Monsey commuting to Passaic girls school

ShishKabob

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

Totally not true. Not my experience and not the experiences of most people I know. Not yeshivish, I mean modern. Yeshivish is the same elitist like Chassidim and they don’t either accept anyone.

Modern schools will accept kids from Chasidish families if they are able to keep up with the academics. I know many parents who switched into those. Boys with long peyos among kids with long hairdos. Chasidish schools won’t even accept their own parents if they don’t like one tiny thing that they decided to obsess over.

Pumpkin, in general, not only with the schooling situation.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 1:17 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

Pumpkin, in general, not only with the schooling situation.

Yes, in general as well. Chassidim aren’t even accepting of other Chasidish groups, much less anyone they deem less frum. And modern people may as well be non frum to them. Modern people at least accept more right wing people as frum and Jewish and act civilly to them.

ShishKabob

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 1:21 pm

amother wrote:

I respectfully disagree. Of course, this is my personal experience and you are coming from your personal experience as well. so there we go.
I do agree about the chassidim not accepting other chassidim in their schools as well.

amother

Teal

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 5:11 pm

In my opinion, I think I think chasidim are more accepting of other Jews than non-chasidim towards chasidim.
In my chasidus, it is halacha for a three year old girl to wear tights. Not minhag. Not chumra but halacha. I went to a doctor with her and a non-chasidish women wrinkled her noise and commented loudly for all to hear.

amother

Teal

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 5:19 pm

amother wrote:

I'm sorry OBnursemom, but it's foolish and unrealistic to think that all types of girls of all different frumkeit levels, ranging from ultra chassidish to ultra modern, can go to school together. Please don't tell me that you really think this is normal, feasible, realistic, and makes sense. There are all types of schools for a reason. Parents choosing the right school for their kids that are in line with their hashkafa, does not make the parents elite, holier than thou, and snot as you call it. It makes the parents realistic & that they send where they belong. It's not possible for one school to cater to all types of jews of all levels of frumkeit and hashkafa because every parent will demand something else. Please think into it before you call me and my kids "snot".

There is another aspect to this "system" that people refuse to admit.
1)there are parents that are offensive and will insist on putting their kids into a chasidish school and dress and do things that are offensive to the culture. (We live with Chinese and there are things you just dont do because of basic derech eretz to the culture)
2)there are parents that want to be part of frum culture but really could not care less about
halacha and yiddishkeit.
THIS IS PARTLY TO BLAME FOR THIS MESS OF NOT ACCEPTING CHILDREN BASED ON EXTERNALS.

amother

Teal

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 5:28 pm

amother wrote:

We live in Boro Park and left a very busy dental practice because they are run by modern
Jews who hate Chasidim and Litvish: chareidim. They are loud and vulgar about their opinions, making comments about men not working and ladies having babies.
As far as I know their clients are mostly non-Jews now.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Apr 01 2019, 5:29 pm

I have felt discriminated against/very excluded in the workplace where other employees' affiliation was different than my own.
It is painful to me, and I sometimes feel limited in the business world, but I don't have any complaints. It is very natural for people to judge others based on their preconceived notions.
But then, I've also been in settings with all types of men and women, where I've felt treated like an equal according to what I was able to offer.
Being DLZ, DH tells me that the painful parts are just perceived based on my inferiority complex due to my own feelings on my background (my parents 'converted' affiliations).

amother

Mustard

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 10:14 am

amother wrote:

Some people who consider themselves very open-minded are in fact the ones who are so closed-minded that they look down on anyone who does things differently than them.
I see this often on this board.

I once took my son to a frum psychologist.
His arrogance and prejudices of chasidim were transparent and shocking.
He asked my son what chasidish boys discuss in yeshiva if they can’t talk about sports.
My son is actually very intelligent-he can have intellectual conversations.
This is just one example of the preconceived notions he had.

Mommyg8

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 9:04 pm

amother wrote:

Chassidim are way more accepting of litvish/yeshivish/modern than the other way around.

This has completely not been my experience. In any way shape or form.

My experience has been that yeshivish are way more accepting of Chassidim than the other way around.

Mommyg8

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 9:09 pm

amother wrote:

And what do you think happens when a girl in bobby socks walks by some Chassidish women?

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 9:51 pm

amother wrote:

It is both a chumra and a minhag. But how does your story show that chassidim are more accepting of other Jews?

amother

Royalblue

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 9:54 pm

amother wrote:

How does that show he looked negatively at your son? It sounds like he was trying to make conversation and get to know him. Either way, are chassidish boys allowed to play or follow professional sports?

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 10:29 pm

amother wrote:

Many chassidish girls wear socks after three. Its a chumra and minhag, not halacha.

For you it is a chumra and minhag. For us it is halacha. You can have a nice conversation with one of our dayanim, if you want to, just like I did when my daughter turned three. This is just another example of how many people perceive certain things done by certain chasidish groups and make ignorant conclusions.
There are 70 ways to interpret the Torah. I never said mine is the correct one. But it is the correct one for me.

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 10:31 pm

amother wrote:

Read it again. It sounds like he was arrogant and ignorant and not civil towards the culture of chasidim.

There is more to a question than just the words. The mother saw the body language and her perception was probably on target.

amother

Teal

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 10:37 pm

amother wrote:

The mother is following her instincts. There is more to a question than just words. There is body language.
I am not sure why you are challenging this mother when she is doing the right thing by her son. By not taking him to a person who shows disrespect to her son's culture.

amother

Ivory

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 10:43 pm

Amother teal, whats halacha is halacha for everyone. Halacha is written in the torah. A dayan does not make up halacha. A dayan's p'sak is not halacha. There's no such a thing of a halacha pertaining just for your chassidus. That's a chumra & minhag.
Btw, we are chassidish.

amother

Mustard

Tue, Apr 02 2019, 10:43 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you,

This was just one example.
I don't feel the need to defend myself and so I will not elaborate.