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OUT OF CONTROL Purim Parties, Accurate or Exaggeration?
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amother




Ivory


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 11:51 am
leah233 wrote:
This doesn't sound true. Which private individual would spend a quarter of a million dollars on a public Purim party? No one advertised that event so how did word get around? Why weren't there pictures of the superstars singing in Lakewood on any Lakewood news website (MBD came to BMG)

It was pouring rain after Purim. Were the boys and girls mingling all over the nearby streets in the pouring rain?

Finally the type of boys and girls who would go to such events and act that way don't limit that behavior to Purim so it's not a "Purim party" issue.They would be acting that way with or without a major party.

There are enough bans already. As someone who supports most bans the imamother war against people enjoying Purim is just taking things too far even for me.

Before Purim it's the MM. Closer to Purim it's the Suedah. After Purim it's the parties. With plenty of other kvetching along the way.

Enough already.


MBd, shulem, shweky among many others had jobs Purim first night I lakewood j. One person who is a semi popular one man band told me he gets 10-15 k for paying Purim night. The big stars are way more.

My in laws live across from yeshiva. Boys keep coming until 11:30 pm to party until we ask them to leave. When they come just to use the bathroom it’s upsetting as my in laws are poor elderly people with one bathroom and many people and there is a dorm and yeshiva across the street. (They are too fine to ever say anything. It’s the kids who pony this out).
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amother




Purple


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 12:17 pm
A few decades ago in Baltimore, there was a drunk driving accident on Purim involving Ner Israel yeshiva boys collecting (a boy was killed). Ever since, the yeshiva put a ban on collecting on Purim. They allow boys to go out prior to Purim but not on the day itself to prevent a tragedy like that happening again.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 12:21 pm
amother wrote:
A few decades ago in Baltimore, there was a drunk driving accident on Purim involving Ner Israel yeshiva boys collecting (a boy was killed). Ever since, the yeshiva put a ban on collecting on Purim. They allow boys to go out prior to Purim but not on the day itself to prevent a tragedy like that happening again.


It was such a tragedy. Growing up my favorite part of Purim was the net Yisrael boys coming and dancing. My parents always let us stay up until they came. They went to everyone rich or poor.
Now groups mainly go to the rich.
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amother




Forestgreen


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 12:39 pm
amother wrote:
A few decades ago in Baltimore, there was a drunk driving accident on Purim involving Ner Israel yeshiva boys collecting (a boy was killed). Ever since, the yeshiva put a ban on collecting on Purim. They allow boys to go out prior to Purim but not on the day itself to prevent a tragedy like that happening again.



This happened in Monsey as well. A car of yeshiva boys collecting crashed into a pole on a dark corner on Purim night. I was in my first year of hs. I remember another girl in my hs telling us how that Purim night she woke up to hear her parents crying. Her brother was one of the boys who was killed. My next-door neighbor had to be cut out of the metal of the vehicle, Hatzalah saved his life.

So what came out of that is that the boys have to have a designated not-drinking driver. But they still go around drunk. It's not enough of a solution.
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amother




Slateblue


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 1:57 pm
The PA in the nursing home where I work told me he worked for years in the emergency department of out local hospital and every purim they treated dozens of young teenagers with severe alcohol intoxication. Medical emergencies. The hospital staff would expect it.
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amother




Linen


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 3:01 pm
Change does happen but unfortunately only after tragedy. Anyone else grew up in Boro Park and remember the boys dancing in open trucks. It was only after a boy or boys fell off the truck while it was driving that they started using only buses.
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groisamomma




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 3:35 pm
amother wrote:


At a different Shul party, Hatzolah had to be there so many times it is not possible to count. One kid after the next was carried out, as children of all ages managed to get toasted on all types of hard liquor. Of course, the wonderful Baalei Batim of this Shul were writing checks while the 13 year old boys got hammered on as much liquor as they wanted.


I believe the 250K party with all the famous singers, etc. that the author is referring to is in the shul right outside Westgate called Lutzk Shul. I was horrified Purim night. There were literally hundreds of men and boys, meshulachim, groups, and just plain losers spilling over onto the street. The property was filled with groups of young bochurim freely smoking who-knows-what with absolutely no supervision. There were paid policemen directing traffic and walking drunk young boys across the avenue so they wouldn't get hit. How is it even legal as a law enforcement officer to turn a blind eye to this? Hatzala was there on what seemed like a steady rotation. On one trip back from ds's yeshiva his friends pointed out some seventh graders they knew (7th grade kids!!). Where are these mothers at 1 am??

I was so grateful that ds's mesivta doesn't allow the bochurim to go collecting at night, even for the yeshiva. While it's a huge loss for the yeshiva (face it, that's when people give), the mesivta has a learning seder with a mesiba and entertainment for the boys instead.
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amother




Ecru


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 4:03 pm
amother wrote:
It was such a tragedy. Growing up my favorite part of Purim was the net Yisrael boys coming and dancing. My parents always let us stay up until they came. They went to everyone rich or poor.
Now groups mainly go to the rich.


