What do people wear at a Pesach hotel?

amother

Cerise

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 6:56 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

I'm not the another that posted this, but I think you need to relax. Pesach hotels are mostly filled with wealthy people. That's just how it is.. obviously it's not 100% of the clientele and there will be a difference between Pesach 4 less and KMR, but if someone's spending mucho $$$$ to celebrate Pesach in Puerto Vallarta, they're probably not wearing Sketchers to the meal, know what I mean?

OP asked what is the norm. The norm is that people dress up. Don't like it? Don't want to be a sheep that does what everyone else is doing just because everyone else is doing it? That's cool, but it doesn't make it less of a fact that that's what most people will be doing. You can get all righteously indignant about it, but at the last Pesach program I was at, if I showed up in a snood, people would look down on me. That's fine if that doesn't bother you, but don't go telling people it's fine to shoew up in a snood if the very fast that they're asking shows they care about fitting in.

That's just not true, we go every year and we are not wealthy. We go because based on our life circumstances that's the way we need to make pesach. I have been to many programs and none of them were filled with wealthy people. Actually most were regular simple middle class people. There are some programs that are geared to wealthy people but so many are not. You do research and go to the ones with similar people.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 6:58 pm

amother wrote:

Just because someone spends money on a hotel program, it doesn’t mean they will choose to wear fancy clothes. Not everyone prioritizes clothing when they spend their $$$.

I’ve been to several Pesach hotel programs. I don’t think everybody would have looked down on you for wearing a snood at all, I think your perception of what is expected is warped. I didn’t personally mention snoods, but at all the programs I have been on, many hair coverings were worn, not just sheitels. And you are right, I am proud not to be a sheep. The norm is that some people get dressed up all the time, probably those seeking validation from others. I would rather have an enjoyable and comfortable meal with my family than worry about what the fashionistas at the other tables think of me.

I posted the exact same response. Maybe we'll meet one day in one of the programs.....

amother

Oak

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 7:11 pm

OP, I'm also going to a Pesach program for the first time. I don't give a hoot what other people think of me but I do want to feel good about myself. It's all about me enjoying the experience. I bought some new separates and put outfits together. I've already planned what I'm going to wear to the sedarim and first 2 days. For chol hamoed, I'll wear nice everyday clothes. Maybe I'll change my outfit if there's a concert at night. Maybe. Maybe not. I'll see how I feel.

I've also bought new makeup. Again, it's all about me feeling good about myself and that's what I enjoy. I am experimenting with what works when I apply certain makeup before Shabbos and how long it lasts.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 8:34 pm

I've been to pesach programs all over the world. At yom tov night people are dressed up in nice shabbos outfits but during the day many dress down. Especially in places where the weather is hot, people change after the meal during the afternoon, into comfortable semi shabbos clothing (think long skirts not robes). On chol hamoed, in hot weather places like Mexico and Florida, most people are dressed very casual/ pool attire. Some change into nicer weekday outfits at night if there is a concert or some other entertainment.

amother

Gold

Sun, Mar 24 2019, 10:20 pm

amother wrote:

Most pesach hotels cost 20k per family or more. So it is mostly wealthier people who can afford that.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 8:20 am

I've only been to one Pesach hotel, so take it for what it's worth.

The majority of the women there wore long evening gowns, worthy of the most expensive wedding, or maybe the Oscars. Extremely long sheitels, and 4 inch heels at all times.

Don't forget to bring your double stroller, even if your youngest is 6 years old. Take up as much room in the elevator as possible, and push the "door close" button if you see someone elderly trying to get on.

Never forget that it is always more important for your kids to get to the dessert table FIRST, and run interference to make sure that the other kids have to wait behind you.

Children are always safe running up and down the hallways, or even in the lobby. No need to keep an eye on them, no matter how young they are.

Confused

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 8:51 am

I've been going to several different high-end Pesach programs for years in the NY tri-state region and have not seen so much as one woman wearing a gown. The women dress in the expected Shabbos/Yom tov clothing on Shabbos/YT, and casual, but nice weekday clothing on Chol U'moed. Not everyone wears tall heels. Some programs do in fact, attract women who dress in fancier clothing but I haven't found it to be the norm in most programs. I haven't taken a survey, but it appears that one outfit/day is worn, or at least that's what I wear. Most women wear some sort of head covering, mostly sheitels, a few nice berets, no chenille "mushroom" snoods, and oh, I've never seen anyone walking around in robes.

TranquilityAndPeace

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 8:59 am

I've been to fancy and simpler Pesach programs, because my father gives the hechsher.

