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Please help with training dd3.5

 
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Sun, Mar 31 2019, 10:53 pm
I’ve been training my dd for almost 6 months. She’s pretty good about using the potty when we’re home and I take off the pull up. But she’s very happy to wear it and pee in it otherwise. Also she was very scared to poop in the potty for a long time but now hopefully starting to move past that.

What should I do, take off the pull up and just put up with accidents or wait?
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amother




Lavender


Post  Sun, Mar 31 2019, 10:58 pm
Most kids won't bother using the toilet if they have a diaper or a pull up on. So decide if you're all in, or not.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Mon, Apr 01 2019, 12:10 pm
So just take off the pull up and if she has accidents that’s it?
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Mon, Apr 01 2019, 4:52 pm
Bump please advise.
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amother




Lavender


Post  Mon, Apr 01 2019, 4:55 pm
amother wrote:
So just take off the pull up and if she has accidents that’s it?


Sure. Give her a bunch of paper towels to wipe up the mess and remind her to use the toilet next time.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 01 2019, 7:55 pm
You're sure she's mature enough to understand that pee needs to go in the toilet, and that she needs to tell you that she needs to go, right?

I would do a one week "boot camp" with no diapers, and no underwear or tights. Let her pee on the floor, and have her help you clean it up. If she has an accident, do not make any reaction. Just be matter of fact and neutral. "You'll get it next time. Just tell me when you need to go, OK?" and then carry on with your day. Keep an eye on her, and if you see her doing the "pee dance" or looking uncomfortable, put her on the toilet right away.

Once she's on the toilet, read to her for a few minutes if she thinks she doesn't have to go. Once you've distracted her from being nervous, her body will take over. Once I had to read to DD for a half an hour, and then suddenly she went #2 in the toilet. She was so surprised! Surprised

Extra candies, a happy dance around the house, and we went out shopping for the panties of her choice (Hello Kitty). She never had another accident after that.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Mon, Apr 01 2019, 9:12 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
You're sure she's mature enough to understand that pee needs to go in the toilet, and that she needs to tell you that she needs to go, right?

I would do a one week "boot camp" with no diapers, and no underwear or tights. Let her pee on the floor, and have her help you clean it up. If she has an accident, do not make any reaction. Just be matter of fact and neutral. "You'll get it next time. Just tell me when you need to go, OK?" and then carry on with your day. Keep an eye on her, and if you see her doing the "pee dance" or looking uncomfortable, put her on the toilet right away.

Once she's on the toilet, read to her for a few minutes if she thinks she doesn't have to go. Once you've distracted her from being nervous, her body will take over. Once I had to read to DD for a half an hour, and then suddenly she went #2 in the toilet. She was so surprised! Surprised

Extra candies, a happy dance around the house, and we went out shopping for the panties of her choice (Hello Kitty). She never had another accident after that.


Yes she gets it and can do it. But for some reason she prefers the pull up if she can have it. I guess I will keep reinforcing using toilet and keeping pull up off at home.
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amother




Royalblue


Post  Mon, Apr 01 2019, 10:06 pm
Say goodbye to the pull ups, even make a show of it, say you're giving them to whichever little baby cuz she doesn't need them anymore, she gets big girl panties. Like FF said- take one week and no diapers. Deal with the accidents that will definitely come up calmly and matter of factly, let her wipe up the mess and remind her about the toilet. When she goes in the toilet, tell her how shes big now like... older siblings, or whoever.
When you give her a panty to wear, keep asking her, are you dry, and praise.
Mainly, YOU stay calm!
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monkeys




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Apr 02 2019, 2:06 am
You need to take away the pull up completely. Accidents are part of the learning process. Just deal with them calmly and stay positive and encouraging. If she can do it at home, then she can do it always. The only thing would be if she herself finds it stressful. If that’s the case then I would take a step back.
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momof2kids




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Apr 02 2019, 11:50 am
I tried this with my child that was exactly like this.

Step 1 - when you see the tell tale signs that she is going #2, move her or direct her to go to the bathroom. Do not take off the pull-up - the idea is to get her comfortable with using the bathroom location to go #2. Once you starts cooperating with this and going to the bathroom regularly to do her business go to the next step. It can take a few days of reinforcement

Step 2 - Now when she goes to the bathroom, make a new rule that she must be seated on the toilet or potty. Do not take of the pull-up. She should be okay with this because she has her pull-up and its not a big change. Repeat until this is regularly done

Step 3 - Now that she is using the toilet pull off the pull-up in time for her to do the business in the toilet.
If she has an accident or wasn't fast enough have her watch you cleanup put the #2 in the toilet and flush - the idea is to establish that this is how grown ups do it and where the #2 belongs

Step 4 - now she knows the rules and is consistent - time to switch to big girl underwear
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Wed, Apr 03 2019, 6:41 pm
Update: the past 2 days after school I took off the pull up and encouraged her to use the potty, offered rewards. And both days she pooped in her pants. She has successfully pooped in the potty even recently.

I’m so frustrated I’ve been training her for so long.
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shanarishona




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Apr 03 2019, 7:43 pm
My ds was very similar at 3.5
He was not interested in toilet training at all.
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amother




Lavender


Post  Wed, Apr 03 2019, 7:55 pm
amother wrote:
Update: the past 2 days after school I took off the pull up and encouraged her to use the potty, offered rewards. And both days she pooped in her pants. She has successfully pooped in the potty even recently.

I’m so frustrated I’ve been training her for so long.


The problem is, it sounds like you've been training her halfway. If she's wearing the pull up for a large portion of the day, using the toilet is not really becoming a habit. You're also basically giving her the impression that it's not a real priority for you, only sometimes. Training often isn't a long drawn out process as long as you're 100% consistent for all her waking hours. If you do that for a few days, with reminders and rewards, it tends to be a pretty quick success by the time a child is 3.5.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Wed, Apr 03 2019, 10:48 pm
amother wrote:
The problem is, it sounds like you've been training her halfway. If she's wearing the pull up for a large portion of the day, using the toilet is not really becoming a habit. You're also basically giving her the impression that it's not a real priority for you, only sometimes. Training often isn't a long drawn out process as long as you're 100% consistent for all her waking hours. If you do that for a few days, with reminders and rewards, it tends to be a pretty quick success by the time a child is 3.5.


That makes sense in a way but she is in school and I don’t think they want her in underwear with so many accidents still. At home I’m trying no pull ups now.
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amother




Crimson


Post  Wed, Apr 03 2019, 11:01 pm
She may not be 100% ready for the potty. Ds was only ready when he was almost four and DD when she was just a out three. Both were a ONE day train. No accidents bh.
I wait till they are over ready and it goes very fast. Maybe she just needs more time. Six months is very long (at least I feel so).
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amother




Lavender


Post  Wed, Apr 03 2019, 11:08 pm
amother wrote:
That makes sense in a way but she is in school and I don’t think they want her in underwear with so many accidents still. At home I’m trying no pull ups now.


So do it over the weekend, or wait until pesach.
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amother




Seafoam


Post  Thu, Apr 04 2019, 9:54 am
amother wrote:
So do it over the weekend, or wait until pesach.


Ok so stop encouraging her to use the potty when home until then?
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amother




Lavender


Post  Thu, Apr 04 2019, 9:55 am
amother wrote:
Ok so stop encouraging her to use the potty when home until then?


No!
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amother




Orange


Post  Thu, Apr 04 2019, 9:58 am
amother wrote:
That makes sense in a way but she is in school and I don’t think they want her in underwear with so many accidents still. At home I’m trying no pull ups now.


Ask them. If being toilet trained wasn't a condition of her attending this program - should have some experience with this.
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