Sorry, but I have to say that the underlined is totally not accurate. I have no connection to Ner Israel. But we are POOR living in a CHEAP and POOR neighborhood and the Ner Israel bachurim come to us every year a couple of days before Purim.
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sarahmalka




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 5:46 pm
Omg this thread is so depressing, I had no idea!! Crying reading this. As a BT in an OOT community I have seen nothing like what has been written here and didn't know it existed.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 6:12 pm
No, the party they are talking about was not in Lutzk
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amother




cornflower


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 6:53 pm
Just a side note: WHY IS THERE LOADS AND LOADS OF ADVERTISING BEFORE PURIM AND ALL YEAR FOR ALL KINDS OF WINE & HARD LIQUOR????
This is something new....Wine Producers & Wine stores spend Hundreds of Thousand Dollars to "promote" drinking...It became a HIGH CLASS shtick....
What is YOUR opinion about that???
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amother




Ivory


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 7:00 pm
amother wrote:
Sorry, but I have to say that the underlined is totally not accurate. I have no connection to Ner Israel. But we are POOR living in a CHEAP and POOR neighborhood and the Ner Israel bachurim come to us every year a couple of days before Purim.


I should have specified where I live now. No groups come to dance. It’s funny - a rich person just moved to our very plain poor neighborhood. He prepared for big crowds but no one bothers with us so no one came. So he served all the neighbors royally.
I have a friend whose husband used to be very wealthy and they had crowds coming to dance and hundreds of mishloach manos. Then he lost everything. Not one group came to her home that year
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amother




Blue


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 7:50 pm
sarahmalka wrote:
Omg this thread is so depressing, I had no idea!! Crying reading this. As a BT in an OOT community I have seen nothing like what has been written here and didn't know it existed.


I'm FFB and I don't live OOT. I'm "in town". I've seen nothing like this either. I knew people made parties, but I think the hype and numbers here are a figment of someone's imagination. Or maybe we're both out of the loop, sarahmalka.
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Sebastian




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 7:55 pm
amother wrote:
Just a side note: WHY IS THERE LOADS AND LOADS OF ADVERTISING BEFORE PURIM AND ALL YEAR FOR ALL KINDS OF WINE & HARD LIQUOR????
This is something new....Wine Producers & Wine stores spend Hundreds of Thousand Dollars to "promote" drinking...It became a HIGH CLASS shtick....
What is YOUR opinion about that???


b/c they want to make $$$$ and it's a mitzva to drink on Purim so ppl. stock up. That's also why they advertise a lot before Pesach.

I've never seen any of these parties. Dh has a glass or 2 of wine at the seuda. He doesn't drive afterwards nor does he get drunk, destructive or out of control.
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amother




Salmon


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 8:58 pm
In our shul the Rav got up before ein kelokeinu and spoke to the shul about not serving any minors drinks, about not driving after drinking at all, and about knowing where your kids are and what the supervision will be (even at Mesibas at yeshiva or at a rebbe’s house). People were appreciative that this message was shared in public with the entire shul.
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amother




Black


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 9:05 pm
amother wrote:
Leah 233, there were actually videos posted online of the singers at the private party. I don't know how to link, but check out the Lakewood scoop instagram.


Yup. I saw the videos there earlier today, singers in a tent, loud music dancing and all.

Was this a first time huge Purim bash for the "Askan" spoken about in the article?

Doesnt this Askan have a Rov?
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amother




Navy


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 11:18 pm
amother wrote:
This happened in Monsey as well. A car of yeshiva boys collecting crashed into a pole on a dark corner on Purim night. I was in my first year of hs. I remember another girl in my hs telling us how that Purim night she woke up to hear her parents crying. Her brother was one of the boys who was killed. My next-door neighbor had to be cut out of the metal of the vehicle, Hatzalah saved his life.

So what came out of that is that the boys have to have a designated not-drinking driver. But they still go around drunk. It's not enough of a solution.


The driver was not drunk, he was older and a very responsible person. It was a bad intersection where you come down a hill and all of the sudden you are at an intersection. What came out of this is that they put a blinking light by that intersection.
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amother




Mistyrose


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 11:30 pm
amother wrote:
Knowing the editor of that site, I can assure you these reports are greatly exaggerated, if at all having even a remote grain of truth. Sensationalism at its best.

Next.

Not exaggerated at all. I saw it with my own eyes.
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gila-rina




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 11:48 pm
Re collecting for yeshivos: in one of my kids' classes only 3 kids went collecting. The rest found sponsors to sponsor a few hours of learning Purim night. I think that is an ideal solution.
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gila-rina




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Mar 25 2019, 11:52 pm
Another son went to someone's seuda - the Baal habais pays bochurim to come to seuda and make it leibadik.
There are safe, respectable and responsible ways to make money for yeshivos.
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