings, cloth napkins, serving tray, salad bowl, nice salad tongs or serving utensils, cookbook, something personal for hostess like a KLP hand cream, fingertip towels etc.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:34 am
happyone wrote:
im sure the family factors in their guests when purchasing matza. A hostess gift is appropriate.
hand towels, nice washing cup, napkin rings, cloth napkins, serving tray, salad bowl, nice salad tongs or serving utensils, cookbook, something personal for hostess like a KLP hand cream, fingertip towels etc.

We host for seders a lot and do shmura matza. In most communities, its acceptable and expected for hosts to ask guest to bring their own shmura matza and wine. We would not be able to have seder guests if we provided matza and wine (and we buy the cheapest optiona available!) for guests. And when I tell guests, they are always like “omg of course, we always do!!”.


Last edited by watergirl on Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:34 am
happyone wrote:
im sure the family factors in their guests when purchasing matza. A hostess gift is appropriate.
hand towels, nice washing cup, napkin rings, cloth napkins, serving tray, salad bowl, nice salad tongs or serving utensils, cookbook, something personal for hostess like a KLP hand cream, fingertip towels etc.


I factor in my guests when buying matzah and wine, but there are people whose budgets are tight and would appreciate their guests chipping in. I definitely think it's appropriate to offer.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:02 am
Absolutely ask first "What can I bring?"

If the hostess says "nothing", then bring a non-food item just to be on the safe side.

I've found that people who are generally "just plain frum", can become quite machmir on Pesach. Always err on the side of caution, and no one will be embarrassed.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:07 am
When invited for the seder, always offer to bring your own matza and wine. Anyway, bring your own wine/grape juice if you want to be sure that it’s something you like and could drink.
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:22 am
Definitely ask first.

In a pinch, what about flowers?

With regards to housewares, don't toivel in advance, unless you are really sure you are buying exactly what your hostess needs.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:28 am
amother wrote:
It's always nice to offer to bring matza and wine. Other possibilities - serving dishes, a Pesach cookbook, a fancy hagaddah, ורחץ towels, Seder pillowcases. Depending on what your hosts eat, you can bring chocolates and/or a fruit platter. I find that most people have matza covers already. I suppose if your budget is generous, you could bring a becher.

I was thinking wine and matza too. It’s probably factored in if they invited, but it’s a huge expense, so it would be nice to offer.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:29 am
Frumwithallergies wrote:
Definitely ask first.

In a pinch, what about flowers?

With regards to housewares, don't toivel in advance, unless you are really sure you are buying exactly what your hostess needs.


We don't use real flowers on pesach in our house. Just something to keep in mind.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:43 am
amother wrote:
We don't use real flowers on pesach in our house. Just something to keep in mind.


I'm curious why not. Wound you explain? I never heard this. Thank you!
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nicole81




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:46 am
So I do factor in wine and matzah when inviting guests and would never expect anyone to bring. I suppose it varies by community.

The nicest gift I ever got was a beautiful, high end set of salt and pepper shakers. I've been making pesach since my first year of marriage and have everything under the sun, but I'm one to buy housewares out of necessity, and not luxury. My friend must have noticed the previous year that I plunked the salt and pepper containers straight from the closet onto the table when someone asked.

I would have never bought the set, but I love them. Another gift this friend once brought that I really liked was a monogrammed hand washing towel.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:48 am
amother wrote:
I'm curious why not. Wound you explain? I never heard this. Thank you!


We're lubavitch and our Pesach chumras are really intense Smile. We don't put anything on the table that we can't insure is chometz free so flowers would fall under that category.
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:04 am
wine and grape juice, as much as you can afford is always a nice choice. Your hosts can use it during the seder and the rest of pesach and also after pesach, unlike matza. If you are bringing matza, let them know now so they don't over order. If they use processed items chocolate is also a good plan. If they "mish" you could offer to make dessert.

Toys for kids like plastic frogs or plague puppets is nice. Or a game they can play on yom tov.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:10 am
nicole81 wrote:
So I do factor in wine and matzah when inviting guests and would never expect anyone to bring. I suppose it varies by community.

The nicest gift I ever got was a beautiful, high end set of salt and pepper shakers. I've been making pesach since my first year of marriage and have everything under the sun, but I'm one to buy housewares out of necessity, and not luxury. My friend must have noticed the previous year that I plunked the salt and pepper containers straight from the closet onto the table when someone asked.

I would have never bought the set, but I love them. Another gift this friend once brought that I really liked was a monogrammed hand washing towel.


This. This is not done in our (MO) community.
Once we had a guest who bought his own (without asking in advance) and I was baffled and even a bit insulted TBH.
It was even stranger to us that he ate only his matzo and drank only his wine, refusing ours and not offering to share his.
I only understood in retrospect, when I saw it mentioned here on imamother that this was a thing.
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Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:14 am
amother wrote:
This. This is not done in our (MO) community.
Once we had a guest who bought his own (without asking in advance) and I was baffled and even a bit insulted TBH.
It was even stranger to us that he ate only his matzo and drank only his wine, refusing ours and not offering to share his.
I only understood in retrospect, when I saw it mentioned here on imamother that this was a thing.

No one said it is expected. We have company every year for the Seder, and I would never expect them to bring their own. However, it is a nice gesture, to acknowledge the additional expense.
A good hostess will either tell the guest what to bring, or say don’t bring anything. I tell my guests not to bring anything edible, all year round, because of kashrut concerns.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:15 am
happyone wrote:
im sure the family factors in their guests when purchasing matza. A hostess gift is appropriate.
hand towels, nice washing cup, napkin rings, cloth napkins, serving tray, salad bowl, nice salad tongs or serving utensils, cookbook, something personal for hostess like a KLP hand cream, fingertip towels etc.


Since Pesach is a month away, there is probably time to offer to fund the matzoh, wine, and grape juice.

Mazol and grape juice are appreciated by many.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 24 2019, 9:17 am
watergirl wrote:
We host for seders a lot and do shmura matza. In most communities, its acceptable and expected for hosts to ask guest to bring their own shmura matza and wine. We would not be able to have seder guests if we provided matza and wine (and we buy the cheapest optiona available!) for guests. And when I tell guests, they are always like “omg of course, we always do!!”.


I’ve read about people bringing their own matzah and wine on this site. Otherwise I have never heard of that.
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