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amother




OP


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:17 pm
Last week mishpacha printed a follow up to the shared space series defending development living even though that's what presumably led to some issues in the protagonists lives.
I'm faced with the choice of moving to a development and would love to hear perspective both good or bad from people who live or lived in one.

Tia
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pesek zman




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:18 pm
I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the term development. Where are developments popular? (Is it Lakewood primarily?)
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amother




OP


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:21 pm
pesek zman wrote:
I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the term development. Where are developments popular? (Is it Lakewood primarily?)


Yes I'm referring to Lakewood they are quite popular here. It's cheaper to build and people seem to love the sense of community but I'm just not sure if it would be right for me.
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amother




Aubergine


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:21 pm
As someone who lives in a large development (Westgate, Lakewood) I can only repeat the old joke

Why are Lakewood housing developments called complexes? Because living in one cause you to develop them.

Of course it's not really that bad and Westgate may be different from most developments but you get the point.
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amother




Yellow


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:39 pm
I think it depends on the person , my BF lives in Sterling Forest for last 7-8 years and absolutely loves it . Another friend lives in another Lakewood development and loves it as well. If we ever move to Lakewood I can see myself living in one. I would say do really good research - and visit it several times before buying - go to the park , have your husband daven in the shul, possibly walk to it on shabbos and talk to women sitting outside . Good luck !
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amother




Gold


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:39 pm
Can’t imagine living in one. Haven’t heard good things.
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amother




Crimson


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 9:54 pm
Ive lived in a development for the past 13 years and live it to pieces! I can’t imagine how people live any other way, this bungalow colony style life is a dream come true. My kids are busy with friends all day, I always have company when I sit out side to watch my kids, and there’s an overall communal feel between the neighbors. we go to each other’s simchas, friendly, I can call any neighbor at any time about whatever and feel 100% comfortable.

There is definitely potential for stickiness like when I was the first to plant grass I got some jealous comments, or when there was a disagreement about a communa space what to do with it but that’s small stuff. Overall it’s a friendly warm atmosphere. Most ppl aren’t nosy and looking at each other’s things, so we do have privacy.

I honk if I wouldn’t live in a development I’d be very lonely. Or constantly visiting others or inviting friends over. Must have company!
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amother




Amethyst


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:03 pm
I think some of it has to do with your personality. My sister is the types who loves to be around people and likes the feeling of people around her, so development life in Lakewood is perfect for her. But I hate neighbors and like privacy so we moved and got a house with a good amount of acreage so we’re not so close to our neighbors.
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amother




Orange


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:05 pm
This week there is letter to say that somebody that lived in a DEVELOPMENT moved to a private home and is soooo happy. No Yentas, come and go without being watched, commented about etc. He/she lists tons of stuff that they don't miss ….just sayin'
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ckk




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:11 pm
I hate hate hate it!
But u5t really depends on your need for privacy and lifestyle.
If one of my kids (or im) having a melt down the knowledge that any amount of neighbours could easily hear through the walls really gets to me. And the "rules" about when its "mentchlich" to allow kids to play outside on shabbos so that ppl can get their beauty sleep is stifling. And what time in the morning downstairs neighbours find it acceptable to hear little feet running around is rediculously late...
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amother




Turquoise


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:16 pm
Hated it. Moved to Jackson and my quality of life is so much better. Developments are a dump, no one has respect for other people’s stuff or privacy, the kids run away in unsupervised gangs.
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tzimip




 
 
 


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:24 pm
Im sorry imamother turquoise that you had such a bad experience. The way you describe it doesn't really represent development living. I live in a lakewood development with wonderful people. They mostly respect other people's property. It's not a dump and the kids are not running around in unsupervised gangs.
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amother




cornflower


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:34 pm
I like & need neighbors, but development living would be way to much for me. There's zero privacy, everyone is privy to your comings and goings. Everything left outside is automatically everyone's and the houses are so close together that you can't leave your shades up without people being able to look in. It's like living like one big family with zero privacy.
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amother




Hotpink


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 10:35 pm
It definitely depends on your personality. I think if you have hesitations beforehand it's probably NOT for you. The people who love it have almost all loved it since day one and were excited about it in the first place. I knew I would never be happy in a development, so it was never on the table for me. I value my privacy too much, and I wanted much more control over my kids' chinuch in general than what I felt was possible in a development. Of my siblings, 4 moved to a development and were initially happy. 3 of them moved to private homes once their kids got a little older and they started feeling the chinuch issues more.
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amother




Beige


Post  Sat, Apr 13 2019, 11:55 pm
I feel like I'm living in a fishtank.

But I am introverted, and I crave privacy and space. Oh, for a patch of grass to make a kiddie pool on! For the ability to play my music out loud! Just to sit out on a lawn chair by myself, without it being considered a solicitation for company!

My kids, though, are having an idyllic childhood experience here, so I am grateful for that.
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amother




Bronze


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 12:04 am
Let's just say, thanks to all the developments here, the local social workers are kept in business.
It fills a niche for a small stage in life and then it gets extremely unhealthy with boundaries...
Not the way it's supposed to be.
No mah tovah ohalecha yakov here......
sorry just the honest truth!!
good luck!
You can find social life, camaraderie and children NOT in a development. It does exist!
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amother




Azure


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 12:45 am
Definitely depends on your personality.
I don’t like it at all. I have no privacy. I feel very stifled. I share my yard with downstairs neighbors who leave a dozen large toys in the yard at all times and it looks horrible. The shared backyard space is full of garbage, boards with nails sticking out of them .l, etc.

Most people seem to love it. It’s definitely ffiendly but neighborhoods are too. We are renting and I’m glad we did this so we know not to buy in a development . But we are very private people and very picky about certain things so we aren’t cut out for development living.
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amother




OP


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 12:50 am
What about a development where there are private homes but all within one gate and pretty close to each other for example the woods?

Not considering that one specifically but something similar
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amother




Azure


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 12:54 am
Depends on the place.
The Villas for example doesn’t feel at all like a development. Very private. I think the woods is like that too.

In most developetments there are basically no yards and the porches, front doors and driveways are 5 feet from each other . Privacy impossible .

Can you post which development it is?
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amother




Taupe


Post  Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:04 am
Help! We bought a house in a development and will be moving soon. This thread is making me nervous since I really value my privacy and I was so excited to move out of my Boro Park apt. Is it like this in all developments?
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