How to raise poor kids who are not emotionally scarred

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, Apr 15 2019, 12:39 pm

I have seen children who felt “deprived” growing up channel that emotion to become extremely sucessful financially as adults. Those children never resented their parents as adults, although they they might have as children. In the cases I have seen, the parents were loving and dedicated to the children, they just didn’t have the ability to provide the extras that their friends had and that they wanted. On some level, the kids felt that their parents would have if they could have.

amother

Tan

Mon, Apr 15 2019, 1:57 pm

We are poor as well. We taught our kids that there are "Needs and Wants". There are Necessities and Luxury.
They will get their needs.
But wants they need to ask Hashem for, if Hashem knows it's good for them to have, HE will provide it.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:45 pm

I grew up thinking my parents were poor because our house was always in need of repair and I barely got anything new. Most of my clothes were from a gmach and my toys were hand me downs. However, I always remember my parents talking about how they could not afford anything because all of their money was going towards tuition. I'm sure based on their income they were considered upper middle class and they paid full tuition. I remember when I was a teenager some girls in my class commenting how almost no one pays full tuition because it's too expensive Surprised

. Ever since then I've felt so much resentment to the administration of my school because I felt like they were unfairly not giving my parents a scholarship. In any case now I am an adult and lots of time has passed and I see how much blessing that my parents now have in their lives both financial and otherwise and I really think that it's all because of their sacrifices to pay tuition. However I still literally shred to pieces any mail we get from my old school asking for donations. My dh doesn't understand why I do this lol!
Anyway I don't have any advice for the op, just sharing my experience growing up 'poor'