Coworker/Friend slacking off, what to do

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 8:30 pm

I am one of two managers at the company I work for. Over time I've become good friends with the other manager. Lately she is slacking off and the company is suffering because of it. We have been getting complaints from clients and I've been covering for her whenever possible, but it's getting worse.

I know my first responsibility is to the company, but it's hard because we're friends and this is the first time I've ever been in such a situation. I've tried discussing it with her, but she has all kinds of excuses, such as, she worked so hard on that last project she deserves some chill time, nobody is complaining to her so they're obviously not complaining, the boss doesn't appreciate her so why work so hard, if there's a problem or complaint she will deal with it then, when make herself crazy to be perfect.

My boss has discussed this with me in the past, and I've acknowledged his concerns while trying my best to not make her sound too bad.

Today two employees on her team came to me separately to complain that she's disregarding any concerns they have which is making it difficult for them to do their work properly. My boss also came to me to ask me about some complaints he had gotten. We got interrupted right away and so he told me he wants to meet with me tomorrow to discuss this further.

I know I have to be honest with him tomorrow about what's going on, but I'm afraid she's going to lose her job over this. I know it's not my fault, but I still feel so guilty about it. I know what I have to do, but I don't want to!

causemommysaid

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 8:40 pm

I dont think you need to go out of your way to throw her under the bus but if your boss asks about it then you better be honest or you can lose your job too. It sounds like he already knows about the problem without you telling him so it's not really like you did anything.

amother

Lemon

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 8:57 pm

Is it possible to have a good firm conversation with you friend about what's been going on? Can you have this conversation in a way that you don't let her off the hook so easily? Maybe she thinks she's getting away with it but if she realized she's not, she'd straighten up.

ohmygosh

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 9:20 pm

I think you're being dishonest with your boss and cheating him out of potential business if you are not honest with him about what's going on. You have already brought it up with your friend and she is choosing to continue doing what she's doing. It affects his income and I think it wouldn't be right of you not to tell him.

It's not like you're going to him. He is coming to you with this concern. You need to be honest.

amother

Coffee

Tue, Mar 26 2019, 11:42 pm

Thanks everyone. I know what I have to do, it's just hard to do it. I've spoken to her in the past and so has my boss. With me she brushes it off, with him she promises to do better, does better for a few days and then it's over. My boss is really considering letting her go, but he knows that I know more than him about what's really going on and how much she really isn't doing.

She blames the issues on the people on her team and to an extent she's right, but it's her responsibility to manage them correctly. For some reason she won't acknowledge that. Because I'm more involved in the day to day of the business than he is, I'm the one who really knows how many of the problems would be solved if she would get more involved. It's harder for him to know for sure what she really could have avoided or changed if she was managing correctly.

Oh well, it's going to be a hard day tomorrow. I really just had to get this off my chest and I can't discuss it with anyone IRL because they will all know who I'm talking about. So I appreciate that you are all listening.

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 6:01 am

I want to second amother champagne who said to check the halachos (a Rav would be best to consider the whole situation and I think I’ve heard of a hotline for shmiras Halashon questions) It may not be so straightforward as you think.
Hopefully you will feel guided and settled once you know that clearly.

imasinger

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 6:13 am

Hatzlacha, OP. Walking that line between tact and honesty is always a challenge. Whenever you can, stick to facts and details.

If your friend has been not doing a good job and slacking off repeatedly despite warnings, it's possible that shielding her from consequences is not in her best interests. And it's certainly not in yours, if you're trying to do half of her job plus your own.

May you find clarity and strength today.

ShishKabob

Thu, Mar 28 2019, 11:16 am

I would tell the boss outright, that she's a good friend of mine and it's putting me in a problem position. I would also tell my boss to please handle this himself and leave me out of it. If he thinks she needs disciplining he should deliver it himself and not through me, the middle person. It's so tough. However, please don't own your friends problems and issues. She is your friend and you can try to stick up for her and point out her strengths without minimizing the need for improvement.
OP, what happened?