Development living

amother

Tan

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:05 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

What about a development where there are private homes but all within one gate and pretty close to each other for example the woods?

Not considering that one specifically but something similar

Having similar dilemma- wonder if we’re considering same place!

amother

Azure

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:27 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Help! We bought a house in a development and will be moving soon. This thread is making me nervous since I really value my privacy and I was so excited to move out of my Boro Park apt. Is it like this in all developments?

You might love it especially if you’re coming from BP. And a lot of it depends on who your direct neighbors are . If you were my neighbor I would not bother you Smile

Are you moving to a new development ?

naturalmom5

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:27 am

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

Ive lived in a development for the past 13 years and live it to pieces! I can’t imagine how people live any other way, this bungalow colony style life is a dream come true. My kids are busy with friends all day, I always have company when I sit out side to watch my kids, and there’s an overall communal feel between the neighbors. we go to each other’s simchas, friendly, I can call any neighbor at any time about whatever and feel 100% comfortable.

There is definitely potential for stickiness like when I was the first to plant grass I got some jealous comments, or when there was a disagreement about a communa space what to do with it but that’s small stuff. Overall it’s a friendly warm atmosphere. Most ppl aren’t nosy and looking at each other’s things, so we do have privacy.

I honk if I wouldn’t live in a development I’d be very lonely. Or constantly visiting others or inviting friends over. Must have company!

That only works when are in your early 20s, and everything is still like being in Seminary.

The novelty wears off fast. When you get oldert , you get tired of the bikes and and toys all over the street, all the kids on your lawn instead of in the park, and all the garbage in your yard and driveway.

Not to mention, it can get cliquey, and lot of the ladies get very catty..

amother

Azure

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:35 am

We had an issue where an older girl was following around my daughter and encouraging her to do bad things , like knock on doors “for chai lifeline” and keep the money. Thankfully daughter didn’t want to. Older girl also was caught stealing from multiple neighbors and opening packages on their porch.
It was very hard to break up the “friendship” when every time dd stepped outside the girl could see her even 8 houses down and would shout hello to her and run over to play. Then a few days ago there were a bunch of boxes in my yard and I looked at them and they had this girls last name on them lol garbage had blown in form the wind. Development life!

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 1:41 am

Only one poster wrote what I’m thinking - it depends which development! Most developments are very crowded but I live in Brookhill which is the best of all worlds! Lots of grass and trees, privacy and a beautiful, picturesque block, but an awesome social life when you want, the kids have tons of friends, and a real sense of community. As an introvert myself I really love it, and I recently bought on a regular block (I’m in a basement) and I’m so nervous about missing the development lifestyle.

Anyone who buys has to do research about that particular development. As someone else said, go for Shabbos, have your husband daven there, make sure the crowd is right for you. You can’t paint all developments with one brush.

DVOM

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 7:26 am

We lived in a Lakewood development for ten years, and moved two years ago to Jackson when we bought a house.

For the most part, we were happy living in a development, but in retrospect, we were happy because we didn't know any better (and, I hope, because it is in our nature to look on the bright side and make the best of things). The development perks that people talk about-easy access to friends, instant social life for your kids- are also prevelant in neighborhood living. Our new neighborhood is full of lovely families, and my kids have made wonderful new friendships. One thing that was truly easier about living in a development was the close proximity to shul and mikva. Friday night mikvah now is a two hour round trip walk. (Even that though is kind of lovely. The neighborhood has a coordinator that sets up walking partners, couples volenteer to babysit for each others kids so you can walk with your husband if no other women are walking).

Here were the downsides: There was no respect for private property. Anything left outside (bikes, strollers) was fair game for any neighborhood kid that was walking past. There was little supervision outside after a certain age (in my development, three year olds were often watched by a parent, or more often by an older sibling, but four and up generally roamed by themselves.)The kids ran around in huge packs. If you are a super social kid, this 'crowd' type of socializing could be really fun, but if your a quieter, shyer, less 'ra-ra' type of kid, there was really no oppertunity to get to know just one kid at a time. The development was also very dirty, with lots of garbage in the gutters. There was no space or possiblity for family time out of doors, because there was no privacy. If I took chalk or paint or playdoe outside, there were five to ten other kids who wanted to join. Most of the time my kids and I didn't mind, but sometimes I just wanted to spend time alone with my kids, and outside that wasn't really possible. What I found most disturbing was the lack of respect from kids to adults. The disrespect was incredible. If I asked kids to please go off our steps, or to stop doing something that I thought was dangerous (like a 6 year old shoving a younger brother into a garbage can, something I witnessed a few times), I was told: "your not my mother! I don't have to listen to you! Why do I need to? The street doesn't belong to you!" (I can remember the pleasent shock I felt the first time I asked the kids in our new neighborhood to please go off the trampoline because my kids had to come inside and didn't get an argument or chutzpah but a 'sure, thank you Mrs. Dvom!")

