Age Inappropriate Bathroom Assistance (TMI)

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:08 pm

amother wrote:

I've done that when I was too busy with other things but he just waited. Got himself something to play with, chatted with his siblings etc.

I would try to keep doing that and maybe time it around some interesting activity. For example, if it’s right after dinner you could say that you’re all starting a family game and that since he’s a big boy he needs to take care of himself and if he could do so quickly you will wait for him to start the game. Of course, offer Tips and encouragement And he will need oversight in the beginning.

amother

Oak

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:10 pm

Omg amother yellow & lawngreen, you're literally making an issue out of a tissue!
Some kids learn faster than others, and that's ok!! Don't think so much into this.

mom2mysouls

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:15 pm

Wow so many replies about this! My son is almost 7 and still calls me to help. If hes in school or wherever, he deals with it himself.
It comes a point that they start wanting to do it themselves, for some later than others.

Im not wiping any of my teenagers and long before too. Guaranteed.

mommy3b2c

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:23 pm

mom2mysouls wrote:

This exactly. I never made a big deal and then they outgrew it.

gold21

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:38 pm

I most definitely do think boys are quite often different than girls in this regard. Girls at 7 are generally taking care of it themselves (though not always!) and boys are a mix, some are and some aren't.

Anyways, these rules are so arbitrary. Who decided what is appropriate help and what is inappropriate help? I mean, whatever. I'm not into rules. Your child is an individual, not a textbook. Please don't stress about it and just help the kid out. He won't be asking for your help when he's 10 years old, I can virtually garauntee that. He's 7, you're at the tail-end of it. He will be ready to do it in his own before you know it. Just don't make a big deal out of it and go with the flow.

gold21

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 12:45 pm

amother wrote:

seriously shocked some posters insist it’s nornal till age 8b Surprised

Imagine how often a 8 year old child is away from mom and needs to use the bathroom independently, but he lacks the necessary skills to confidently take care of himself.
By age 4 all my children self wipe. I teach them this necessary skill and over look that it’s done properly. I provide wipes, encouragement and tips. They become skilled enough to be able to look at a wipe and realize- all clean vs need more wiping, by age FOUR.
8 ??? Come on, stop coddling.

Yeah, yeah.

In a world with so many issues & problems, let's all be concerned with children whose moms don't make a big deal out of helping them in the bathroom until age 8. Huge parenting fail, I'm sure.

amother

Goldenrod

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 1:14 pm

My 4 yr old son also has sensory issues and I've always wiped him. Then he started to come home from school dirty and it really bothered me!
So I showed him exactly how to wipe, I put my hand on top of his and did it together so he got the full sensation and understanding how to do it. Btw do you use flushable wipes? That's what he uses and is much easier to clean.
In the beginning I had to encourage him to do it and now he just does the whole thing on his own, from start to finish and washes his hands after.

amother

Mustard

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 1:55 pm

Ds is 6.5 and I help only sometimes.

I tell him he has to try to clean himself first and if he uses 3 tissues and it’s still not good then I could help him.

Recently he had a stomach virus and had major diarrhea. He definitely needed help. After then, I think he realized that it’s not really too bad on a regular basis and hes been cleaning himself.
You have to insist he tries on his own first.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 2:20 pm

gold21 wrote:

He's 7, you're at the tail-end of it. He will be ready to do it in his own before you know it. Just don't make a big deal out of it and go with the flow.

Puns not intended? LOL

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 7:27 pm

gold21 wrote:

“ in a world with so many issues” ? lol .. How is that relevant? She posted on this topic and I replied. My opinion had nothing to do with other world issues.
This isn’t a “ huge parenting fail” I just prefer helping kids learn to be self sufficient -If it’s an age appropriate skill, I don’t see why not.

SuperWify

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 7:52 pm

It’s good op that your on top of it. I had a student (whom I loved dearly) but unfortunately didn’t grasp this skill yet in second grade and it was so hard to be next to him some days 🙁. I really felt for him but there was nothing I could say or do. I was scared of hurting him or insulting his parents. (Maybe I was wrong?)

I’m begging you to take care of it or your child might suffer from embarrassing situations with his teachers or friends. A coworker of mine once sent a child (he was 9) to the nurse because of this situation. You could imagine the poor boy was mortified and the parent called the teacher fuming.... although I would never do this there are some days I am very tempted and I hope your child’s teacher is sensitive to the situation.

gold21

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 8:05 pm

amother wrote:

You used two "shock" emojis. I mean, whatever. There are a lot more shocking things out there than this. That's all.

otsrock

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 8:08 pm

OT tip here: have him flush it first so that it doesn't smell. He may be sensitive to it. Another tip: you wipe him a little and then have him wipe a little when it's clean, then gradually leave more and more for him to do himself. When he feels successful wiping clean, he'll have more confidence to even TRY to wipe when he's a little dirty. Good luck!

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 8:20 pm

gold21 wrote:

You used two "shock" emojis. I mean, whatever. There are a lot more shocking things out there than this. That's all.

I really was shocked. I was under the impression that preschool teachers do not help with wiping, so to have a kid need assistance is almost handicapping him to only use the bathroom at home.
Not to mention 8 year olds. At play dates. Camp. Travel.

Rachel Shira

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 8:31 pm

amother wrote:

Preschool teachers definitely help their students wipe!

gold21

Wed, Mar 27 2019, 8:37 pm

amother wrote:

Lol, you are correct, my kids used to use the bathroom only at home until they felt ready to be independent in the bathroom. I didn't make a big deal out of it. I mean, I dunno, but that's how I am in general. I'm very low-key. That's my parenting style. I don't remember when they became fully independent in the bathroom... I guess second grade?

Hey, it's all water under the bridge now. My big ones are independent in the bathroom.... Lol. B"H. No concerns in that area. Cool

My child around the age range referenced on this thread is a girl, and is comfortable being independent in the bathroom. And obviously anyone younger than that is not applicable to this conversation.