Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
PSA: watch what you say and when.
Previous  1  2  3  4



Post new topic    View latest: 24h 48h 72h

southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:47 am
Many people object to people cutting the line. Many times you hear people informing others that the line continues behind them.
I have also seen people react angrily at line cutters in airports. Before moving to Monsey, I flew frequently.
It is even more annoying if the line cutters do it out of a feeling of superiority.
The goons who said "shiksa" give frum people a bad name and there have been too many stories lately of frum Jews being removed from planes because they were perceived as being unpleasant to others.
She should feel good about putting them in their place and realize that their bad behavior is something that we frum people need to instruct our community not to exhibit.
Back to top

Ema of 5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:47 am
amother wrote:
Anyone who thinks the possiblity that strangers will not react to scolding lacks common sense. I stand by that.

I have already said they are wrong. I haven't been defending them. I can't understand how many posters keep saying this happened in the airport even the poster that just quoted the OP. IThe insult happened on the plane.

But that doesn't matter. I never said they have the right to call her a shiksa. I said it is common sense not to scold strangers. She ended up hurt by their behavior ON THE PLANE which is entirely foreseeable.

My explanation for the behavior of the posters on this thead is typical imamother herd behavior. If you have a different POV than the posters on the thread, then they gang up and pile on even if it is not logical.

Think for yourself if it is smart to go around telling strangers what they are doing wrong.

I see this is futile, so I am stopping now. Have a great day.
Back to top

hotzenplotz




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:54 am
amother wrote:
Ladies, please let your husbands know this. And your sons. And be careful yourselves.

So my daughter, who grew up chasidish but doesn’t look it today, was getting ready to take a flight this week. By not looking chasidish I mean, she wears leggings. Longer hair. Maybe a bit around the neckline showing. This is something she struggles with but she has the warmest neshama.
So on to what happened. A chasidish guy, he was there alone so not sure if he is single, approached the person in front of my daughter in line. Tells the guy in Yiddish, let’s make believe we are together so I can cut the line. My daughter hears this and tells the guy, in Yiddish, I have no problem but it is a huge chilul HaShem. Guy turns white. He didn’t expect my daughter to know Yiddish. Once they boarded, my daughter found her seat. As the guy passes her, he hisses under his breath. SHIKSA.

All I can say is, I hope he burns in he!! My daughter lost all faith in chasidish guys. Thinks they are all like this. (She knows they aren’t all like this, her father would never do this). But it is disgusting. We had to try to explain to her that he probably got his ego bruised and this was his way of getting back at her.

And to the two bachurim in line behind her during her connection. Don’t talk in Yiddish about what a rachmanus the girl in front of you is. She understands every single word. And she told them that when they asked her a question and she answered in Yiddish. They did feel bad. Or embarrassed. But please. Be careful. It can ruin neshamos.


The guy hissed and called your daughter a shiksa. Doesnt that make sense for someone who tries to cut a line? It all goes together.
And I have been to a simcha where people like your daughter and their husbands called a chasidish rabbi a stinker when he made a drasha. "He forgot to use mouthwash was heard across the room when he spoke yiddish". The chasans side innocently invited him not realizing the other side hates chareidim.
Back to top

amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:54 am
amother wrote:
Anyone who thinks the possiblity that strangers will not react to scolding lacks common sense. I stand by that.

I have already said they are wrong. I haven't been defending them. I can't understand how many posters keep saying this happened in the airport even the poster that just quoted the OP. IThe insult happened on the plane.

But that doesn't matter. I never said they have the right to call her a shiksa. I said it is common sense not to scold strangers. She ended up hurt by their behavior ON THE PLANE which is entirely foreseeable.

My explanation for the behavior of the posters on this thead is typical imamother herd behavior. If you have a different POV than the posters on the thread, then they gang up and pile on even if it is not logical.

Think for yourself if it is smart to go around telling strangers what they are doing wrong.


I’m not in a herd. Your sense of stranger danger is extreme.
Back to top

amother
Bisque


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 8:58 am
amother wrote:
I have no objection to raising classy kids who respect everyone. It amazes me advice not to scold strangers is considered wrong on this site. IRL, it is smart behavior for a girl not to take on two grown men. Where is everyone's common sense?


She didn't watch an interaction from afar and walked over to scold them. They literally cut in line RIGHT in front of her. Keeping quiet when people cut in front of you isn't defined as classy behavior either. Respectfully addressing the situation is the classy thing to do, imo.

This girl seemed to have handled it perfectly. She acted with class in letting them know that she's allowing the guy to cut in front of her. And then she added, Yid to Yid, that they needed to consider the Chilul Hashem aspect of their behavior to ensure that these two idiots don't project Yidden as classless selfish people. Additionally, it seems like she kept quiet when the guy later called her a shiksa.

OP, you should be proud of your daughter. She handled this situation better than many adults. You've raised her very well.
Back to top

Notsobusy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:16 am
amother wrote:
I have no objection to raising classy kids who respect everyone. It amazes me advice not to scold strangers is considered wrong on this site. IRL, it is smart behavior for a girl not to take on two grown men. Where is everyone's common sense?


A few years ago I noticed two visibly frum men making a huge chillul Hashem. I went over to them and quietly told them that I thought it was a chillul Hashem and there are many people watching them. They both told me I was right, they thanked me and stopped doing it right away. I really think they didn't realize how bad it was until I pointed it out, but once I did they acted like adults.

That was the right reaction, this other guy sounds like an immature idiot.
Back to top

Dandelion1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:23 am
I would only add, op, that just like we would hope that that man's mother would admonish him, had she been a witness to his behavior, that you take this opportunity to help your daughter understand that people from all walks of life can behave badly, and that it does not mark an entire group.

I admire that she spoke up, in a very restrained and appropriate way.
Back to top

amother
Cerulean


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:27 am
These "PSA's" are usually not really informative. They usually have 100 responses of which 99 are in complete agreement. Who exactly is the PSA educating? The one person who disagrees will just continue to disagree. The title should read: Please validate- watch what you say and when.
Back to top

amother
Coral


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:34 am
amother wrote:
I didn't say she deserved it. I said it is not smart to antagonize strangers. I wouldn't tell a strangers what they did is "a huge chilul HaShem" because you don't know how they will react.

In this case he called her a shiksa which was his retort.


I agree with you. Except I don't consider Chassidish men to be strangers. I consider them brothers. And I expect better behavior from them.
Back to top
Page 4 of 4 Previous  1  2  3  4 Recent Topics




Post new topic       Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Watch
by amother
2 Fri, Mar 22 2024, 8:20 am View last post
Mislaibeled Instagram live-did u watch?
by amother
14 Sun, Mar 10 2024, 11:36 am View last post
Where in BP can I go for a watch battery that lasts a yr
by amother
4 Thu, Mar 07 2024, 8:19 pm View last post
Michael kors or coach watch
by amother
0 Sun, Feb 18 2024, 11:03 pm View last post
Do you watch over your gel nails
by amother
6 Wed, Jan 24 2024, 2:01 am View last post