Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
Going to a new shul, know no-one



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 3:53 pm
I am a single divorcee with one small child. I am planning to go to a new shul this shabbos in advance of moving into the neighborhood. The shul will be the closest when we move.

I know absolutely no-one and I am really nervous. The community is known to be quite cold and unwelcoming. However I have decided to give it a chance because the shul has excellent programming for kids.

Any tips on what to do, what to say etc?
Back to top

amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 4:21 pm
Hugs! It must be quite an adjustment!

Do you know that women attend shul on a regular Shabbos? At the shul that we attend most women stay home with the kids. The couple of times that I've been there were only 3-4 women. It really depends on the type of community you're joining. Probably best to find out in advance.
Back to top

flmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 5:31 pm
I would make a call this week to the Rebetzin and introduce myself. Then when you see her on shabbos (you can ask a few people who the Rebetzin is which is a good conversation starter) walk over and introduce yourself. If she is a good Rebetzin she will introduce you around and make you feel welcome. Good luck!!
Back to top

Petra




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:19 pm
If they have excellent kids programming then more then one person must care in that shul. And if there are caring people in that shul, they will notice that you are new and will welcome you.
Back to top

cm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 09 2019, 9:27 pm
Petra wrote:
If they have excellent kids programming then more then one person must care in that shul. And if there are caring people in that shul, they will notice that you are new and will welcome you.


Not necessarily. "New" men are noticed. Women often are not (IME), perhaps because so many women don't go to shul regularly that it can be hard to tell who's new. Checking in with the rebbetzin in advance is a great idea.
Back to top

imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2019, 6:15 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I am a single divorcee with one small child. I am planning to go to a new shul this shabbos in advance of moving into the neighborhood. The shul will be the closest when we move.

I know absolutely no-one and I am really nervous. The community is known to be quite cold and unwelcoming. However I have decided to give it a chance because the shul has excellent programming for kids.

Any tips on what to do, what to say etc?

At my shul the youngest children's group is parents and children together so you'd get a chance to meet other parents there. But even if it's not like that there or your child is older and the activity doesn't have parents there, still you might not be the only parent who brings their child to where the program is and you could meet other parents then.
Back to top

amother
Navy


 

Post Wed, Apr 10 2019, 6:57 am
I wouldn’t move to a community for this reason.
Often women with young kids don’t even go to shul!
I would try to find a warm community who is more welcoming.
If your child is young, I don’t see how a shul program would be a deciding factor.
Back to top

Petra




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 11 2019, 7:59 am
Let us know how it goes.
Back to top

Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Apr 11 2019, 9:09 am
move out of your comfort zone and approach people and talk to them. Don't wait for people to approach you.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Birthday gift one year old
by dbg
1 Today at 12:27 am View last post
Vaccuum mop two in one help me find a good one
by amother
6 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:33 pm View last post
Tell us about your theme this year! (If you had one)
by amother
17 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 3:54 pm View last post
Re: Shabbos robes in shul.
by patzer
20 Sun, Mar 24 2024, 1:12 am View last post
It is not a chiyuv to go to shul for zachur
by amother
48 Sat, Mar 23 2024, 11:36 pm View last post