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Going away for Pesach and giving house to neighbor
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amother




Floralwhite


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:35 pm
We once lived in a small community where lending your home to the family members of those remaifor Pesach was standard and accepted practice. It was strange and considered unkind when I didn't want to. This was extremely difficult for me because I am very private and clean, and I could not bare the thought of people in my home while I was away. But I know I was considered very selfish for not helping other families so their Yomtov guests could have a place to stay...the mentality was "it's just for sleeping space, what's the big deal?". But it was a big deal for me. (And those who did lend had some horror stories they whispered behind closed doors, one even found confidential information on their computer had been gone KL looked through). If you can do this Mitzvah, it is a big one, and I see that it's usually people who grew up in an open home culture that have an easier time with it.
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Eureka!




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:36 pm
Depends... if you know them and if you're comfortable with the idea of having them in your house, lama lo?
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SixOfWands




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:43 pm
It funny to me that people are worried about crumbs. I can vacuum and clean up and all is well.

I worry about valuables. Would I have to install a deadlock on my bedroom door? Or buy a safe for my jewelry? What about all the things that can't easily be locked up, like silver, or my younger son's collection of autographed baseballs?

Sorry, no. Unless I actually know you, you can't have my place while I'm gone.
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amother




Cerise


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:45 pm
Quote:

We once lived in a small community where lending your home to the family members of those remaifor Pesach was standard and accepted practice. It was strange and considered unkind when I didn't want to.

Maybe you lived in my OOT community. It is the norm to lend your home for yomim tovim and people would think it was funny if someone said no. I don't love the idea but have been in the situation where I have asked people to borrow their homes so always say yes if I can when asked. It's a huge chessed.
We just lock our bedroom door and tell then which rooms to use. They're not using our kitchen, just sleeping.
I ALWAYS leave a gift if I use someone's home and have always been given a gift. My friend even sent over her cleaning lady to clean and wash linens when her guests were done by me.
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amother




cornflower


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:46 pm
I'm also giving my apt for my neighbor. Felt like I didn't have a choice. I never liked the idea of giving it out even for a fee and this is a favor.....
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Raisin




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 2:52 pm
I would possibly be ok but not my husband. But it would be a ton of work...I once contemplated renting out our house to someone but I was relieved when they cancelled. I would certainly lock our bedroom door and office so it would only be bedrooms, kitchen and living space.

You need to bear in mind running costs of a house. Heating, hot water and so on cost money and if we are away we can turn it off. Air conditioning in the summer is a fortune.
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causemommysaid




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 3:17 pm
Its a huge chessed and I do it even though its hard for me. I never had a terrible experience but small things bothered me like them forgetting to turn off lights or their kids opened some bath toys that were sealed etc. I never said anything but it irked me. It was my opportunity to work on myself.
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amother




White


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 3:28 pm
What if
1. you're cleaning for Pesach anyway b/c you'll be home for part of Y"T, neighbors are using house for relatives the other part, and
2. the house is being used for sleeping only.

How do you all feel about that?
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amother




Azure


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 3:35 pm
I once lent out bedrooms, not master or kitchen. My neighbor was fantastic, she even offered to send over her own linen
Left it all clean plus a gift.

Dh however is not comfortable with it so we don't any longer.

We also rented a home (for pay) that was pessach cleaned. It was amazing for us and we left it very clean. In fact we heard our hosts were very happy how we left the home & offered it to us again.
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amother




Aqua


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 3:35 pm
I've left my house in the past. Sometime for rent and sometime lending it out to a neighbour. Had good experiences and a few bad ones too!
At this stage of my life I find it too difficult even if I clean for pessach before I leave!
I was offered to rent it out and was asked to lend it out but I said no. ( I do feel a bit guilty not to be able to do this chessed )
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agreer




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 3:49 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
What if
1. you're cleaning for Pesach anyway b/c you'll be home for part of Y"T, neighbors are using house for relatives the other part, and
2. the house is being used for sleeping only.

How do you all feel about that?


If I'm not home, I don't want anyone else sleeping there. Too much potential liability.
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icebreaker




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 3:52 pm
No can do. Only person I trust to be there while kids and I are away is ex-dh (funny enough) to feed and walk the dogs.
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amother




Pumpkin


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 4:38 pm
We have friends around the corner from us who borrow our home for their guests when we're gone for Y"T. They offer linen, but we have a guest room already set up so we don't need their stuff unless they need more rooms. We've generally had good experiences except for some really minor damage when they put a family with young kids up here. They felt terrible and apologized a million times and offered to pay for the damage but it really was minor. Since then they've only put up adults and we've barely noticed they were here. They only come for Y"T, not chol hamoed, and they're long gone by the time we get home. We put away any visible chametz that we sell but we don't kasher the kitchen and they know not to use it. They're free to keep stuff in the fridge wrapped up so it stays kosher l'Pesach.
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sky




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 4:56 pm
I wouldn’t clean special.
I’ve done it for neighbors but I don’t give master bedroom or kitchen.
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tichellady




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 5:33 pm
amother [ White ] wrote:
What if
1. you're cleaning for Pesach anyway b/c you'll be home for part of Y"T, neighbors are using house for relatives the other part, and
2. the house is being used for sleeping only.

How do you all feel about that?


Fine with me but I think it’s a very nice thing and wouldn’t expect it from others.
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mom!




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 8:10 pm
I have done it (master bedroom included as I don't have beds in other rooms) and I have to say I really don't appreciate being asked. I am usually asked by a very very close friend and neighbor who we do a lot for each other and I always feel like I can't say no. Here and there, there are good excuses (pesach-I'm not cleaning, Shabbos Chanuka-we are coming up at the zman to light menorah ect.) which I use as much as possible. She always buys me a beautiful gift and has offered to do linens and send her cleaning lady. I just don't like having people in my house, my bed, leaving it spotless and coming home to a mess ect.
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Chayalle




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Apr 15 2019, 9:01 pm
I used to live in a smaller house and hosted alot of family for Pesach. My neighbors generously allowed (even offered!) me the use of their homes for Pesach. I see how lucky I was to have such kind neighbors. One neighbor, whose house was semi-attached to mine, used to tell me to go ahead and use her fridge! I used to put all the wine bottles there, and send my brothers to bring them in time for the Seder. This freed up space in my fridge for everything else....

I was always careful about who I put in my neighbors' homes, and went to personally check that it was left clean.

I used to send my neighbors a gourmet cheesecake (from one of Lakewood's most popular venues) for Shavuos as a token of my appreciation.

BTW, according to my Rabbi, the house does not have to be clean for Pesach in order to be used by guests, as long as there's no visible Chometz around.
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salt




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Apr 16 2019, 1:10 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
What if
1. you're cleaning for Pesach anyway b/c you'll be home for part of Y"T, neighbors are using house for relatives the other part, and
2. the house is being used for sleeping only.

How do you all feel about that?


I would if I trust the people who will be staying in our house. Lots of people do it where I live. You're going away, you lend your house to neighbours to put up guests. It's usually just for sleeping, as they eat at their hosts, which makes it easier.
We never go away Pesach, so I have never really had to think about it. But we've lent our apartment for shabbat, and we've lent it to people we know if we go away for a few days in the summer.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Tue, Apr 16 2019, 3:18 am
amother [ White ] wrote:
2. the house is being used for sleeping only.

Oy, brings back bad memories for me. I let a 'not yet religious' couple use my apartment for shabbat, came home to find stains on the sheets and even seeped through to the mattress...

No words...
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Ruchel




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Apr 16 2019, 5:37 am
LOL NO
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