Attention trolls: this one's for you!

DVOM

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 7:40 am

We've been having lots of potential trolls lately, and lots of quickly locked threads...It makes me think that there are for sure at least some very bored young men reading here. That's annoying and a little gross, but it also got me thinking that it could be a good thing. After all, we have a lot of wisdom to share, and there have been so many threads wishing and bemoaning the fact that our men don't always 'get' us.

So....

What would you ladies like to tell them?

amother

Pink

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 7:47 am

Tips on how to be a good husband ( so your wife doesn't have to come on here to complain)
1: Don't mention her weight. Ever. Ever ever ever ever ever. Even if she gains 300 pounds during pregnancy. Continuously reiterate how beautiful she is. Don't worry, she knows she gained weight- you don't need to tell her. Ever.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 7:54 am

Good one!
It’s nice for them to learn what a normal DH is - so many woman post about husbands who are literal jerks- especially to the single guys...

For the single guys:
1. Marriage is not all about s@x and **shocker** not e an all about you. It’s about her. Like it’s weitten in the Ketubah.
2. Having children is a big responsibility (of which you will have to raise as well- NOT just your DW)
3. Having a wife is expensive (you might want to look into just having a mistress if all you want is s@x.. see #1.)
4. Making your wife happy is a very difficult and life long battle
Hope I didn’t scare you from getting married haha.

To the lazy good for nothing’s sitting in front of the tv all day while their hero wives are running the fort ....
... go get a life!!

And for the single guys reading this and thinking that it’s ok (because after all, aren’t woman supposed to take care of the poor unfortunate men..?) it’s against the Torah! Last time I checked a man has to provide for his family.

For the single girls reading this...
... marriage is one of the biggest challenges in life. Same for motherhood. But when your marriage is in a good place or a good day parenting there is nothing more beautiful in the world and no job more satisfying.
That all being said...
-adjusting to marriage and running a home is very difficult
- having a baby is lot more harder then I thought
- raising children is literally a full time job with no vacation days
- enjoyment in s@x takes time to come. (No pun intended...) your DH must be patient and loving you deserve all the pleasure in the world. Don’t feel guilty about taking what is owed to you. S@x isn’t all about the guy.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 7:58 am

Understand that pregnancy and postpartum, our bodies are at work overtime. So even if we have been doing “nothing” all day, know that every little thing we did manage took superhuman effort and appreciate that. I once heard a doctor explain that if we understood what goes on in a woman’s body, we would be astounded that the average woman stays sane after going through that.

happyone

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 8:10 am

DVOM wrote:

you rock DVOM!
however, Trolls don't seek or take advice. Generally they are bored or lonely souls looking to either stir trouble or a way to push time. my advice to trolls is GET A LIFE. The stuff on Imamother is women to women. Only WE can get it. If I trolled a mens board, it probably wouldnt interest me after five minutes.

amother

Pearl

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 8:12 am

A woman doesn’t naturally clim@x when you do. Sorry if your chosson teacher taught you this way, but it’s not true. So stop complaining that your wife doesn’t want it as much as you do, because we do. But would you want to do it if time and again you left unsatisfied?
Invest in educating yourself about female biology and what a clit0ris is.
Thank you.

PinkFridge

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 8:32 am

amother [ Pink ] wrote:

Not to mention that she gained weight carrying YOUR child. That alone makes her the most beautiful woman in the world.
(And I won't ask if her good cooking has put a few pounds on you.)

Now, for the unmarried trolls: Read Johnny Lingo's Eight Cow Wife. Make copies for everyone on your floor/in your dirah. Iron a few packs of pizza and discuss over melaveh malka one week.

PinkFridge

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 8:34 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

And boys, don't worry, she's been told to give her all to you.
Not to sound trite, but when you both put in 100%, the sum exceeds the parts. (And guess what, when overall, you are giving 100%, she'll help you through those times you can't, or don't. And vice versa.)

zaq

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 10:33 am

I have absolutely nothing to say to a troll. Trolling is despicable. When I want to dish with my female friends IRL or online, I don’t want males of any stripe, age, marital status or orientation listening in. Why would you think that a boy or man who is low enough and sneaky enough to break into this forum and post bogus questions, usually of the salacious variety, would read, listen and mend his ways because of something you said here?

amother

Tan

Wed, Apr 10 2019, 11:27 am

that due to past trauma it hard for me to trust people especially men...
and that telling me he doesnt see a change from my therapy and isnt sure its worth money just makes me trust him less
and that when I cry to my friends and not to him its because of my fears and traumas not because I dont like him...

imasoftov

Fri, Apr 12 2019, 6:18 am

amother [ Ruby ] wrote:

That trolling and being on inappropriate sites will cause you and your future family so much pain. Please get help now before it gets worse.
You will become your worst enemy.
You will never enjoy a real relationship unless you come clean.

This makes me think - we get lots of threads from a woman whose husband or son visits pοrnοgraphic sites, but have we ever had one from a poster whose husband/son trolls here?

amother

Plum

Fri, Apr 12 2019, 7:32 am

amother [ Seashell ] wrote:

Married people should share their money .

Not to derail, but is this actual Halacha? I ask as it is a serious bone of contention in our marriage and would like some leverage. Not that my DH would pay attention, even if it is Halacha when it comes to $. 😞