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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training
My daughter refuses...



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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Mar 26 2019, 11:16 pm
My 4 year old still refuses to go #2 on the toilet. She insists on going in a pull up. Any suggestions? I tried miralax, major bribery, then punishment, but she is so stubborn and will hold it in no matter what. (She is not dry yet during the night, so I have to put a pullup on her at night, and she will wait until she is wearing the pullup to go...) TIA!
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:11 am
Sorry no advice just want to say I have the same issue with my headstrong daughter. It’s frustrating!! She’s a pro with using the bathroom just won’t do it.
Good luck!
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amother
Teal


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:44 am
I don't know what you would do for a 4 yr old. My DS did this when I started to toilet train him at 2.5 so I started training him for the night right away. Try to work on her being dry at night first. I wean from a bottle before I trained my kids. (They go to the bathroom before they go to sleep and if they didn't end up falling asleep for a while I would take them to the bathroom again before they fell asleep) maybe once she is dry with miralax and accidents you'll succeed.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 9:27 pm
amother wrote:
Sorry no advice just want to say I have the same issue with my headstrong daughter. It’s frustrating!! She’s a pro with using the bathroom just won’t do it.
Good luck!

Glad to know Im in good company! I wonder if its just a control thing-she is extremely stubborn, or if there is real issue! Oh well, good luck to you too!
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 9:28 pm
amother wrote:
I don't know what you would do for a 4 yr old. My DS did this when I started to toilet train him at 2.5 so I started training him for the night right away. Try to work on her being dry at night first. I wean from a bottle before I trained my kids. (They go to the bathroom before they go to sleep and if they didn't end up falling asleep for a while I would take them to the bathroom again before they fell asleep) maybe once she is dry with miralax and accidents you'll succeed.

I hear what your saying for the future, I'm training my next one soon. Thanks!
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 10:22 pm
OP, have you tried putting her to bed without a pullup and waking her to use the bathroom????
Even if she will wet the bed, this might keep her back from going #2.
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gibberish




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 10:34 pm
She is probably afraid to go. Don't push too hard, but try to take baby steps. Have her go #2 in her diaper while sitting on the toilet. Once she feels comfortable with that, then try cutting a hole in the diaper and have her go in the diaper, but will land in the toilet. Then gradually wean off the diaper. I find pushing too hard makes kids even more afraid. She will get there!! Good luck!
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 10:57 pm
amother wrote:
OP, have you tried putting her to bed without a pullup and waking her to use the bathroom????
Even if she will wet the bed, this might keep her back from going #2.

No. I really don't like the idea of waking up my kids. I honestly don't think she would cooperate, she is so stubborn! But I may try it! I have been thinking about it. Im just nervous that she will hold it in for longer, and that is very unhealthy!
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 10:59 pm
If you don't want to wake her, that's also fine. If she holds it in too long, you may need to gove her a laxative till she learns.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 10:59 pm
gibberish wrote:
She is probably afraid to go. Don't push too hard, but try to take baby steps. Have her go #2 in her diaper while sitting on the toilet. Once she feels comfortable with that, then try cutting a hole in the diaper and have her go in the diaper, but will land in the toilet. Then gradually wean off the diaper. I find pushing too hard makes kids even more afraid. She will get there!! Good luck!

I do have her do that-my pediatrician told me to. The problem is that she doesn't always tell me! She just waits until she is wearing the pullup and does her thing. When she does ask to go, I always make her go sitting on the toilet. Im totally with you that pushing her will make her more afraid, if she really is afraid-it can also make her muscles tense up, and that also makes it hard to go. Im curious-did you have any personal experience and success with this?
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gibberish




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 11:09 pm
amother wrote:
I do have her do that-my pediatrician told me to. The problem is that she doesn't always tell me! She just waits until she is wearing the pullup and does her thing. When she does ask to go, I always make her go sitting on the toilet. Im totally with you that pushing her will make her more afraid, if she really is afraid-it can also make her muscles tense up, and that also makes it hard to go. Im curious-did you have any personal experience and success with this?
yes, it was slow progress, and it took a few months until my son felt comfortable. I never actually cut the hole in the diaper, but that was to be my next step if we needed it.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Wed, Mar 27 2019, 11:21 pm
gibberish wrote:
yes, it was slow progress, and it took a few months until my son felt comfortable. I never actually cut the hole in the diaper, but that was to be my next step if we needed it.

Wow! I'm glad to hear that there is hope! This has been going on for well over a year... Maybe I'll start making her sit every night with her pullup. Thanks!!
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Thu, Mar 28 2019, 12:08 am
amother wrote:
Glad to know Im in good company! I wonder if its just a control thing-she is extremely stubborn, or if there is real issue! Oh well, good luck to you too!


Thanks!
My pediatrician told me that it is a control issue for kids this age and not to push her and she will do it in her own time. I’m trying not to pressure my daughter I know that she would just dig in her heels and it would make it worse. But it’s hard not to!! It could be the same with your daughter it sounds like she has a similar strong personality.
I just tell myself that everyone starts using the bathroom at some point so it will happen eventually :-)
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Thu, Mar 28 2019, 12:11 am
My pediatrician also said that trying other methods leads the kids to hold it in etc and get constipated and that creates a new set of issues. She guaranteed me if I hold off the pressure it won’t take more than a few months for her to start going..
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creditcards




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 28 2019, 12:28 am
My 4 year old son stopped making #2 in his pull-up when I stopped putting on pullups for him. I bought him a water proof sheet protector that I can wipe clean with a cloth if I don't want to take it off to wash. He started waking cup dry sometimes since I took off the pull-ups. I don't bother waking him up in middle of his sleep.
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oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 30 2019, 11:03 pm
You might put books and a fun toy for her in the bathroom to distract her and help her relax.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2019, 10:53 am
Bribe
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amother
Orange


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:31 pm
she may have irritable bowel syndrome.
Which makes the act moving her bowels more sensory and scary.
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Fabulous




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:35 pm
my pediatrician told me to give her stuff to make it looser like miralax. It didn't work. It took months but literally from one day to the next she went on the toilet and we made a huge deal (had happened once or twice before and never took) and then she just continued. She had been toilet trained for 6 plus months by then. We started at 2 and 4 months. She was regularly trained by 2 and 5 months. She started going on the toilet #2 around age 3.
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