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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:11 pm
My landlord is the nicest person, and very easygoing about everything. Sometimes too easygoing... she's a bit scatterbrained and not very organized etc, so she allows mail to accumulate in her mailbox to an alarming degree. Then she takes everything out and opens everything en masse, tearing up half the envelope, no less. Many many times, my mail gets caught in the mix because the mailman doesn't necessarily separate our mail into our respective mailboxes. So sometimes it's junk mail, and I couldn't care less, but a lot of times it's my bills, and they look like they were opened and then put back into their envelope. This feels quite violating, and I don't really know how to tell her about it. This morning she brought down a half torn open magazine that I receive as a monthly subscription (not cheap) and said her kids tore it open before she had a chance to read the label. The pages are all frayed and the spine is a bit crushed, and im annoyed because it's a magazine that I put on my coffee table in the living room, and now it's damaged. Any suggestions? Or should I just leave well enough alone?
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Sebastian
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:12 pm
can you check her mailbox for your mail?
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Fabulous
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:13 pm
I don’t know how I would go about it but it’s illegal, a federal offense. If it happened once or twice, fine, but this is not ok
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amother
Coffee
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:15 pm
amother wrote: | My landlord is the nicest person, and very easygoing about everything. Sometimes too easygoing... she's a bit scatterbrained and not very organized etc, so she allows mail to accumulate in her mailbox to an alarming degree. Then she takes everything out and opens everything en masse, tearing up half the envelope, no less. Many many times, my mail gets caught in the mix because the mailman doesn't necessarily separate our mail into our respective mailboxes. So sometimes it's junk mail, and I couldn't care less, but a lot of times it's my bills, and they look like they were opened and then put back into their envelope. This feels quite violating, and I don't really know how to tell her about it. This morning she brought down a half torn open magazine that I receive as a monthly subscription (not cheap) and said her kids tore it open before she had a chance to read the label. The pages are all frayed and the spine is a bit crushed, and im annoyed because it's a magazine that I put on my coffee table in the living room, and now it's damaged. Any suggestions? Or should I just leave well enough alone? |
Talk to the mailman and ask him to please put in an effort to separate the mail. That's his job.
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thunderstorm
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:15 pm
You can ask her to sort through her mail FIRST before opening envelopes. I do that because sometimes the mailman sends me my neighbors mail. Sometimes by accident we would open an envelope and then realize it doesn't belong to us. In that case we verbally apologize for the error and let them know we will be extra careful.
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1untamedgirl
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:17 pm
Make sure you have stickers with your name very visible on the mailbox and speak to the mailman/woman about separating the mail accordingly. You can also try calling the post office and talk to a manager there so that s/he can tell the mailman to put the mail in the right mailbox.
You can get always get a P.O. Box and forward your mail there for peace of mind.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:18 pm
I can look through her mailbox, and I do occasionally. The problem is she receives tons of mail and it's sometimes difficult to sift through it all. As for the illegality of it, she's the type that wouldn't even think of that angle because of said scatterbrained personality. And she doesn't necessarily look at the label before opening, so it's the type she opens it, reads the bill, realizes it's not hers, and then puts back into the envelope.
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amother
Royalblue
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:22 pm
So totally not ok.
I would have asked her for the price of a replacement mag, in the nicest way. Or atleast said oh it looks like I’ll have to buy it again can we try to look through the mail before we bring it up because it can get really frustrating when the kids get to it first.
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amother
Coffee
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:25 pm
amother wrote: | I can look through her mailbox, and I do occasionally. The problem is she receives tons of mail and it's sometimes difficult to sift through it all. As for the illegality of it, she's the type that wouldn't even think of that angle because of said scatterbrained personality. And she doesn't necessarily look at the label before opening, so it's the type she opens it, reads the bill, realizes it's not hers, and then puts back into the envelope. |
I don't think you can change her, but you can make some changes yourself. Check through her mailbox daily, so a large amount of mail hasn't accumulated, and as I suggested earlier, talk to the mailman. Mix-ups happen occasionally to everyone, but if this is a frequent occurrence, he/she needs to do a better job sorting thru the mail and placing it in the right box.
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amother
Navy
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:31 pm
Place a sign above/near the mailbox saying something to the effect of:
Dear Mailman:
Please separate our mail and place in the proper box, in order to ensure privacy.
Thank you for your consideration.
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causemommysaid
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:42 pm
Honestly she wont change. Just go through her box daily and take ur stuff out.
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amother
Saddlebrown
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:46 pm
This happened to us the opposite way. Our tenant opened our mail a few times, except we couldn't get our mail because it's dropped into the door slot into the apartment. We emailed the post office to let them know that our mail was being put in their slot. After emailing, we noticed an improvement in the mailman delivering letters correctly.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 6:52 pm
Thanks all. Will be in touch with the post office to be more organized with the mail. I'd rather avoid confrontation with her because she's really nice and we have a great landlord/ tenant relationship. I wouldn't want to ruin that.
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amother
Orchid
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 7:07 pm
You can also sign up for a daily email from USPS that shows all images of mail that will be delivered that day. This way ull know in advance to check the mail to make sure they didn't get any of ur mail. (I did it for myself and it's really great and useful esp if I'm expecting an important piece of mail)
https://informeddelivery.usps......ction
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amother
Pink
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 7:13 pm
I would tip the mailman and ask him nicely good luck! A tip doesn't have to be much really helps😊
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Willy mommy
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 7:51 pm
the only thing you can do is check daily her mail
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Willy mommy
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 7:52 pm
amother wrote: | I would tip the mailman and ask him nicely good luck! A tip doesn't have to be much really helps😊 |
that can help too
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sra
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Sun, Mar 31 2019, 9:15 pm
check her mail daily. I also used to have this problem until I started checking my landlord's mail daily. Or at the least bit, the day you are expecting your subscription, check. Good Luck
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ShishKabob
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Mon, Apr 01 2019, 11:50 am
It's not ok at all, part of Cheirim Drabbeinu Gershom.
I second the suggestions of getting to the mail first.
Last, if there's no other choice, you may have to bring it up with her.
G'luck
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meyerlemon44
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Mon, Apr 01 2019, 11:57 am
ShishKabob wrote: | It's not ok at all, part of Cheirim Drabbeinu Gershom.
I second the suggestions of getting to the mail first.
Last, if there's no other choice, you may have to bring it up with her.
G'luck |
TIL!
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