My two oldest kids are thoughtful, gentle, and respectful by nature. My third is a whippersnapper. We moved mostly because of him. Or more accurately, I should say he was the catalyst. When he was about five I watching him join a gang of kids mocking and laughing at a younger kid; that was it, time to move. I knew that in a development there would be no way to really supervise him. I was scared of the influences he would be exposed to. I'm really thankful to be raising him on my quiet, gentle, calm, kind street.

amother

Lilac

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 7:47 am

I live in a development that has big houses with significant space between each one. There is lots of privacy but the friends are there for the kids too.

I’m the type that would like living like this. Privacy when you want it and friends when you want them. However, be careful before you buy. Many chassidish families bought homes in my development. We are a very frum yeshivish family. The chassidish kids play together and do not include the other kids. The women are all friends and although they smile and say hello, they do not want to become good friends with women who are not chassidish. Of course there are other families like ours in this development but they are spread out and not right there when we open our front door.
Development living can really be nice but it becomes difficult I see, when chassidim come to live among the yeshivish families.

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 8:23 am

amother [ Lilac ] wrote:

From my experience I would say same is true vice versa.

PinkFridge

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 8:24 am

pesek zman wrote:

I’m sorry I’m not familiar with the term development. Where are developments popular? (Is it Lakewood primarily?)

Not sure if anyone answered yet. They are subdivisions primarily composed of townhouses, like row houses, with separate entrances for basements, that are invariably rented out. Some are mega, like Westgate, and also have a variety of layouts, including semidetached homes. (Trying to remember if any are singles.)

PinkFridge

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 8:27 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Breathe in, breathe out.
I don't know what your choices were, $$ and otherwise. Don't second guess yourself. Allow yourself to think about enjoying the extra space in and out of the house, friends for your kids, a playground on the premises...

ectomorph

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:07 am

What is the price difference between buying in a development vs private home in Lakewood?

dorothy1

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:18 am

Let’s be real. Most people that chose to live in a development do so for the price . It’s hundreds of thousands less than a house of the same size would be not in a development (if both in Lakewood ).

amother

Taupe

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:22 am

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

You might love it especially if you’re coming from BP. And a lot of it depends on who your direct neighbors are . If you were my neighbor I would not bother you Smile

Are you moving to a new development ?

Yes it’s a new development

amother

cornflower

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:35 am

Amother taupe, good luck! Who know's, maybe you'll love it. But it's good to know what to expect. That you won't have privacy even on your porch. That whenever you open your front door, there will always be people there. That anything left outside is everyones, from when you move in. That there's lots of trash on the ground. That there may be peer pressure.
But also, that your kids will always have company and never be bored. There's always a neighbor available to babysit or borrow from. The kids will be able to run around outside more freely.
But I do think that for a city girl/family it will be easier than someone that grew up in the suburbs and is used to more privacy.

thunderstorm

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:35 am

DVOM wrote:

I literally could have said this all word for word. The only difference is that I lived in a Monsey developments. But I believe it's all the same. We've had even bigger issues depending on where I lived. But after 10 years of renting in a development I am so so much happier having my private house on a quiet cul de sac where neighbors don't stand around while we grill dinner outdoors , have a backyard picnic, where my kids can play with play dough together without an army of other kids joining in. Of course the kids loved living in a free for all bungalow colony all year round , but in all honesty , even though I lived it and did ok while I lived it , I can't fathom how I survived it all. Our quality of life is so so much better with privacy and boundaries.

livinginflatbus

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:41 am

It would never work for me . My sister in law lives in a very close knit development and I get claustrophobic every time we go there . Brings back high school clique vibes . I live on a regular block and my kids don’t lack for friends . Also, she’s very Yeshivish and she says the peer pressure to dress your kids in expensive clothes is enormous .

ectomorph

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:45 am

ectomorph wrote:

What is the price difference between buying in a development vs private home in Lakewood?

I'm still curious

amother

cornflower

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:49 am

Ectomorph, depending on where you buy an house, the price can be double than in a development.
Regularly, it's at least $300,000-$400,000 more.
(This is from my observation in Monsey, we're in the buying process.)

Notsobusy

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:54 am

ectomorph wrote:

What is the price difference between buying in a development vs private home in Lakewood?

Of course it depends on many things, like the neighborhood and size of property, but probably around $200,000 for the same size house.

When we were looking to buy we really didn't want a development. We are very private and we couldn't imagine living like that. We were deciding between a development with single 5 bedroom houses with tiny properties or a much smaller house on a large lot on a private block for about the same price. We chose the small house and are so happy here. We love our neighbors, everyone is very friendly, the kids have great friends, but we still have our privacy.

naturalmom5

Sun, Apr 14 2019, 9:55 am

dorothy1 wrote:

So go to Tom's River

In a place like the villas or Somerset or Chesterfield etc.. 4/500k gets you a 5 bedroom house with a teeny yard front and back and few amenities

The same money in TR you can get a very big yard a pool a deck , often many other things

6/7 buys a resort.

As a added bonus, places like TR and Jackson, at least for now keep the more extremist element in check and prevent them from getting too weird and crazy