Am I raising my daughter badly?

behappy2

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 2:24 pm

I have a daughter who is similar. She is now 3 and has become so much easier. I do see that she needs to be given lots of gentle discipline. Otherwise she would be completely unmanageable. Every kid is different even though posters write that it is exactly like their child...my advice would be follow your gut instinct on what she needs. Don't be afraid of her and don't be afraid to discipline her.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 2:53 pm

I was like this. My mom send me to therapy when I was 13 months old. (Don't ask me what the therapist did or if it helped). When my mom left the room, I'd turn blue from crying even though my father and siblings were there. Same thing, when I didn't get a toy that I wanted immediately. My father was so scared he thought I'd was gonna die. but apparently they were told not to worry so much and not to give in to my screaming. My mom says it got better but it took a long time.
Personality wise I'm a very anxious person and I'm afraid of a lot of things. Now as an adult I can pretty much handle it but I guess as a baby and toddler I couldn't. Don't know if your daughter is the same... Hope it gets better!

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 2:57 pm

Different personalities.
Op you’re doing fine

naturalmom5

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 3:05 pm

Rappel wrote:

Feel free to snigger, but please chime in your experiences, mommas of many:

I have two kids - boy nearly 3, girl 1.25.

My son is very chilled. Obviously he has his moments of fury/exhaustion, but he's very reasonable, often boisterous, and if he does hit/push, then I explain that he needs to calm down before he can rejoin the group, and I put him on the side. It basically works.

My daughter is... Not chilled. She gets very easily frustrated, cries a lot, throws things, hits me. One example: she wants her bottle, and while I go to fill her bottle with formula, she starts to cry. When I do give her her bottle, she continues to cry, and chucks it away - but then cries for me to bring it to her again, at which point she'll finally drink it, and be satisfied.

Another example: if things don't go her way, then she screams (she's had a lusty, piercing scream, like a pterodactyl, ever since she was born. People who hear it cower.), and is inconsolable for minutes, making sure that everyone in the room is aware that SOMETHING IS WRONG. I'm not a cry-it-out kind of mom, and I try to be very attentive to my children's needs. Her behavior is always way out of proportion to whatever the situation was. (In comparison, my son, from birth, has always been a "deep breath, let's move on" kind of person. He only cries if something is really, really terrible. They're complete opposites!)

It seems that when she gets frustrated, her stress goes from 0 to 60 in no time.

I'm really concerned about her. She's starting to be a toddler, but she's still acting like a newborn: crying and helpless whenever anything goes wrong.

What is going on? Is this normal? What will she be like as she gets older? How should I parent such a child?

Let me give you a portent of things to come

The first son at 2 , ds1 we're going now waves and laughs bye..

At 5 you have to toilet train, all the kids will laugh at you , let them
You won't get tzitzis .
He says tefillin needs goof nuki
Tzitzis doesn't
A lomdun lol

At 9 tells school psychologist just fill in the paperwork so you can get paid and I can go back to having fun

Always very cynical but doesn't let anything bother him

Now he's 23 . We get cheap airfare from Israel with long stopover middle of night in Moscow
Thinks it's awesome. Can't stop thanking us

Younger son
As a baby and toddler very fierce and loud
My mother ah, called him pygmy Bushman

In elementary school always fights
Finally had to go to special school with discipline and structure to calm him down

At 20, were not able to go to hotel he wants .
#$&+- you. I'll do my own Pesach. Thank you very much..

WastingTime

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 3:06 pm

Count your blessings that your son is so easy!
You seem like a very attentive mom, your daughter will be just fine!

Rappel

Sun, Apr 07 2019, 7:58 pm

WastingTime wrote:

Count your blessings that your son is so easy!
You seem like a very attentive mom, your daughter will be just fine!

Thank you for your kind words!

I once told a friend (mom of 8) that G-d gave me an easy first child to help me transition into motherhood.

She laughed, and said she feels the opposite: after her first kid, everyone else seems a breeze to handle!