I do remember one woman whom it was fun to watch: she changed 3x a day and also changed all her accessories! It was in Florida, she changed her sunglasses and jewelry too! I remember that someone asked her how many suitcases she had brought from Brooklyn and she said 12. 😂😂😂😂

The hotels always have a variety of people wearing a variety of types of clothing!

The hotel I go to now, Pocono Manor, has a handful of women out of about 200 who wear 4" heels. It's about a 2-3 minute walk, including some steps, from my room to the dining room - I can't get that far in high heels!!!

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:19 am

TranquilityAndPeace wrote:

I agree with you, there's always going to be someone who dresses the way you decribed but that really is the exception. If most women dressed that way, I wouldn't feel comfortable going to such a program. I find that it's, for the most part, the teens and women in their 20s that wear the 4" heels.
Eta: I've never been able to wear 4" heels, even as a teen. If I did, I would end up falling on my face, lol.

amother

Linen

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:21 am

amother wrote:

I feel good about myself if I get myself and all my family ready for Pesach whether that is at home or at a posh hotel. I don’t need to spend money on make-up and clothes to make my Pesach special. The things that make my Pesach special don’t cost money: my three-year old learning the Ma Nishtana, the haggadot my children made many Pesachs ago but still use.

And if it means that other women at Pesach programs think my face is too bare and my clothes too boring, so be it. Hanging out with people so fixated on externals is not my idea of a fun Pesach at all.

amother

Natural

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:25 am

This makes me so glad for our summer home where we spend some YTs!
We have some millionaires who will sponsor entire meals for the colony, or a nights or days entertainment.
But everyone dresses equally casual! Maybe expensive casual I don’t really know how much everyone’s robes cost.
Everyone’s kids are running around in gap hoodies getting sticky and muddy.
If I’ve been considering a Pesach hotel before, this just turned me off. Gonna squeeze into a hotel room with all the kids and then worry about impressing others? Heck no! I’d rather be at the shvigger!

DrMom

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:31 am

amother wrote:

The “rule” is!? Who makes this rule? Is it in the Torah? Is it a set of rules that snooty people who look down on others make? I have never heard those rules before. Nor would I follow them. And not all of us want to “pretend” to be wearing nice outfits by wearing costume jewellery pieces. I have been to Pesach hotels and I did not feel the need to change each meal. I am sorry if that means you and your friends were looking down on me for not following your asinine rules.

I think the poster was just giving tips for how to take a relatively simple wardrobe and dress it up without investing a lot of $ and without overpacking.

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:31 am

This is how I think
Wear what you would wear on YT to go to shul.
Wear what you would wear to go to a nice family restaurant (NOT A PIZZA STORE) on Chol Hamoed.
I wouldn’t go to a restaurant or even grocery shopping in a robe.

And just as a side note. Really wealthy ppl don’t dress up. Only those that have to prove something do. There are billionaires (more than one) in my community and they are simple sweet ppl.
They put on shoes one foot at a time like everyone.

amother

Pearl

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:51 am

Most of the responses here are spot on but some are totally off.
I've been going to Pesach hotels since I was a little kid and throughout my whole life including as a wife and mother.
We go to high end programs.

We do NOT change for every meal. Nor is anyone "expected" to. I don't know why this rumor started... yes there may be people that do, but there are just as many people that don't. Breakfast, kiddush, and lunch are the same outfit for 95% of people.... That being said, YT days are long and in a hot climate where you might sit outside at the pool/take a nap during the day, it sometimes make sense logically to change an outfit for the evening. For "shalishudis" type evenings people may change into a more casual shabbos day outfit or even a maxi dress (NOT an evening gown..!!) Alternatively, if the night time is a new YT (like second day YT or beginning of shabbos), many will put on a new outfit. I think many people would do this at home as well..... Its a lot to wear the same outfit from 8 or 9 am through the day and past candlelighting at 8 pm when the new YT starts. BUT, if you do, no one will say anything, stare at you, or whisper amongst themselves. People dont care!

On a regular chol hamoed day, you wear the same thing for all 3 meals..
If there is some special event at night u want to dress up for, or you went swimming and showered, please do feel free to change. Again, common sense.

As for dress code... Id say there is about 10% of people who are super fancy with high heeled wedges during chol hamoed. the rest of us normal people who want to stay comfortable wear nice/everyday looks or casual shabbos if that's your minhag.

Bottom line, bring extra clothing if you are going to a hot climate/have lttle kids and may get dirty, etc. Wear things your feel nice AND comfortable in. Dont stress.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Mar 25 2019, 10:08 am

amother wrote:

Well said!